I Do Page #5

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Want to come to a slumber party?

A slumber party?

Yeah! Yeah, let's go!

Stop!

It has an unbreakable probe

that uses disposable combs.

Are you Mrs. Edwards?

Uh, yeah.

We're from immigration

and customs enforcement.

We need to come in and

ask you a few questions.

- Okay.

- Is Mr. Edwards here?

Uh... no, he's not.

W... what are you doing?

Don't you need a search warrant for this?

We're immigration, Mrs.

Edwards, not the police.

When will your husband be back home?

Uh... I don't know.

Well you may want to call him.

Jack, the I.N.S. are here.

I don't know.

They want to see you... us.

I don't care who looks after Tara.

You have to come here now.

Please repeat after me,

I declare under penalty of perjury...

I declare under penalty of perjury...

That the following is true and correct.

That the following is true and correct.

Your husband's visa was denied.

Yes.

Were you engaged to be married

before the visa was denied?

No.

What's your maiden name,

address, and date of birth?

Alison Federman,

- 300 west 12th street.

- Apartment J4, New York, New York,

- 10012.

- Your wife's date of birth?

Uh, April 9, 1981.

April 9, 1981.

What was the last meal

you had with each other?

Uh, Italian.

Takeout.

Yeah, more specifically.

Chinese.

Where'd you meet your wife?

N.Y.U... through friends.

N.Y.U... the darkroom.

Who sleeps on which side of the bed?

I sleep on the right.

I sleep on the left.

I sleep on the left. N... n... n...

no, sorry. I sleep on the right.

I always get that confused.

What's your husband's favorite food?

Spanish. He likes Spanish food.

Spanish.

Are you circumcised?

Is your husband circumcised?

He's English.

I'm English.

You're free to go.

- What?

- Yeah, you can go.

You'll have another

meeting in about six months.

- Ali!

- Don't, Jack! Don't!

Do you have any idea

what that was like for me?

I'm sorry.

I didn't know they were

gonna come to the house.

Do you even care about this marriage?

- Of course I do.

- That's the wrong question.

Do you even care about me?

'cause I think that all you care

about is what you can get from me

and this marriage.

That's not true!

Of course I care about you.

Mya needed me.

You are never here anymore, Jack.

The second Mano came into this

picture, you just disappeared.

- I'm sorry.

- I trusted you.

I trusted you with my life.

I can go to jail because of this.

- Ali!

- Don't touch me!

He's gone all the time, and

it's really freaking me out.

I mean, I know he has a life, but...

thanks.

He's basically moved in with him already.

I'm afraid the I.N.S.

could come back at any time.

I just don't know what to do.

Al, it's not the 1950s.

If you're not happy, you can get a divorce.

What?

What about Tara and Mya and...

Ali,

think about this logically.

You can go to federal prison

if they find out this

is a fraudulent marriage.

I know he's your best friend,

but you have to think

about what's right for you,

okay?

He can find somebody else.

Hey.

Is he really worth the risk?

She won't even talk to me.

Give her some time. She'll come around.

Mano! What if somebody sees?

We'll tell them we're European.

Hi.

You okay?

I want a divorce. I can't do this.

I thought I could, but I just, uh...

I'm sorry.

I spoke with a lawyer. You'll have until

the next meeting before they find out.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

What happened?

What happened?

Come on.

This is pretty standard stuff, guys.

And this is a good friend of yours?

Is there nothing we can do?

You can fight it.

- It wouldn't be easy.

- How much are we talking?

$10,000, $15,000.

And there's absolutely no guarantee

they'd approve him anyway.

I don't want to fight it.

You don't have a choice.

If you leave the country now,

they'll never let you back in.

- If you were to marry someone else...

- Someone else?

I know. I know it's risky, but

it would keep you here.

So I wouldn't have to go back at all?

- No.

- What about me?

I'm an American citizen.

I could marry Jack.

Y... you can.

Are you kidding me?

Jack Edwards...

no, not like this. Why not?

I told you yesterday

that if you were to get deported,

I would go back to England with you.

But this is like...

- For real.

- You don't understand.

This is exactly what I want.

Still here, guys.

You can marry Jack,

but it won't do a damn thing

to keep him in this country.

I don't understand.

It's legal in New York.

Immigration is a

federal-level right, Mano.

As the law stands, with gay marriage

only being on the state level,

your marriage would mean nothing.

So our relationship means nothing?

Your relationship is not the problem here.

The problem is, you don't have the

same rights as a straight couple.

Your marriage may look and

feel the same, but it's not.

I'm sorry, guys.

There's simply nothing we can do.

Look, my son is gay.

He's been with his partner 10 years now.

I know what you guys are up against.

You're gonna have to either

fight this divorce

or find another woman

that would be willing to

go the whole way with you.

Thanks.

Hey.

It's gonna be okay.

I promise.

What did you do, Jack?

You must have done something.

Other than not being there when

the f***ing I.N.S. turned up

Jesus, Jack.

Well, I was babysitting for you, Mya.

What, so this is all my fault now?

Well, if you hadn't been called into

work and I wasn't babysitting for you,

then I would have been there!

Yeah, well, if you hadn't lost your wallet,

none of us would be

here in the first place.

W... what's that supposed to mean?

Nothing. Just forget I ever said it.

- You think that I...

- No!

What I think is, sometimes

things happen in life, okay?

I think sometimes things happen,

and you just have to grow the f*** up

and move on.

You think that I killed Peter.

I didn't say that.

No, you think that I killed my own brother!

I didn't say that.

So what did you say?!

I didn't say anything.

I didn't think anything.

Just drop it, okay?

Go on. Say it.

Say it, Mya.

Say what you've been wanting to say

- for seven f***ing years!

- All right, fine!

Okay?

I wish it was you.

I wish to God it was you

that was killed that night.

I wish it was you

that was standing outside in the rain

by that cab while my husband kept me warm

when I had just found out I

was pregnant with his child!

You don't think that I wish that?

Every day?

Mya, I know who I am.

I'm not her father.

I'm just the gay uncle.

- I'm sorry.

- I got to go.

I'm sorry.

Hey, guys. Here they are.

Hey. Sorry we're late.

So, this is April.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Wow.

You two guys certainly

make a handsome couple.

Yes, one that doesn't have too

many rights, or so it seems.

Well, that's why we're here, gentlemen.

It's my mother.

I have to take this call.

- What time is it there?

- Early.

I'll be right back. Excuse me.

Well, I think we have a solution.

Right. Um...

the reason I wanted to

meet you, Jack, is, uh,

Sam told me you're looking for a wife.

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