Humboldt County Page #4

You've got to sh*t outside.

Step outside the dome and sh*t.

We do it here all the time.

It's no big deal.

The outhouse is busy.

Just sh*t outside.

Will that take a long time?

Yes, Peter, it will

take a long time,

which is exactly why I'm--

Jack, we're talking about

colonizing a f***ing planet here.

It's a process.

the world wasn't built in a day, Jack.

It's a process.

( laughs )

( laughs )

Over time,

multiple generations,

it will make a difference.

Couldn't you just

poo inside the dome

and have plumbing pipes

pump the poo outside?

He said "poo"!

Yes. Yes you could.

You're a part of the project,

Peter. You're in.

Yes! That's great!

You've been talking

about Mars for years.

This boy listens for one minute

and alters the entire plan.

Oh, that's a great idea.

Okay, here's part two of the plan.

You tell people, okay,

you can come to Mars,

be one of the first to colonize it,

But you have to work long enough

For a certain amount

of time to be determined,

and then you get a plot of land.

You get to own a part of Mars.

Anybody can do this?

- What about criminals?

- We'll allow criminals.

What exactly is a criminal?

Mars will be a place for people

to have an entirely new start,

totally fresh. Wouldn't

that be just lovely?

We're not gonna

f*** this one up!

We'd probably not allow

murderers and rapists,

but if you just stole

a little something--

a candy bar, a kidney--

ROSIE:
Mars would welcome you!

The woman is out of her mind,

out of her mind.

I'm gonna tell you this:

If that woman

ever gets to Mars,

you can forget about the planet.

We will have to just move on to Venus.

Well, Charlie used to love the idea.

But now, this one right here--

That's a whole different story.

This one should be the leader

of the expedition.

What do you say?

Mayor of Mars.

Well, I accept.

# you may not romance #

# or try to be smooth #

# but that don't

matter to me #

# it's the loving I feel

when you look in my eyes #

# there's no

other love but you #

# when you're

far away, love #

# you still

somehow stay, love #

# of all mysteries

above, love #

# it's you I keep

thinking of, love #

# others may try

to Loan me their hearts #

# but they just

would never do #

# you've got my

tender soul on a string #

# there's no

other love but you #

# happy to be lazy #

# dreaming on that hazy #

# day we'll be

pushing daisies #

# me and my little crazy #

# time tumbles on #

# memories fade #

# but this day

will always be true #

# oh, I am your gal #

# and you are my man #

# there's no

other love but you. #

MAX:
Yeah! ( claps )

- Very nice.

- ( all clapping )

# sleep don't visit #

# so I choke on sun... #

Esophagogastro-

duodenoscopy.

- ( bong bubbling )

- # the backs of my eyes #

# hum with things

I've never done #

# sheets are swaying #

# from an old clothesline #

# like a row of

captured ghosts #

# over old dead grass #

Esophagogastro-

Duodenoscopy!

# welcome home. #

Are we sitting idly?

What?

What we're doing.

Right now.

Would you consider it

sitting idly?

I suppose.

My father never let me sit idly.

Must be a productive

f***ing guy, your dad.

Yeah.

My mother--

Couldn't stand it and

she left when I was five.

So--

Yeah, he'd literally

say that.

"You cannot sit idly.

There's too much life

to live, James."

- James?

- It's my middle name.

Peter James.

My middle name is the.

I'm serious.

No you're not.

Your parents named you

Max the Truman?

No, my given middle name

is Forrest,

But I changed it, legally.

When I was 11 years old

I was obsessed with

Alexander the Great,

couldn't leave it alone.

So I told them I was old

enough to make my own decisions

and god damn if they

didn't let me do it.

- That's awesome.

- No it's not.

It's f***in' stupid.

They should have told me

to shut the f*** up.

- ROSIE:
This is very good.

- Mmm-hmm. Very good.

Your recipe.

So, are we enjoying our summer here

Amongst the lotus eaters, captain?

Bob and Steve is here.

So, when this is over, what next?

- When this is over?

- Mm-hmm.

Hey, ho, professor!

- You're a professor?

- Was.

- Of what?

- Physics, of course.

Those U.C.L.A. fascists still

wish Jack would come back

and publish the work

that he and Charlie--

U.C.L.A.? I go--

went-- to U.C.L.A.

University life is a

complete distraction.

We needed isolation

and a place to focus.

When this work is finished,

the whole world will change.

And you just left and came up here?

When?

F***, it's been 25 years.

We needed to get away from stuff.

Who wants more?

- Me.

- Me.

I'm not staying here.

I'm not giving up.

I mean, this is just temporary.

- You tell 'em, Pete.

- I mean, who does that--

Seriously-- just abandons the world,

Comes here, just stays?

Jack, Rosie, you.

- Yeah.

- Also me.

And other than that,

just about everybody,

Everybody up here.

How'd you end up here?

Same as you--

followed a girl.

I didn't really

follow a girl, my friend.

I didn't really follow

the same girl then.

Wait.

Y-y-you mean Bogart?

Y-y-you mean Bogart?

Really?

No sh*t?

- You too?

- Huh-uh.

I'm native.

Hey, Sophie, you by yourself tonight?

'Course not.

- Where's she going?

- ( smooches )

You should just

f***ing bark at her, Steve.

( chuckles )

All right, let's get

the f*** out of here.

I'm not f***ing going.

Wai-- wh--

Those are the f***ers that

probably robbed our patch.

Those guys?

You think so?

I didn't tell anybody but Sophie

where that f***ing patch was.

- You gonna say anything?

- I'm gonna say something.

You're not gonna f***ing say anything.

When I'm ready. I could say

something now if I wanted to.

- That's just wrong.

- I will say it when I'm ready.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Did you steal their plants?

Yeah, Skipper, I'm talking to you.

Did you steal their plants?

- He asked you a question.

- I'm serious,

Mr. Lumberjack man.

Now, I know you were

raised in a barn,

but you can't just go around

stealing people's livelihood,

because, you know, it's cowardly.

- Hey!

- What the f***?

- ( laughing )

- ( whooping )

PETER:

...The perfect argument against cloning.

- No no no, look--

- Whoah, stop, stop.

Shut the f*** up.

I was up here the other day.

There is something

you gotta see. Come here.

Shh.

- Shh!

- Shh!

- ( whispering ) Oh my God.

- What the f*** is this?

Shh! Keep quiet.

PETER:
How many are there?

Must be hundreds here, man.

Some lucky f***ing bastard is set.

We should take a few.

- F***, you think so?

- Why not? It'll save our asses.

There's so many here I don't

think anyone would notice.

All right,

let's f***ing do it.

Hey, why is there a sleeping bag here?

( gunshot )

Gun! Gun! Go! Go!

STEVE:
I can't f***ing see!

I can't f***ing see, man!

( gunshot )

BOB:

Shut the f*** up! Go!

F***! F***!

Downhill!

- Let's go!

- Come on!

( man screams )

What the f***?

- What the f***?

- What was that huge patch?

What the f*** are you doing?

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