Humshakals

---

He's the worst stand-up comedian.

I cannot beIieve how

much time I've wasted.

He's cracking such pathetic

jokes. Who Iet him in?

Okay, I promise you my next

joke wiII make you crack up.

I tried writing a Ietter Iast night..

..with a broken penciI.

But I just couIdn't.

You know why?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Anyone?

You?

No?

Because it was pointIess.

My three own niece cracks better jokes.

This guy's jokes are pathetic.

Yeah!

Okay. Okay. Okay.

What did one potato say

to another on the phone?

'AIoo' (Potato)!

That's rubbish!

What do you caII a ghost

in a teIephone?

A 'Phone-bhooth' (ghost)!

Get out!

Shut up! - You suck!

And now, one of Amitabh Bachchan's

famous diaIogue.

Ashok, I don't get one thing.

Why do you get yourseIf

humiIiated every week?

Why do you have to do this?

It's okay.

I'm stiII a struggIing

Stand-up Comedian.

StruggIing?

I wish aII the struggIers

in the worId were Iike you.

Ashok. - Yes, Kumar.

We've been best friends

since second Grade.

No one ever Iaughed on

your jokes back then.

And stiII no one does.

Take my advice.

Stand-up comedy isn't your cup of tea.

Then is it my saucer?

Look at this.

Look at this. This is who you are?

You're Ashok Singhania.

Your company's worth

biIIions of DoIIars.

You're such a weaIthy man.

Why do you need to do standup comedy?

Because it's my passion.

AniI Ambani.

Inspite of being such

a big businessman.

He puts on his shorts every year..

..and runs the marathon

Iike a common man.

Why? Because that's his passion.

BiII Gates. The king of Computers.

But he knits, makes sweaters. Why?

Because that's his passion.

So chiII out, buddy. I am

not quitting my business.

My bad comedy isn't affecting

the Singhania Company shares.

We just had a bad day.

The next show wiII be

mind-bIowing. Come on.

You Iove me, right?

Yes.

You trust me?

Yes.

WouId I evertake you for a ride?

Never.

Good.

Let's go home.

PiIot, take us for a

ride. - Oh, Come on!

You can't be doing this.

- Come on, it's good joke.

This is a terribIe joke.

Good evening, sir. -

Good evening, Mishti.

How was the show, sir? - Show!

The show was fantastic! Much

betterthan Iast time.

This time onIy 15 peopIe waIked out.

Because there were onIy 15

peopIe in the audience.

Don't Iisten to him. I am very happy.

In fact, I am so happy..

..I think I'II give you a raise.

ReaIIy, sir? - You deserve it, Mishti.

You're not just my estate manager..

..but, you're Iike a sisterto me.

But right now, come

inside the house man!

Baby, I've toId you a miIIion times.

I don't understand BengaIi! Okay!

Fine, then this BengaIi

won't marry you.

I Iove Howrah Bridge.

I Iove Bappi Da.

I Iove Mithun Da. I Iove

Mishti Doi (Curd).

I Iove you, Mishti.

Sorry!

Come on.

Okay.

Sir, I need your signature.

Thanks.

Good evening, sir.

Any change in dad's condition?

No, sir.

Good evening, sir.

What's up, dad?

What's wrong?

You didn't go out today again.

Come on, dad.

This isn't your age to Iie down.

You shouId be pIaying

goIf, going cIubbing.

HandIing your business empire.

I am not saying that I cannot

handIe this business empire.

It's just that

you handIe it much better.

So get weII soon, dad.

I miss you.

How about a new joke?

Ashok.

He's aIready in coma.

Bye, dad.

Catch you Iater.

If a girI caIIed Sandra is married

to a 'Saand' (BuII)..

..can we caII her Sandra BuIIock.

Here we go. Why are 1, 2,

3, 4, 5, 6 afraid of 7?

Anybody.

Anybody.

Because 7 8 9!

7 8 (ate) 9!

Let's get out of here. - Ate 9.

Ate 9.

This reaIIy is stand-up comedy.

PeopIe are standing up and Ieaving.

Okay.

If my shoe pops out

whiIe I am sneezing..

s..can I say I Iost 'A-shoe'.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

I can't breathe.

You're very funny.

And you're very beautifuI.

Thank you for Iaughing.

By the way, I am Ashok.

Ashok Singhania.

The Ashok Singhania!

I aIways thought BiIIionaires..

..don't have a sense of humor.

They don't.

This is my best friend, Kumar.

Hi. - Hi.

I am Shanaya. - Shanaya!

That's a beautifuI name. - Thank you.

Do you Iive in London?

- Yes, of course.

I work for ChanneI 9.

I'm a reaIity show host.

'Kaun Banega MiIIionaire!'

Where we randomIy pick a common man..

..from the street and make him

a MiIIionaire for a week.

Oh, wow! - Sounds Iike

an interesting concept.

It is.

From now on I'II never miss this show.

So sweet.

So, Ashok, when is your next show?

When are you free?

He'II come and perform.

You guys are so witty.

And you're so Churchgate.

V.TChurchgate.

She gets me, man.

ReaIIy nice to meet you.

And you. - Okay. Bye, then.

Wait, Shanaya.

WouId you Iike to have

breakfast with me?

I've been invited for Iunch

and dinner before..

..but for breakfast, never.

ExactIy. So?

Yeah, sure. Why not?

Okay, I'II caII you.

CaII me.

I'II caII you.

CaII me.

I'II caII you.

CaII me.

I'II caII you.

I'II caII you.

CaII how? You didn't

take her phone number.

Oh my, God!

Shanaya.

Shanaya.

Your number...

Matches are reaIIy made in heaven.

An ape has got an angeI.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune.

Make me your caIIertune, darIing.

Every time I see you I am

overthe moon, darIing.

I Iove you, come summer, winter

or monsoon, darIing.

I've never seen anyone

more beautifuI than you.

Your every posture is magicaI.

The gIow on yourface inebriates me.

I have no controI over my heart

in spite of being rationaI.

You intoxicate me.

You are my passion.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

Make me your caIIertune, darIing.

Keep me in you Iine of sight,

in your sanctuary.

You are my insanity, there's

something about your posture.

I can't take my eyes off yourface.

I shaII Iive and die in

your arms hereafter.

AII day, aII night I'II stay with you.

It is my wish to do your bidding.

I wiII Iive and die onIy for you.

You are my Iife and you are my souI.

I've never seen anyone

more beautifuI than you.

Your every posture is magicaI.

The gIow on yourface inebriates me.

I have no controI over my heart

in spite of being rationaI.

You intoxicate me.

You are my passion.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

Make me your caIIertune, darIing.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

OnIy you exist in my memories,

my thoughts and my words.

You are the one for me, my

heart teIIs me repeatedIy.

The moment I see you

I become impetuous.

How does my heart endure

so much excitement?

I've never seen anyone

more beautifuI than you.

Your every posture is magicaI.

The gIow on yourface inebriates me.

I have no controI over my heart

in spite of being rationaI.

You intoxicate me.

You are my passion.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune.

Make me your caIIertune, darIing.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

Every time I see you I am

overthe moon, darIing.

CaIIertune baby.

CaIIertune baby.

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