I Declare War Page #5

Whatever.

I wanna go with Frost.

Okay, fine, go with Frost.

I don't care!

Just go, find him,

and bring him back.

Alive!

Come on.

Frost, come on.

Do you remember that one time

when you threw

Chinese noodles at me?

No.

Oh.

Was your juice good?

Frost, I don't like you.

I like your friend, Trevor.

Frost! Come on!

Bye, Trevor.

If you could be

the most famous, richest,

most loved person on earth,

but had to stick your dick

in a dog's mouth,

would you do it?

What kind of dog?

Any dog.

A Chihuahua?

Is that really how small your dick is?

I just want a harmless dog.

Okay, fine. A Chihuahua.

Would people know I had done it?

Yes. Front page of the newspaper.

"Local Boy Sticks Dick

in Dog's Mouth."

But then it would say I was

rich and famous, right?

Yeah, near the end of the article.

That's enough.

Your questions are dumb.

There's no relationship between

social status and dog blowj*bs.

How do you know?

We should start

moving into our positions.

Does everyone know what their job is?

- Wesley?

- Stay here.

Guard the base.

Protect the flag.

Good. Joker?

Attack from the west.

I still don't like this.

What if they ambush us?

They can't ambush three people

coming from three different directions.

They don't have enough soldiers.

Caleb?

Good. And I'll come in from the north.

Let's synchronize watches.

Everyone in positions at 1650.

We attack at 1700 hours.

My watch doesn't go up to 1700.

Wesley... you're the key here.

If anyone comes into this base,

you have to shoot them and kill them.

- Okay?

- Okay.

Say it. Say, "I will shoot to kill."

I will shoot to kill.

I can do it.

I know you can.

Okay, people... 1700 hours!

Hey, um... sorry I hit you before.

Okay.

- I was just...

- It's okay.

I forgive you.

Okay.

Joker! Let's go!

J...

That was crazy with the wasps, huh?

What happened to you after that?

I was looking for you.

- I saw you.

- What? With that girl?

She thinks she's, like,

cool, but she's not.

She's stupid. She asked me

to grab her a leaf.

How stupid is that?

What are you gonna do with a leaf?

Eat it? God!

She's probably

the stupidest girl I've ever met.

- You carried her crossbow.

- She asked me to!

I don't want her to hang out with us.

She's not even like us.

She plays chess.

She wouldn't shut up

about how much she loves chess.

Do I look like the kind

of guy that plays chess?

Bang!

Bang! Bang!

Oh! You got me.

Oh, no, I'm dying!

How come I'm dying so young?

Oh, no. No, please save me.

I... I see the light! Oh, oh...

Medic! Where are you?

No...

Yes!

I'm gonna beat them. All of them.

- Even P.K.?

- P.K. and Skinner.

I'm using strategy.

They wouldn't understand.

They don't play chess.

This is the most romantic thing

anyone's ever done for me.

That's why I think you'll love

France. It's so romantic.

Yeah. I really wanna go there.

Can I still come with you?

Of course. We'll live there.

Where?

In Paris, on the Left Bank.

That's totally awesome.

Sh*t!

Yes!

Ha ha! You're mine!

Eeny, meeny, miney, mo,

catch a chink by the toe...

You know I'm half Korean, right?

- Shut up!

- Oh! Ooh!

Good job.

It was so cool.

I shot him three times.

He was just standing there by a tree!

What do you mean?

He wasn't hiding?

No, he was right out in the open.

He didn't even fight back.

Grab him, both of you.

Why weren't you hiding?

I got lost.

Did you make it back to your base?

No.

Indian burn.

Urgh!

Did you tell P.K. where we are?

- No, I swear...

- Charley horse.

Oh!

Why are you still loyal to him?

Where's the big rescue?

All he did was the lame thing

with the fake brother.

He's using you. So stop protecting him.

Did you tell him where we are?

No!

- We're moving.

- We are?

You're not. I am.

I'm taking him to a new base.

The one that we almost used this time.

- From two times ago?

- You c... you can't move.

You're not allowed to move.

Oh, yeah? And why not?

It's against the rules.

Oh, right. The rules.

F*** the rules!

Ready to get your nose broken, b*tch?

No... no.

No...

no, no, no. Don't do it!

Can't hear you.

Please! Please, no!

Uh...

Hey, after the war, do you wanna

come over and play video games?

Shut up. We've got a problem.

What?

- There's no flag.

- So?

So, why would anybody

come into this base?

It's deserted. We need a flag.

What are we gonna do?

Uh...

somebody should go in there

and put in a fake flag.

We'll trick 'em.

Yeah. I'll do it.

I dunno, maybe I should.

No man, come on.

You gotta let me.

This is such a good idea.

Please? I can do it.

Fine. You do it.

So, what do I do?

What color is your gitch?

Go now!

What now?

Just hide!

Frost, what do I do now?

Frost!

Frost, what do I do?

Where are you?

Frost!

Ah!

Aaah!

Don't move or I swear I'll kill you.

Drop your gun, now. Drop it!

- Skinner wants to see you.

- Yeah?

Well, I want to see him, too.

Shut up. Move.

Bye, Trevor...

- Not again.

- Shut up!

Stop.

Now you're gonna see the real P.K.

Hi.

Sorry I killed your friend.

He wasn't my friend.

Oh.

Okay.

You're Wesley, right?

Yeah.

Or Altar Boy. In war, I'm Altar Boy.

My name's Jess.

Yeah, I know.

We have Geography together.

Oh, right.

You're the kid who

prayed before the test.

You can sit if you want.

So, what did you get on that test?

- Forty-three.

- So it didn't work.

So, if it didn't work,

why do you keep praying?

I don't know.

Well, that's kind of silly,

don't you think?

Yeah.

But it kind of did work.

'Cause then I knew I had to study.

So, I studied, and got

71 on my next test.

That's good.

God loves me.

Love is important.

- Can you do me a favor?

- Sure.

Can I see your gun?

Yeah, okay.

Is it yours?

Yeah.

It's nice.

So, now you never pray before a test?

No. I study.

That's good. That's a real lesson.

Thanks, Wesley.

See you in school tomorrow,

probably.

Bye.

We did it. We beat P.K.

Yeah.

He got Sikorski, though.

- Oh, well.

- Oh, well.

Go home, Frost.

- What?

- Go home.

But I'm not dead yet.

Okay. You're dead.

You a**hole!

Is there something

you wanna say to me?

No.

You know I beat Quinn, right?

I figured.

I beat Frost. I beat Kwon twice.

And I beat you. I won.

You don't have my flag yet.

You don't want to say that you

were wrong about something?

No.

You don't want to be friends again?

Not really.

But... I won. I beat everybody.

I told you before.

I don't wanna be your friend.

Oh, but you'll be friends

with that piece of sh*t?

Yeah.

But I'm better than him!

You used to be friends?

Best friends.

Before your dumb ass moved here.

Now we're gonna be friends again,

because P.K. isn't friends

with losers like you.

Skinner...

let him go.

Okay. Fine.

Kwon can be included.

It could be the three of us.

I don't want to be your friend.

- Why?

- Look at you.

You always freak out about nothing.

You're a total spaz.

Every time you lose a game,

you go nuts

and throw the board across the room.

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