Hunky Dory

Right. So we're gonna tell stories.

Yeah? You all got a story.

Something from you, from your heart.

OK?

Who's gonna go first?

Anyone? No?

- All right, you go first, miss.

- Oh, God. I don't...

- Oh, go on, please.

- All right.

Once upon a time

there was a little girl,

and she lived with her mum and her dad

and brother in a small town in Wales,

and she always dreamed

of becoming a princess.

So when she grew up,

she ran away to the big city

and she went to the princess college.

There is such a place.

And she worked really, really hard,

and all her dreams came true.

And she kissed a lot of frogs.

And, anyway, she woke up one day, and

she realised that she wasn't very happy.

So she decided to go home, to teach.

- And what's the moral of the story?

- Be careful what you wish for?

Yes. Yeah.

Being a princess sucks.

Right, come on, who's got a story?

Davy, you've got a story.

OK, round two.

Let's start with artists that we love.

We're gonna make a list and then

we're gonna narrow it down. So... Go on.

- David Bowie.

- Bowie. What else?

- Pink Floyd.

- Floyd.

Led Zep. Sabbath. Deep Purple. Rush.

- ELO. ELP. Uh...

- Thank you, Hoople, that's enough.

Dena.

- The Ramones.

- The Ramones.

- Iggy Pop.

- Iggy P. Vicki?

- 10cc.

- 10cc. Stella?

- Beach Boys.

- Yeah. Kenny?

Slade.

I'm putting it down.

Even if we cross it off.

Right, in this hall,

the normal rules don't apply.

Everything out there doesn't count.

Forget about it.

In here, you show up on time

and you can do what you like.

You can explore what you like.

Ideas, emotion, that's the idea.

'Cause I wanna put on a show

that William Shakespeare

and David Bowie would be proud of.

And that you would be proud of,

most importantly.

Are you in? Yes?

- Yeah.

- Yes?

- Yeah. Yes.

- Yes? Kenny? Yes?

- Yes, miss.

- Good. Excellent.

It's a god-awful small affair

To the girl with the mousy hair

But her mummy is yelling, "No"

And her daddy has told her to go

But her friend is nowhere to be seen

Where are the others?

- Where is everyone?

- It's Friday.

- Well, Stella said she'd be here.

- Well, she's not, is she?

- Miss, I've gotta go to training.

- What?

- Rugby, miss. I got trials coming up.

- Oh, can't you wait a bit longer?

- No, miss, I promised.

- Right then, go. I need you on Monday.

What about me, miss?

It's Friday, I got a date.

- That's very funny.

- No, miss, it's not a joke.

Oh, come on, let's try it again.

Let's try it again.

Now, I want you to make it very

specific. And remember the quavers.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

It's a god-awful small affair

To the girl with the mousy hair

But her mummy is yelling, "No"

And her daddy has told her to go

- Miss Mae?

- Mr Thornley.

- Rehearsing on a Friday? Very keen.

- Two weeks to go.

- Beg your pardon?

- Two weeks to go!

Oh, well. "Tempest fugit", I suppose.

Everything going all right,

is it, generally?

- Yes, hunky-dory, Headmaster. I...

- Very good. It's just that I've

had the odd complaint.

Well, a small delegation, actually.

Um, issues of discipline came up

and a concern about language.

Language? What...?

Excuse me.

- What f***ing language?

- Hello?

- Oh, sh*t.

- Andy Dixon.

- Where are you going?

- Band practice, miss.

- For the gig, Monday.

- You're supposed to be

- at my rehearsals.

- I weren't in the bit you were doing,

miss, I don't think. Anyway, I gotta go,

the band are waiting for me.

Oh, right.

Well, where's everyone else?

Down the lido, miss.

It's Friday.

Keep the faith, miss.

"Down the lido, miss. It's Friday."

- Does anyone else want ice cream?

- No, ta.

You're f***ing...

Evan and Mandy James.

Dena Davies. Vicki Munro.

- Stella Jones.

- Oh, f***.

This is a final warning. OK.

Double rehearsals Monday.

Lunchtime and after school.

I want you all there on time.

- Hi, Kenny.

- Wanker.

F***ing wanker.

- Oi, oi!

- Oi, oi, Macca. Where have you been?

Killing Pakis.

Oh, Kenny boy here's only gone

and given in, in't he?

Going down Steady Eddie's

f***ing finally. Having a chop.

- Gonna be one of us, are you? Huh?

- Yeah, I'm ready. Yeah.

- Yeah? Well, come on then.

- Let's do it.

Martini. Cinzano.

Tia Maria. Anyone?

Anyone?

Oh, look at that.

Earth calling Tim.

Come in, Tim. Tim?

- Someone's drunk everything.

- I thought you were at rehearsals.

- So did I.

- Yeah, well, it is Friday, you mad cow.

- You've had 'em at it all week.

- Thank you, Tim.

- I thought you were on my side.

- Oh, I am, believe me.

You should hear what the rest

of them are saying.

- Oh, spare me the details.

- Mine was sh*t, by the way.

- Thanks for asking.

- Oh, sorry, love. How was your day?

Sh*t. Thanks for asking.

Oh... God, that Davy

can sing, though.

Yeah, and such dreamy eyes.

I love it when you take

an interest in my work.

I don't wanna sound like an alkie, but

I got some gin stashed in my wardrobe.

Oh, gin. That's just the taste

of disappointment, innit?

Well, why don't we do something

different tonight?

Why don't you show me

some of your old haunts?

Oh, they knocked most of them down.

Not so fast, man.

You've gotta look for the bubbles.

I'm trying to.

I'm trying to get it in.

Dad, there's no more clean shirts.

Well, your nan haven't been round,

have she?

- Yeah, well, I'm going out tonight.

- Look, spray some of that Brut on it.

- Always works.

- Oh, yeah. Great.

- Mam would have washed one for me.

- Anyway, you can be doing

your own laundry now.

Look, come here.

You gotta find the bubbles, see?

There, there she blows.

I thought you said mam

would be coming home by now.

Hello. Swansea 6-5-2-7.

- Stella. It's Davy.

- Oh, hi, Davy.

Hiya. What are you doing?

Nothing. What are you doing?

Nothing. Where were

you this afternoon?

Went down to the lido to cool off.

You were supposed to be in rehearsals.

Yeah, on a Friday.

So, uh... you still

wanna meet up tonight then?

- No. I... I can't.

- Stella. Please?

Look, we said we were

going to be friends.

Are you seeing someone else?

Stella?

F***.

- Have you heard from her?

- Oh, don't start, Mam. Right?

You know I don't wanna

talk about it, right?

- All right. OK.

- See you Tuesday.

- All right.

- Hi, Nan.

- Hiya, my old son, you all right?

- All right?

- Ta-ra, love.

- Ta-ra.

Hello, ladies.

- Beautiful night, innit?

- It's all right.

It's more beautiful now I've seen you.

- Get a load of this!

- Oi, oi, you f***ing wankers!

Enjoy your f***ing chips.

- All right, Kenny?

- All right.

- Nice haircut. What are you doing?

- Nothing much.

- What have you girls been doing?

- Nothing...

All right, girls? Stella.

Fancy a shag?

I don't think so.

- You slag.

- What's on your shoulder, Kenny?

Idiots.

You wanna hear what Macca's

been saying about you?

- I don't give a sh*t.

- Everyone thinks you're a poof.

F*** off, you dwarf.

What's he going on about now? Hmm?

Right, get the inner tube out.

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