I Am A Girl

I live in the projects, ghetto.

Around here, a lot of drugs

and gangs and stuff like that.

I try to stay inside.

It's kinda like a black hole sometimes.

A lot of people here,

like, got sucked into the black hole

and they're here forever.

Like they were here since,

like, little kids

and they're still here,

on the streets, not up to any good.

So I try not to get sucked in.

Growing up,

it was kinda hard sometimes,

because it's like,

where do I fit in sometimes?

I'm not around people

that like to do the same stuff as me

so sometimes, I feel, like, by myself.

And I don't have

any brothers or sisters,

so it's like, OK, so who do you talk to?

I just had to find, you know,

my own way of expressing myself,

you know, when I was sad

and stuff like that.

And then with friends,

you can't really trust friends

because you never know, like,

who's gonna just turn on you.

So I just kept everything to myself,

and that's why I like creativity.

It means, like, so much to me

because that's how I express myself.

Writing, drawing, fashion,

music, like makeup,

like things like that,

it makes me feel better.

Hi, my name's Katie.

I'm 17 and I live in Sydney, Australia.

I'm not the super, super rich,

you know, the 1%,

but I'm definitely very privileged

and very lucky to be where I am.

We have a nice house with a big space.

I've always had

more than enough to eat, you know,

nearly everything that I need

and most of the things I want and...

Yeah, we're really lucky.

I am very much a nerd.

I love Doctor Who and Sherlock

and Veronica Mars, Avatar.

I love reading a lot.

Obviously, I'm a big Harry Potter fan.

Thing I love most

about books and stories

is escaping into another world.

Yeah, really kind of get

taken away from reality,

cos sometimes, it can be quite

boring and harsh and you just...

you need that escapism.

Often the filter between my brain

and my mouth doesn't work.

I'll say something that I don't mean,

in the heat of the moment,

like when I'm angry or when I'm upset

and it might get me in a bit of trouble,

because although I'm feeling it

at the time, I certainly don't mean it.

My school, it's a selective high school

so we're all really quite smart.

And, you know, being really nerdy

or really out there is just...

it's fine, you know, you're allowed

to be yourself at my school,

which is a really great thing

for when you're growing up because,

you know, often you have no idea

who you are and who you want to be.

When I started feeling really down

about myself

I didn't tell anyone.

I didn't want anyone in my family

to worry about me,

so I just really kept it to myself

and hoped that it would go away.

It didn't.

What most people don't understand

about depression

is, first of all,

it is an actual physical illness,

because there is a chemical imbalance

in the brain

which means you don't get

dopamine and serotonin.

And so, that way, you can't,

you know, feel good about yourself,

and everything's

just a standard flat line.

And the whole kind of thing

where, you know,

there's a light

at the end of the tunnel...

there is no light

when you're feeling like that.

You're just wandering aimlessly

in the darkness forever, you know,

and having absolutely no idea

where you're going.

So, you just want to sit down

and stop.

Something will happen that,

you know, in any other situation,

you'd be able to just brush it off,

like a mark at school

that was less than you expected.

You know, oh, this mark means

you're not going to do well in the HSC,

and then from that, you get, well,

if you don't do well in the HSC,

you're not going

to get into any uni courses.

So you're going to have to be stuck

in a dead-end job

for the rest of your life...

Why are you even here, you know?

It's just gonna be pointless

and you're just going

to keep going on and on and on

and you're never going

to enjoy yourself.

So, you know, you're a failure,

you know, you've already failed,

you're worthless.

My friends over the past few years

have very much been my lifeline.

Paisley... Where to start?

She's always really fun and charismatic

and very sure of herself,

and it's really refreshing.

That's the most obnoxious sound ever.

That's the point,

so that way you can hear it.

Oh.

She's very much been someone

who's always ready to drop

anything to help me.

I'll see you later.

See you. Bye-bye.

Later this afternoon.

I'm coming back for dinner.

Bye.

Just keep your head up

Show 'em no attention

And they start to get fed up...

I started about junior high school,

writing poetry and then one day,

I decided to put it to a beat.

And I'm like, "Wow, this actually sounds

nice and I'm good at it."

It comes easy.

Like, I didn't have to try too hard,

you know, to make up rhymes.

And really, it was, like,

one, two, three.

I can write a song in about

20 minutes or, like, 30 minutes.

All the words just flow,

like, in my head.

Nowadays, like, pop, you can rap to pop.

So I figure,

why not take over that pop-rap,

you know, rop, mix it together?

Why not take over it, you know,

be the princess of the pop-rap?

But I really like it,

because if I'm feeling sad

or if I'm really happy,

I would just write a song, you know.

If you look into my eyes

I can hypnotise your whole mind.

You won't even realise

Because the power of love

Love, my love.

Love Potion is

about hypnotising a boy,

like, just making him

really like you a lot,

by just looking at him,

like, not doing much,

just like, you know, looking

and a little smiling.

Love potion

Tell me how it tastes.

I got the idea from Marilyn Monroe

kind of, cos, you know...

a damsel in distress.

Like, she doesn't really have to do much

and she's, like, ditzy, kind of.

But not so much of the ditzy part,

but so much of not having to do

a lot to get the boy to like you,

like, to woo him in.

So whether it's just, like,

your eyes or just your smile

or, like, the perfume,

like, he's like, "Wow."

Like, she didn't even have to talk.

Like, I really like her.

Don't try and run away

It's already too late

And you gonna be a sad case

if you do.

Take a sip of this love potion

Tell me how it tastes.

I like to cook. I love to cook.

I want to have a catering company.

And my favourite things

is my fish cakes.

Everyone knows my fish cakes.

I got that recipe from my mother,

she got it from her mother.

That's the family secret recipe.

I'll be able to give that

to Breani for the future.

My mum is everything, like...

I wouldn't be here without her.

She got me through a lot.

Like, we argue and stuff like that,

but at the end of the day,

like, that's my mum.

She's kind of like an angel,

like the angel voice that's like...

Like sometimes, when I'm out

with my friends and stuff,

I would think, like, "OK, what would

my mum do and what'd she say?"

OK, if my mum would say no,

yeah, I'm not doing that.

Right now, I'm unemployed.

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