I Am a Sex Addict Page #3

I was afraid that my erection had become

permanent and would never go away.

Caroline offered to give me

yet another blow job,

but I had recently

gotten a job as a film critic

and I didn't want to be late

to my first screening.

On the way there

my erection finally subsided.

At that moment I was filled

with boundless love for Caroline,

and I felt closer to her than ever before.

As part of our newfound intimacy,

I started pointing out to Caroline

the women I was attracted to.

I like that one.

That one?

She's gross!

Not to me.

- I like that one, too.

- You're kidding, right?

No, I'm serious.

She's exactly my type.

But she's so vulgar.

I know. That's what I like

about her. It's true.

Did you see that woman?

I would love to have sex with her.

It was great to be able

to be totally honest with Caroline,

and I felt that I was finally having

the kind of open and honest relationship

that I'd always dreamed of.

Whoa! Look at those lips.

I would love a blow job from her.

Did you see that?

But after a while,

Caroline couldn't take it anymore.

- What's the matter?

- What do you think?

I'm sick and tired of you

staring at other women all the time!

- It's humiliating!

- What do you want me to do?

You want me to hide the fact

that I'm attracted to somebody?

How would you like it if you saw me drooling

over every guy I was attracted to? Huh?

Well, I'd probably feel a little jealous,

but I'd try to transcend it.

I would!

Didn't you say you wanted me

to be totally honest?

CAROLINE:

Well, I've changed my mind!

But my not being able

to be totally honest with her

made me feel alienated once again.

And I started obsessing about the various

women I would see on the street.

I remember this one time,

I saw a woman on the subway

that I was particularly attracted to.

I don't know what I was thinking.

but I suddenly started following her.

For some reason, I was dying

to reach out and touch her butt.

And I was trying to get up

the courage to do this

when her boyfriend suddenly appeared.

But I had been so turned on by her

that all I wanted to do was masturbate.

The only place I could find

was a confessional.

There was something

about masturbating in a confessional

that appealed to my sense

of transgression.

And it wasn't long before I had masturbated

in every cathedral in Paris.

Meanwhile, Caroline and I had

started fighting more and more,

and I had started threatening

to have sex with a prostitute

in order to get her

to stop fighting with me.

I'm going to go have sex with a prostitute!

Fine! Go get your dick sucked

by a prostitute! See if I care!

Pssh!

And then one day I somehow

managed to convince myself

that I was hurting her more by constantly

threatening to have sex with a prostitute

than I would by just doing it

and getting it out of my system

once and for all.

I wanted to reach out and touch her butt,

but I felt shy.

I didn't know if that was allowed.

(water running)

(turns water off)

(moaning)

Uh...

Um...

(opens wrapper)

I was certainly tempted,

but I had every intention of resisting having

intercourse until she said the words...

For some reason, those words triggered

a chemical reaction in my brain.

And it was suddenly as if I had no choice.

I'm not sure why...

... but the fact that her delivery

was so unconvincing

just turned me on even more.

(moaning)

There's something I have to tell you.

I know.

You had sex with a prostitute.

How'd you know?

I can tell.

You're not mad at me?

No, I'm not mad at you.

I think it was the right thing to do

because now I've finally

gotten it out of my system.

I love you.

I know. Just please,

go take a shower.

So, tell me what happened.

I told her the whole story.

But when I got to the part about

the intercourse, she got pretty upset.

You had intercourse?

Yeah.

But I used a condom.

You promised you weren't going to!

I know, I'm sorry.

I tried not to, but I couldn't help myself.

She said the words "rape me,"

and I just got really turned on after that.

Now, I think I should explain that this was

especially difficult for Caroline to hear

because she herself had been raped.

I had hoped that being completely honest

would bring us closer together,

but I had seriously miscalculated.

I don't want to have sex tonight.

I wasn't suggesting it.

It's not to punish you, you know.

I know.

It's just, I need more time to get over it.

I understand.

Take all the time you need.

Thanks.

I was surprised at how little time

it took for her to get over it.

(moaning)

It only took three days.

After that, everything seemed

pretty much back to normal.

Except for one thing...

Caroline started having fainting spells.

Caroline! Caroline!

What's the matter?

I don't know.

I don't feel well.

We went to see several doctors to try

to figure out what was wrong with her,

but none of them

could ever find anything.

She's perfectly fine.

You know, it's been over two months

since we've had sex.

If you want me to suck you,

I'll suck you.

That's not why I'm saying it.

I'm saying it because I think

maybe you're mad at me.

I'm not mad at you.

I just haven't been feeling well.

Okay.

Are you sure you don't want me

to give you oral sex?

Caveh, I really don't feel well.

Okay.

This went on for a whole year,

during which my desire to have sex

with a prostitute gradually returned.

I tried to escape my marital unhappiness

by throwing myself into my work...

Higher!

I said higher!

... but I was unable to raise money

for any of my film projects.

Higher!

What's the matter with you?

Can't you jump higher than that?

Out of desperation, I had applied

to film school back in the States.

Soon after we moved to Los Angeles,

Caroline confessed to me that she

had fallen in love with my friend Gary...

... and then she fell in love

with my friend Keith...

... and then she fell in love

with my friend Teddy.

A week later

she and Teddy moved in together,

and a year later they were married.

This is the real Caroline.

I asked her to play herself in the movie,

but she declined.

I tried to stay in touch over the years,

but after a while Caroline

stopped returning my calls.

I realize I haven't made it seem

like I was in love with Caroline,

but the truth is I really was,

as much as I was capable

of loving anyone.

I mean, I was only 26 at the time.

After the break-up, all I could think about

was finding someone to have sex with.

Hi, can I get in?

How much?

How much do you want to spend?

Thirty?

Okay. Can I get in?

Okay.

- Hi, my name's Candy.

- Hi, I'm Bob.

- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you, too.

- Where are we going?

- Pull over right here.

Can I have the money now?

Oh, sure.

Um...

Do you have any change?

No, but If you give me 40,

I'll make it extra good.

Um...

Okay.

Look out for cops, okay?

(moaning)

Bye.

Afterwards, I felt euphoric.

But by the time I got home,

I felt empty and depressed.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes