I Call First Page #3

You know, if he, like, picks up a drink,

he's gotta look like he's gonna squash it.

lmagine what women think.

To them, he's the worst bad guy.

He not only kills people,

he breaks furniture.

You like pigeons?

-l had a pigeon coop when l was a kid.

-You did?

-With this Jewish kid on my block.

-How do you make them come back?

-How do you make them come back?

-Well, you fly them.

-You train them with this stick.

-Yeah.

They follow it and come back.

They know to follow the stick.

lf they don't come back,

you go around the corner. . .

. . .and rob some from the other guy.

And you make up for yours.

-Sally?

-What?

-l had $40, it ain't here.

-What do you mean?

l had $40 and someone

took it on me.

We've been here all night.

Nobody took it.

-Forty dollars!

-lt's here someplace.

-That was all the money l had.

-Don't worry, we'll find it.

-lt's around here someplace.

-Well, it ain't here.

-l'll go look by the bar.

-Forty dollars.

-Forty dollars, huh?

-lt ain't here.

lt's gone. Are you sure it's in. . .?

No, it ain't there.

Look, it ain't there.

The money ain't here.

What can l tell you?

-Where'd you leave this?

-Over there.

-You left it over there?

-Yeah, so?

What are you, stupid? You take

your pocketbook, put it behind the bar.

You're supposed to know.

That's stupid, you know?

-You gotta know this.

-That's all the money--

I can 't even get home now.

That's all the money I had.

-l have to walk to Jersey?

-Wanna take a cab?

Here. How much is it gonna cost?

Two, three?

Well, it's right over the tunnel.

-Five dollars.

-Here.

Really? You can afford $5

for me to get back.

Yeah, all right?

Wait outside. l'm gonna

lock up the place.

Yeah, sure.

Here.

It's chime time! Twenty-five to 9 here

on 1 260. Last on the dial, first in tile.

It's Air-sweep air conditioner

that makes the difference.

Air-sweep sweeps the air

from ceiling to floor.

Draft-free seasonal control.

Automatic levers oscillate the air.

Yes, the air door....

Close the window.

Lets you aim the air where you want it.

From 500 Btus to 28,000 Btus.

Every metal part is zinc-rich steel!

Wow!

For $394 installed

with no down payment.

Up to five years to pay. ED5-3200.

ED5-3200.

Come on and call it, mama.

ED5-32-0-0.

Close the door, huh?

Gaga, will you close the door?

-Oh, that's lovely.

-Be careful. Don't touch it.

Look, don't worry.

l won't break it.

Anything happens to that,

my mother will pass out.

Well, if you put it that way. . . .

What? What's the matter?

Nothing.

Why'd you stop?

Just felt like it.

No reason.

Do you mind?

Listen, l. . . .

l love you.

l don't know.

l love you but--

What is it?

Well, now l feel. . . .

l feel silly saying this.

Don't feel silly. Say it.

What l mean is. . . .

lf you love me,

you'll understand what l mean.

Just not now.

Why?

Just not now. Okay?

Okay.

What's wrong?

l don't know,

call it anything you want.

Old-fashioned or what.

But l love you first, as you.

To me, it. . . .

To me, you know?

lf you love me,

you'll understand what l mean.

l guess so.

You're beautiful.

Hey, I really liked her in that picture.

-That girl in that picture?

-Yeah.

Let me tell you something,

that girl in that picture was a broad.

-What do you mean ''a broad''?

-A broad.

You know, there are girls,

and then there are broads.

You know what a-- A broad isn't

exactly a virgin, you know what l mean?

You play around with them,

you don't. . . .

-You don't marry a broad, you know?

-Come on, you don't mean that.

l mean it. Sure, l mean it.

Let's go to that corner and get a cab.

Cab? Taxi.

We gotta bring him down to the club

to meet the rest of the guys.

-You gotta meet my friend, Sally Gaga.

-Sally what?

Gaga. We call him Gaga

because every time you turn. . .

. . .he's doing something stupid.

Every time.

l'd have brought him,

but you'd have killed me. He's nuts.

Yeah, a nutty guy.

-What do you got in this Copig anyway?

-Copake. Copake, New York.

lt's a small town.

lt's a nice town, you're gonna like it.

Here we are. Copig, New York,

the garden spot of the world.

-Copake!

-Copake. Excuse me.

-Look at this, the trees, the animals.

-Beautiful.

We're in the country, J.R.

Copake, New York.

-Here we are.

-Hey, hey!

Copiague. Copiague.

-Not Copake, but Copiague.

-Copiague.

-Right.

-P-A-l-G-E or some goddamn thing.

What am l doing in a place like this?

What, are we kidding ourselves?

-Look around you.

-Why?

Look around you. Easy, easy.

Just take a look at this.

-That's our standard footwear.

-They look like a bunch of farmers.

-They are.

-They are? You see that guy over there?

Last Saturday in July,

you come back here, boy--

-We speak what we wanna speak.

-And we needle who we wanna needle.

-They don't like it, they can--

-Kiss your--

You want another beer?

Yeah.

-What about you?

-No.

You don't want another one?

All right, no beer.

We gonna spend three days

here drinking?

What else you wanna do?

l don't know, you tell me.

What else can we do?

-Nothing.

-Just spend three days here?

You know what we're gonna

do tomorrow? Something l wanna do.

But tonight we're doing

what l wanna do?

Yes. Right.

-You tell me what--

-We come up here.

We sit here in a bar

for three hours and drink.

-That's what you wanted to do.

-That's what l wanted to do.

-What are we gonna do?

-l'll show you something.

-What?

-Something beautiful.

-Okay?

-Yeah. What's her name?

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Hey, wait a minute.

Wait one minute, huh?

-l wanna rest a minute.

-Come on.

No, no, wait a minute.

Hey, who is this guy?

-What? You're tired?

-Yeah, l'm tired. l mean, who is he?

-You know who he is?

-A friend of mine. Why?

-Who knows where he's taking us?

-This is good for you.

Yeah, really good.

-You wanna go to the top?

-Yeah.

-You wanna go back down?

-l don't know. You gonna go to the top?

-Yeah. lt can't be much further.

-Hurry up. Come on, it's beautiful.

-You're gonna get tired if you--

-Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Yeah, it's beautiful, it's beautiful.

This is what he's gonna show us.

Something beautiful.

lt can't be much further.

Hey, where is he?

l don't even see him anymore.

l don't know where he is.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, will you?

For crying out loud, wait a minute.

Hey, watch out

for the snakes down there.

-What did he say about snakes?

-Are you serious?

You gonna climb

a mountain with snakes?

He's just trying to scare us.

That's right. He scared me.

l'm scared of snakes.

They bite us,

they're gonna bite him too.

-l don't know. Wait a minute.

-Don't let this fag scare us. Come on.

Come on!

Hey, hurry up, will you? We're almost

there. lt's beautiful up here.

-l think we're gonna beat him to the top.

-Yeah, we're gonna beat him.

How? You don't even know

where you're going.

Three, four hours l spent

climbing a mountain. For what?

To come up here.

So, what's up here? Big deal.

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