Human Nature Page #3

The congressmen are shamed: they look down, they take notes,

they mumble instructions to the assistants seated behind

them.

CUT TO:

EXT. FOREST - DAY

An adult Puff and his now older father sit on the forest

floor and pick bugs off each other and eat them.

PUFF (V.O.)

Until quite recently I believed myself

to be an ape, although I didn't know

specifically what type. Apes don't

think in terms of type.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY

Puff testifies.

PUFF:

It might be argued, gentlemen, that

apes don't even know that they are

apes. In retrospect, however, I'd

say that I was a pygmy chimp.

Puff holds up an illustration of a pygmy chimp. Several

reporters run from the room: a scoop!

CUT TO:

INT. WHITE SPACE - DAY

Nathan talks to nobody in particular.

NATHAN:

I have to say I always hated apes.

Of course I don't any longer. I don't

even know what hate means now. But

while alive, I hated apes. I blame

my parents. I mean, I don't blame

them. I don't know what blame is,

really, anymore, but I think they

influenced me in my ape-hating

tendencies.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. ZOO - DAY

Faded colors. Ten year old Nathan in a bow tie and shortpanted

suit walks along with his uptight, British parents.

They arrive at the ape pen. Nathan is excited. He jumps up

and down. The apes jump up and down also.

NATHAN AS A BOY:

Monkeys! Look, mama, monkeys!

MOTHER:

(clamping down on his

shoulder)

Nathan, those are not monkeys. Those

are apes. Mountain Gorillas to be

precise.

There is a commotion off screen. Two uniformed attendants

drag Puff's father, straitjacketed and kicking and screaming

like an ape, past Nathan and his parents.

PUFF'S FATHER

I am not a human being! I am an

animal!

Nathan, his father, and the other zoo patrons look on

curiously, a little frightened. Nathan's mother chooses to

ignore it.

MOTHER:

And furthermore... Tell him, Harold.

FATHER:

(distracted)

Uh...

(then by rote)

We must never act like apes, son.

For you see, The ape is our closest

biological relative -- specifically

the pygmy chimp.

(holds up the same

illustration of a

pygmy chimp that

Puff showed the

congressional

committee)

A single chromosome separates us.

But you know what truly separates us

from the apes, what makes us better

than apes?

NATHAN AS A BOY:

No, papa. What?

FATHER:

Culture. Civilization. Refinement.

If we do not have these as humans,

then we might as well be living in

pens and throwing our feces about,

masturbating in public...

(beat, a reverie)

...sniffing red swollen female rump...

MOTHER:

Enough, Harold.

CUT TO:

INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT

Lila lights a new cigarette with her spent one. She drags.

LILA:

Oh, I had sexual urges. I had the

urge to merge, officers. Inside I

was 100% Grade A female.

(laughs derisively)

But what self-loathing I felt! Who

would have someone as repulsive, as

unladylike as me? I did everything I

could to shield the world from this

repulsiveness.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. COLLEGE DORM BATHROOM - DAY

Stockings hang over the shower curtain rod. The window shade

is drawn. Towels are stuffed in the space under the door. A

twenty year old naked Lila is covered with shaving cream,

face to feet. She is shaving. There is a pounding on the

door.

FEMALE ROOMMATE (O.S.)

Lila, what are you doing in there? I

need to get ready for my date.

LILA:

Nothing! I'll be out in a minute!

The door opens. Lila freezes.

FEMALE ROOMMATE:

Look, I'll just...

(stops in her tracks

when she sees Lila)

What the...?

Lila is mortified.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. DORM ROOM - A BIT LATER

Lila is sitting in her bathrobe on her bed and staring out

the window. There is a bit of shaving cream behind her ear.

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