Human Nature Page #10

Nathan, Lila, and Nathan's parents (looking very, very old)

sit at the dining room table. Salad is about to be eaten,

and everyone glances sideways over at Lila, waiting for her

to make her move. She reaches for the wrong fork, corrects

herself and picks the salad fork. Nathan breathes a sigh of

relief. His mother looks disappointed, clucks. They eat in

silence. Finally:

LILA:

It's lovely to finally meet you, Mr.

and Mrs. Bronfman. I've heard so

much about you and I've seen you in

photographs from Nathan's childhood,

but it's nice to meet you in the

flesh. I must say, you look exactly

the same as in the photographs.

MOTHER:

Thank you, dear.

NATHAN:

Actually, Mother and Father, you

look very, very old. You look

terrible.

LILA:

Nathan!

His mother and father touch their faces reflexively, then

look at each other and laugh.

MOTHER:

Tell him, Harold.

FATHER:

Son, your mother and I are doing a

production of The Gin Game at the

local community theater. We forgot

to take off our make-up.

The mother and father laugh again. Then they pull at their

latex faces. The wrinkles come off. And they look exactly as

they did in the flashback scene, albeit a bit pink-faced.

There is another pause.

LILA:

(awkward)

Goodness, you two look exactly as

you did in those old photos.

MOTHER:

(cold)

Yes, so you mentioned earlier, dear.

NATHAN:

(changing the subject)

Lila's a nature writer, mother.

MOTHER:

I love nature. As long as it stays

in the zoo where it belongs.

The father and Nathan laugh at mother's joke. Lila joins in

weakly, against her better judgment.

MOTHER:

(to Lila)

Don't you agree, dear?

Lila hesitates.

NATHAN:

Of course she does, mother.

CUT TO:

INT. NATHAN AND LILA'S BEDROOM - LATER

Nathan is in bed, in starched pajamas. He lies on his back

under perfect covers and stares straight up at the ceiling.

NATHAN:

What are you doing in there?

LILA (O.S.)

(pissy)

I'll be out in a minute.

NATHAN:

I'm sorry about my parents.

LILA (O.S.)

You didn't seem sorry when you were

laughing at all your mother's stupid,

tasteless, cruel animal jokes.

NATHAN:

I was simply attempting to keep the

evening light. You know that I feel

similarly to you about nature.

LILA (O.S.)

Do you?

NATHAN:

Of course.

(beat)

I simply love the... naturalness of

it all.

Lila emerges from the bathroom, radiant, hopeful.

LILA:

Do you? Oh do you, darling?

NATHAN:

Why certainly!

Lila happily leaps into bed. She smothers Nathan with kisses.

LILA:

Oh, darling. I'm so relieved. Let's

celebrate with a long hike in the

woods tomorrow!

NATHAN:

(oh sh*t)

That's a great idea.

Nathan kisses her.

LILA:

It'll be wonderful! I'll show you my

old stomping grounds!

NATHAN:

Terrific. Can't wait!

Nathan kisses her ear. He looks confused, sticks his finger

behind her ear, and pulls it out with a dab of shaving cream

on it.

NATHAN:

Shaving cream?

LILA:

I don't think so.

(beat)

Why?

CUT TO:

INT. CAR - MORNING

Nathan drives. He's dressed in spanking new, freshly starched

safari clothes, big shiny new hiking boots. Lila sits in the

front passenger seat. She is dressed in a costume identical

to Nathan's, but, as opposed to Nathan, she seems awkward in

it. She fidgets in it, straightens it, sighs, comes to terms

with it, and looks dreamily out the window at the passing

trees. She is home. That's all that matters.

NATHAN:

Darling, did you bring the insect

repellent lotion?

LILA:

Yes, darling.

NATHAN:

(beat)

Oh, and the sun block?

LILA:

Of course.

NATHAN:

What SPF, sweetie?

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