Hurlyburly Page #10

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"a happening...

"that is not expected,

foreseen, or intended.

"Two... an unfortunate

occurrence or mishap...

"sudden fall, collision...

"usually resulting

in physical injury."

It just repeats basically.

And "destiny" we have...

"The inevitable or necessary

succession of events.

"What will necessarily happen

to any person or thing."

So...

if you die in a happening...

that is not foreseen, expected,

or intended...

you understand the necessary...

and inevitable succession

of events.

F*** him.

How many letters?

Oh, right, the f***in' anagram.

This is exciting.

I've never been involved...

with a being

from another planet before.

Twelve and fifty-four.

Mickey, at the very least...

we owe him the best we can

to understand what he wanted.

Nobody has to f***ing

believe it, all right?

But... OK, 12 and 54,

that's interesting.

No, it's not interesting, Eddie.

It's bullshit...

because we both know

he did it on purpose...

so it was no goddamn accident,

and if it was no accident...

then this note

is categorically...

definitively irrelevant.

Then how did he get there?

Exactly how

did he get to the point...

where in his own mind

he could do it on purpose?

That's what I'm trying

to figure out.

It's not that big a deal.

That's the f***in' truth.

You make an adjustment, Eddie.

You shift

your point of view a little...

and what was horrible looks OK.

All the necessary information...

that might deter you

gets locked away.

Little gremlins,

they divert the good thoughts...

so you don't hear them.

You just hear the bad thoughts,

which at this point...

are convincing you

they're a good idea.

You get an idea, that's all.

You don't understand

the scope of it.

You lose the sc...

All right, so there you are.

Your foot's on the gas,

you're flying. So far, so good.

Road, trees, radio.

What's a little flick

of the steering wheel?

An inch's rotation?

What is that?

An inch.

So you do it.

But with that, what?

You've gone beyond

what you can come back from.

You have handed over

control now.

It's gravity

in this big machine...

which is a car, only

it's not even a car anymore.

It's this hunk of metal

rearranging itself...

according to the laws

of physics.

Force and resistance,

stress and reaction...

heat, friction...

collapse.

And then you're gone.

Who knows where?

I tried to warn him, you know.

She was a snake.

She was out to undermine...

whatever little bit of faith

he had in himself.

I saw it coming.

She had to see it coming.

Who, Susie?

They're f***ing ghouls, Mickey.

They eat our hearts.

You don't know

what you're saying.

I do.

I know you think

you know what you're saying...

but you're not saying it.

I don't know what I mean,

but I know what I'm saying.

Is that what you mean?

Right. But no one knows

what anything means, right?

It's not like anybody

knows that.

So at least I know

I don't know what I mean...

which is better

than most people.

They probably think

they know what they mean...

not just what

they think they mean.

Do you feel that, Mickey?

About death?

That when it comes,

you're just going along...

in this ongoing goddamn inner...

...in which you understand

this or that...

and you tell yourself about it.

Then it just ricochets off...

and cuts off...

mid something, mid realization.

Oh, I under... blam!

Gone.

Comatose, dead.

You think that's how it is?

Well, as it turns out,

I am free tonight.

Yeah. Absolutely.

Give me about 15 minutes.

Hey, you know,

funerals, sex, death.

I'm gonna go out and play.

You should go to bed, Eddie.

Take care of yourself.

Phil would want you

to get your rest.

Where do you get

the goddamn cynicism...

the goddamn scorn

to speak his name...

let alone speak for him?

Eddie, is everything my fault?

What did you ever do

but mock him and put him down?

Why don't you relent? I beg you.

No. You're not saying...

you ever did one good thing

for him.

One helpful thing!

No, Eddie,

what I'm saying is that...

unlike you...

I never lied to him.

You never loved him, either.

Right, Eddie. Good taste does,

no doubt, deprive me...

of a great many things.

No guts!

No originality! No guts!

You know you want this goddamn,

ultramodern...

post-hip,

f***ing comprehensive...

explanation of everything...

By which you uncover

the preceding events...

which determine

the following events...

but you're not gonna find it.

Says you!

You want to believe

that if you do...

or don't do

certain things now...

certain other things

will or won't happen...

down the road accordingly.

You want to parlay

this finely tuned circuitry...

you've got for a brain...

into some form

of major participation...

with the divine conglomerate...

but all you're really

gonna do...

is drive yourself

and everyone around you...

f***ing nuts!

I'm trying to level out,

all right?

I got to cool out,

but not tonight.

Not tonight!

I got a history lecture

in progress, man.

The loads are humming.

I'm picking up everything.

I got the radar screens

in full rotation.

I'm picking up

the coast-to-coast flights...

and Phil is sending me messages.

He's got some complaints,

you know?

About the great beyond.

I got to cut the levels

of distortion.

I got to modulate the volume!

To whatever extent this f***in'

torment of yours is over...

what's-her-name, Darlene...

believe me, she's not worth it.

That move you made...

when you gave her up

for her own good... ohh...

that was genius.

Whatever little prayer

I had was gone.

She had you down as some form

of totally unique...

altruistic phenomenon...

instead of the fact...

that you had

a low opinion of her...

and all you really wanted...

was to f***

that little bubble brain...

Artie brought by for us.

Yeah. So what?

So you're no better off than me.

Just slightly.

You have no feelings at all!

No, Eddie. You know what?

I just don't have your feelings.

That's all.

I have my own.

And you know what?

They get me by.

So what kind of friendship

is this?

Adequate.

Good night.

Something terrible's going on,

Mickey.

These are dark times.

You know,

people have been saying that...

since the beginning of time.

You know, forget about it.

That doesn't mean

forget about it.

Anyway, it's not time

that's dark.

It's just you, you know?

It's just you!

F*** you.

Why don't you wait up for Phil,

why don't you, Eddie?

Wouldn't that be great if Phil

came by to keep you company?

Wouldn't that be great?

I'm sure he will...

F***.

...Clinton officials hope,

is in how you do it.

The president

is reportedly planning...

a two-step process...

...squad cars, a police van...

and a lifeguard vehicle

were burned by the mob.

...was like a 35-yard penalty.

Now we got to have

a drive going. Big play here...

...Fifty five-year-old mother

Josefa Begillos...

lived downstairs.

Emilio, Angeles,

and his family...

we're talking escape velocity.

The high court

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