I.Q.

First, you should find out what

is the essential nature of the universe.

Is the universe an inherently

irrational place, random and chaotic?

Chipmunk, your spoon.

Your spoon, it's on the floor.

- Are you ready to order?

- Yes, the usual, please.

No, I'll have a cup of coffee

and a corn muffin, please.

Darling, that is your usual.

- Well, I'll have that, then, thank you.

- OK.

- Aha!

- What?

It loses 11,000 molecules

per square centimetre, per second.

- What does?

- The comet.

Now, which one of these

do you like best?

- Is this a personality test?

- It's a sort of surprise.

- They're all the same.

- No, look...

That's aquamarine,

that's blue-green and that's algae.

At the atomic level,

there's no such thing as colour.

Though they did do that study

in Belgium, or was it Denmark...

- Babbling.

- Babbling!

The point was... What was the point?

Since protons are so much smaller

than light waves...

Algae, thank you.

Since protons are smaller

than light waves,

how could they ever see it to begin with?

Oh, James!

Or is there a fundamental order

underlying all things?

Hey, Captain Marvel. Shazam!

Thanks. I was just reading

about Boyd's Comet.

- Boyd's what?

- Comet, like in the sky.

It's gonna be here soon.

We'll be able to see it.

Know why a comet's tail

always points away from the sun?

- Wanna know?

- No.

It's not a tail at all.

It's bits of gas that the sun lights up.

We earthlings

will keep that in mind.

Kinda like a 500-mile-long Jersey torch.

Wow!

It must be true!

The fact remains that certain events

are strictly accidental.

What fact?

Oh, my! Look at the time.

No problem.

It's because it's spring. Everything

goes through upheaval in the spring.

Come on, you little b*tch!

- Sounds like business.

- MG TF Roadster.

- Austin Healey.

- Cadillac Coupe.

- Buck.

- You're on.

- Intake valve.

- Distributor cap.

Busted muffler.

Are we all victims

of some comic cosmic accident,

or is there a grand design?

Oh, what luck!

- TC Roadster.

- That's a TF.

Looks like a couple of college swells.

You handle them, Ed.

Hi. What seems to be the problem?

Do you deal with British automobiles?

I don't want anyone just poking around

with a sharp stick.

All right if I look under the bonnet?

Well, at least he called it a bonnet.

So, that's the engine, huh?

I think we ought to go somewhere else.

- Intake valve, I'm telling you.

- Busted muffler.

That's your problem.

- You got no spark.

- What?

- You have no spark.

- Yes, I heard him.

But what does it mean?

Is it the generator, the coil?

It's hard to say. You have a Lucas type

four generator on a 12-volt system.

The British would rather

glue wood onto a dashboard

than get the electrical system right.

Fascinating.

But what is wrong with the car?

My guess is that your stroke is too short

and you're getting premature ignition.

- Does it ever feel that way?

- Like what?

Like the stroke is too short

and you're getting premature ignition.

I'm sure I don't know what you mean.

Could you fix it temporarily?

We're behind schedule.

I'll check with my boss. Don't go away.

- He seems nice enough.

- He's a troglodyte!

- Intake valve?

- Busted muffler?

- I'm gonna marry her.

- Who, the dame? That was fast.

- The car?

- Distributor cap.

I looked at her, she looked at me and...

It happened. You could feel it.

- Like death, but in a good way.

- He's screwy.

Pop! Pop, pop, pop! It was electric!

And then... Then I kissed her.

- You kissed a customer? When?

- In the future.

It was weird, like time and space

got mixed up. Like a Martian mind-meld.

- He's crackin' up.

- Stay away from the magazines.

No, you don't understand... The past,

present and future all went together.

I had kids with her, I could see the kids!

Two boys... No, three boys...

Excuse me! How long will all this take?

Well, that's up to you.

- It is?

- The car, you nut.

- The car... A few days.

- That long?

I'm gonna have to give it

my full attention.

Well, I'd better call a phone.

Can I use your cab?

There's a cab in the office.

But the uncertainty principle postulates

a universe of chaos, where

everything happens merely by chance.

Thank you.

- Well?

- We'll take care of it.

Hello, I need a taxi...

Catherine Boyd, B-O-Y-D.

What? Oh... What's the address here?

- 130 Broad.

- 130 Broad.

First stop is the Silas Paine Institute,

then 112 Mercer.

- Your address?

- 112 Mercer.

Two minutes! Thank you. Bye.

Well... It was Belgium.

- It was? What was?

- A study.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- I don't want you to worry...

- James! The taxi's coming.

- Well done, honey...

- Belgium.

- Two days, three at the most?

- We'll call you.

I, for one, will never believe

that God plays dice

with the universe.

- We're wasting time! Serve already!

- That's ridiculous!

How can you waste something

that doesn't exist?

Time doesn't exist? Since when?

I wouldn't know. If time doesn't exist,

then there is no "when".

You hear, Liebknecht?

Another crazy theory.

Then tell me the correct time, now.

You see, you can't.

Because as you're telling me,

the future has become the past,

therefore there is no present,

therefore time doesn't exist!

Perhaps.

Oops!

Now your racket doesn't exist.

- Oh.

- Yes?

- You're Albert Einstein.

- Thank you.

- Wow! May I say what a great fan I am?

- Thank you.

What you wrote about light being bent

by gravitation, the relativity thing...

That is... jivin'!

- I'm still trying to figure it out.

- Me too.

- Can I help you, Mr...

- Walters, Ed Walters.

I'm looking for Catherine Boyd.

I must have the wrong address.

- Catherine is my niece.

- She's your niece?

- I can't have a niece?

- That would make you her uncle.

- It works nicely, doesn't it?

- Wow!

I found this watch of hers

at my garage, and...

Thank you. I see that she gets it.

I was hoping to return it

to her personally.

Why?

Let's just say it would be

beneficial to her future.

Perhaps you'd better

come in, Mr Walters.

May I present Boris Podolsky,

Kurt Gdel, Nathan Liebknecht?

Three of the greatest minds

of the 20th century,

and amongst them

they can't change a light bulb.

- Edward, is it?

- Yes.

Edward has come

to pay a call on Catherine.

- Good...

- Nice, very nice...

- I could fix this for you.

- Oh, very nice.

Very nice. Thank you very much.

This is my compass.

This is what got me started in my work.

So, young man.

Do you think time exists?

Time?

I was just reading about it

in Future Science magazine.

- Tell us.

- There are these twins...

One takes a journey in a spacecraft,

at the speed of light,

and the other one stays on earth.

The twin that travels into space

comes back years later, and he's young.

And the one who stayed on earth,

by this time, is very old.

So, which one do you think is happier?

- The young one.

- Ja.

- No, the one that stayed behind.

- Why?

Because he's had a full life,

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