Humboldt County Page #5

Are you kidding me?

- Were those all yours?

- What are you f***in' doing?

- Max, I had no idea.

- Stay the f*** away!

- Get out of here!

- Max, I didn't know.

Get the f*** out of here!

Stay away from my f***ing plants!

- JACK:
How many does he have?

- Sorry?

Don't be sorry.

Just answer the question.

How many does he have?

How many?

Sit down, Pete.

This herb has been part

of human civilization

Since before it was civilized.

Hemp fibers have been found

in archaeological digs

in the Asiatic communities in China

dating back 4,000 B.C.E.

Taoist monks in the fifth century

thought it could tell the future.

But it is currently illegal.

I've lost too many

friends over it,

Good people-- not thieves,

murderers,

just people like you and me.

Since the Mexicans have been

coming across the border,

the Feds have shifted

their resources to them,

their cartels growing plants

in the thousands,

armed guards, guns.

Compared to them we're nothing

more than mom-and-pop shops.

But that does not mean

that we can do what we want.

It's a foolish man

who underestimates his enemies.

It is a stupid man

who underestimates the Feds.

Listen.

The lark, herald of the dawn.

Let's go greet it, shall we?

We live off the grid,

harmoniously within

the systems of the earth,

and we endeavor to improve

this beautiful place

in which we temporarily--

temporarily

reside.

And from this life,

we farm pot.

But after all of these years,

I have 20 plants total,

enough to get by.

Any more than that and

you are tempting fate.

People may say I'm a criminal,

And yeah--

but I live a life

without greed,

a life where I protect

my family--

every single one of them,

even you, Peter.

And if we allow greed

to enter into our lives

then we've destroyed the very

thing that we came out here for.

Why did you come here?

Salvation.

I'm telling you this

to make you aware

of the vast consequences

of what you may or

may not be involved in

on this, your little

summer sojourn in the woods.

I found this on my land.

The Feds are here.

Somebody has been sloppy,

and now everything changes.

What does that mean?

- What are you gonna do?

- Whatever I have to.

So I'm gonna ask you one more time,

How many plants does Max have?

Jack, you're not

going to believe it,

but that goddamn deer

ate up the rest of my roses.

What are the two of

you talking about?

Oh, Peter here is

just indulging an old man

as he prattles on about

the world of physics.

Well, let's eat.

( whoops )

Charity!

I didn't know.

Why didn't you tell me?

Tell me again.

What did you say to Jack?

I didn't say anything to Jack.

- You didn't say anything?

- I don't understand why--

you should have told me

about the other patch.

- I mean, I'm part of it.

- I was gonna tell you, man,

Right around harvest,

but I'm glad I didn't

because you would have

f***ing robbed me anyway!

- Right?

- Wow.

F***!

Wow, you've never trusted anybody.

- ( siren wails )

- Shut up!

( radio sqwawking )

Where are the plants, Peter?

Your friend shouldn't have

bought all that equipment

in one place.

MAX:
( muffled )

F*** you!

PETER:
You know we're lucky

they let us go.

MAX:
They didn't get what they needed.

They didn't get the plants.

That's why they let us go.

Apparently, miraculously,

you didn't tell them where they were.

So they gave us a warning.

What are you doing?

( gunshots )

- Who did you shoot?

- Shh!

( c*cks rifle )

( whispering )

Grab a flashlight.

What? Jack?

Oh my God, he killed a Fed.

- ( whispering ) Jack!

- Peter.

( screams )

Shh! Stop making so goddamn much noise!

- Light here.

- It's a deer.

It's a deer!

Oh!

- Oh, you shot a deer!

- Yes.

Twice. In the head.

Wow.

- ( slices )

- ( blood running )

Ew.

( whispering ) Why are you cleaning it now?

Because it's not deer season.

So?

If I leave it out,

somebody will see it.

It'll attract attention.

That's not good,

especially not now.

Shine the light so I can see.

What's that?

That, my dear boy,

is a rose.

Here, try some of this steak, Hadley.

Steak?

Jack's a master chef.

- It's not steak.

- It's all in the preparation.

So how's things?

Good.

Is there anything you want to tell me?

The international dialing code for Antarctica

is 672.

The Feds are here, you know.

I know.

I just want to make sure

That there's no reason

for them to stick around.

Are you gonna be a father now, Jack?

Come on, Max. I can't

help you if you're gonna--

Maybe, Dr. Truman,

( whispers )

maybe the Feds are here

because they're really

dying to get their hands

over all that research

you've been doing. Right?

All that stuff you've been

tooling over all these years,

right, Jack?

Maybe they're dying to get

their f***ing hands all over it.

Why do you always

gotta be the little sh*t?

Oh, Charlie, what are we

gonna do with him?

Who's Charlie?

Oh, Charlie's

my first husband,

Maxie's father.

Max's father?

- I thought Jack was--

- No.

We all came up here together,

Charlie, Jack and I.

Charlie used to work

with Jack at U.C.L.A.

We were friends.

We were all friends.

They made quite a pair,

he and Jack--

Charlie's philosophies

and Jack's science--

Except when they were drinking,

Which was more than when they weren't.

Charlie desperately wanted to quit.

And when it got bad, Charlie

would have these seizures

where he needed a drink.

And then he found some Ecstasy

from some of the kids

out on the campground.

It was the blue pill

with the A on it

and it started off awesome.

It was wonderful stuff.

And he started taking these

pills instead of drinking

and for two months

he stopped cold turkey.

Jack couldn't believe it.

He told me he, "he did it.

Charlie did it."

We thought this place,

the life we live, it saved him.

And then one day Charlie was

having one of these seizures

and he really needed a drink

and we didn't have

any more of these pills left.

And he's yelling at me

to get him something

and I can't find anything.

And then finally I look

in a drawer and I find

a half tab of acid

which was really old,

and I said, "just

take it, Charlie."

It'll just take you

to a different realm."

And so he took it and went off.

But after a while he came back

and he said, "I don't know

what the f*** you gave me.

Every cell in my body is hurting."

And I said, "oh no, let's

go to the hospital."

He said, "no, I'm gonna take a ride."

He always liked to drive.

It would calm him down.

So he left.

And that night, 2:00

in the morning,

something woke me up.

It startled me to wake up at 2:00

'cause I usually don't.

And they said that's when he died.

That's when he went over the cliff,

Like Wile E. Coyote.

I didn't know what to tell Max,

So I just told him what

Charlie always told him--

not to take it all

too seriously.

Later, we all went up

to Charlie's favorite spot

looking out over the cove,

Jack, Maxie, and me.

I was so furious,

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