I Am Heath Ledger Page #9

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the only difference being

is that we had

to live our feelings out

in the public eye.

It was our boy,

and it was the world's moment,

and our private moment,

but it was something

that we had to share,

and sharing that...

across the world

was so hard, you know?

That was a very sad day.

It was.

What might have been lost

I just got up

and went home.

I just hid.

What might have been lost

What might have been lost

I was shooting a music video

on a day that he died.

I was in Eau Claire, Wisconsin,

with Justin, who is Bon Iver.

I saw that I had, like,

35 messages on my phone.

Don't bother me

What might have been

I just heard

what sounded like crying...

and Matt told me

that his friend Heath

had passed away,

and I just held him

for the longest time,

and I just told him,

"Whatever you need to do, man,

we're here for you."

This person that I just met

just had lost

somebody so important to them.

It was no longer about making

a Bon Iver music video anymore.

This was now our chance

to be there with Matt

as he grieved.

What might have been lost

It was a three-day...wake.

Don't bother me

I was deeply sad,

but Heath didn't want me

to be sad.

He wanted to see me smile

all the time,

and he couldn't have possibly

given me more in my life,

and I'm very lucky.

Out of these three days

that I spent with Matt,

I got the next five years

of my life.

I started writing

all these words down,

some of these visions

that Matt

would kind of tell me

about Heath growing up

in Australia,

and the words ended up

being the first song there,

and I called it "Perth."

It's still hard

when people talk about it,

and people have

preconceived ideas about how...

surrounding that period of time.

It's, you know...

but that's what people do,

you know?

They come up

with their version of it

that makes it

convenient and tidy

and, you know,

and also tells a good story.

The truth is, he was super happy

and was loving life,

and he struggled

with some demons,

but he wasn't wanting

to go anywhere but forward.

His heart was just

incredibly beautiful.

Fearless in how he loved

and how he opened his heart.

He was seeing the world

in a way

that the rest of us didn't,

and in a way

that the rest of us couldn't,

and time and convention meant

absolutely nothing to him.

He had this light around him.

Wherever he went,

he shone light on people.

It made their lives better.

Not yet awake

All our lives

were better

for him being around...

and we still talk about it now.

Still alive who you love

Still alive who you love

Still alive

We are lucky

that he completed

so much in his life

that not only he is proud of,

but it's left

for his little girl, Matilda,

to see what her daddy was

and how creative and artistic

he was.

There's

all of this footage of him.

There's these films

that she gets to watch

and be proud

of who her father was.

I have no doubt

that he could've done

innumerable more

extraordinary performances

and given those gifts

to the world.

So I'm ridding

all your stories

In Chinese,

we call it "God envy,"

a person so talented

that even God envy him.

You're breaking

your ground

The trajectory he went on

in such a short time

was extraordinary.

Do you look at this

and think to yourself,

"Somebody's maybe making

an impressionistic film

about my life someday?"

In not maybe this year,

but in 10 years from now?

Um, wow,

I haven't given it

any thought, no.

I haven't, and, um,

I think it would be

a pretty boring movie.

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