Hunky Dory Page #5

He said I was his friend

Which came as some surprise

I spoke into his eyes

I thought you died alone

A long, long time ago

Oh, no, not me

I never lost control

You're face to face

With The Man Who Sold The World

I laughed and shook his hand

And made my way back home

I searched for form and land

For years and years I roamed

I gazed a gazely stare

At all the millions here

We must have died alone

A long, long time ago

Who knows?

Not me

We never lost control

You're face to face

With The Man Who Sold The World

Right. Prospero, Caliban.

Headmaster, you're on. Kenny.

From, uh, "What ho, slave."

Oh...

What ho, slave! Caliban.

Thou earth, thou! Fetch some wood.

There's wood enough already.

F*** off.

Yeah. Think it, don't say it, Kenny.

He's improvising.

He's just working it out.

I don't think the f-word

has any place in Shakespeare.

Well, it's actually very old,

the f-word.

- It's also very offensive.

- Well, so is Caliban.

- Boundaries, Miss Mae, boundaries.

- Yes, Headmaster.

Carry on. Thank you.

There's other business for thee, too.

Come here, tortoise.

This island's mine, by...

- Sycorax.

- F***!

- It's all right, go on.

- Sycorax, my mother,

which you stole from me,

uh, when you came first you stroked me.

Sh! Stop!

Just f*** off!

You're f***ing dead! And you!

- Pay no attention to him, please.

- Kenneth.

Look, don't you get it?

I never wanted to do this poxy musical

in the first place.

- I know, Kenny, just come back.

- Just f*** off, miss, will you!

Quiet!

"Feeling both the fury

and the passion of this sweet air."

Oh, hi. You look smart.

I'm just on my way home from work.

I was wondering if you'd fancy

going for a spin later like?

- Where to?

- Anywhere you fancy.

Have you ever heard of this place

called The Casablanca?

- No.

- It's this club I fancied going to.

Nightclub, sure. Why not?

I propose a toast...

...to groundbreaking, cutting-edge,

Shakespearean, concept rock operas.

- Did I leave anything out?

- No, I don't think so.

- Good. Come on, then.

- Right.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

Up your bum.

Ah. Ah, I gained a Prospero and

lost a Caliban. It's hardly a fair swap.

- Kenny might come back.

- No.

I think Lord Olivier is here to stay,

though. I...

"I thought I'd dress casual."

He's on my side, deep down.

Oh, my God,

who the hell can that be?

My God, who's that? You get it.

- No, I'm not going.

- I'll go.

Hello?

Davy. What are you doing up here?

I was on my way to my nan's.

She lives over in Briton Ferry.

Oh, right.

It's just... I come off my bike.

I think I got a puncture.

- Are you all right?

- I'm fine.

You wanna come in?

OK.

...always makes me want tequila.

- Looks crap.

- Come on, it sounds good.

- Want a drink?

- Yes, please.

- What kind of drink d'you want?

- I don't mind.

- What's all these?

- American imports.

There's no bar. There's no f***ing bar!

What are we doing here?

- It's good.

- It's not good, it's sh*t.

- It's good.

- It's not good, it's crap.

- Let's go somewhere else.

- Just leave it.

- What's your f***ing game?

- Get off me!

- Let me give you a lift home.

- Piss off.

Right. There you go.

You should be quite comfortable

on that settee.

Thanks.

It's going to be great. The show.

Yeah.

Listen, are you sure you don't

wanna phone your dad?

We don't have a phone.

Anyway, he's working nights.

OK, well, sleep tight, then.

Just get lost, will you!

Stella, you OK?

Are you all right?

Davy?

You all right?

- What's wrong?

- Um...

Nothing.

School tomorrow.

Hello.

Hello?

- All right?

- Hi.

- Viv about?

- Through there.

- Ah, Timothy.

- All right?

- Just brought these round for her.

- Yeah, fine.

Ah, Davy, you're up.

I didn't wanna knock.

- How was the sofa?

- Uh, OK.

This is Rhys, by the way.

Viv's... Miss Mae's brother.

You're one of her pupils then, are you?

- What are you doing here?

- That's nice.

On my way to work. I brought

that stuff you wanted, of dad's.

- Oh, OK.

- Shouldn't you be at school?

- Yeah.

- Bonjour.

I had the most

amazing dream last night.

I was making love to a man with a beard.

Hi.

I'm Sylvie. I'm French.

I am Rhys and I am Welsh.

- Hey, Hoople, are you OK?

- Yeah, I'm OK. You?

Yeah. See you later.

- What's going on?

- Oh, it's the school hall, miss.

It burnt down. We got a day off.

Christ!

Oh, no!

All clear now, love.

Oh, my God.

If I could have your

attention, please. Thank you.

Now, all classes are suspended

until the building

has been made safe.

Sporting events should go ahead

on the field,

but, uh, obviously

there will be no school show.

Otherwise, I think we should

do our best to get on with things

and get things back to normal

as soon as possible.

Now, I've just come off the telephone

to the police.

I reckon it was the wiring, Headmaster.

Those lights were dodgy

as sh*t anyway.

There was nothing wrong

with those lights.

- Headmaster, I have made a list...

- Oh, don't tell me.

Of all the nasty, little

troublemakers in the school.

Do you hate kids? I mean, is it all kids

or is it just the poor ones?

- Miss Mae, Vivienne...

- And I've underlined in red

all those

who have a history of delinquency.

- Miss Valentine, please.

- Christ, do you ever stop, woman?!

What do you wanna do? You wanna

feel the bumps on their heads next?

Someone has burnt half

the f***ing school down!

- Language, please.

- So let us stop this petty, liberal

procrastination and take control

of the situation.

We are fiddling while Rome burns!

Action must be taken!

You see, that's it.

"Petty, liberal procrastination."

That is what you think

self-expression is.

And God forbid that you would ever go

the extra mile to find out

what those kids are actually good at!

Well, it is no surprise

that the fire started where it did.

What is that supposed to mean,

you condescending cow?!

- Please, ladies, please!

- It is perfectly obvious!

Please! Now, if you'd just listen to me.

I've just been on the telephone

to the police.

They've informed me that

as of half an hour ago,

they've taken in Kenneth Loder

for questioning.

Miss Mae.

I even f***ed up being a teacher.

Maybe being a teacher

isn't as easy as it looks.

Anyway, who says you f***ed it up?

Everybody says you're a great teacher.

- Who says I'm a great teacher?

- Your two nutty friends.

It meant such a lot to me, this show.

I thought it meant a lot

to them, too, you know.

Half the time he couldn't even be

bothered to turn up to rehearsals.

That is what kids do. They skive off.

It's their job.

I never did that.

You know your trouble, don't you?

You have got high expectations.

Whereas I have always had

low expectations,

which is why I never disappoint myself.

You should try it sometime.

- Lowering your expectations.

- I don't wanna end up like you.

- Two chips, please, Mrs Wong.

- Bloody fantastic.

"Hi, Hoople", she said, "see you later."

And now there won't be

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