I Do Page #6

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Yeah, for my green card.

Right.

Because it's funny...

I was just telling Sam

how I was having such

a difficult time meeting any decent guys.

I mean, they're all such...

douchebags.

Sorry. You have to take them, too.

Anyway, I'm not getting any younger,

and I'd really like to have a baby.

So what we were thinking is,

if you would donate some sperm

so April can have a baby...

I would marry you for your green card.

Donate sperm?

If we time it right, I could be

pregnant for the I.N.S. meeting.

and then no one could question

why you're getting married.

It's perfect.

Plus, you'd both have a vested interest,

so no one could back out.

Well, I certainly couldn't back out.

I'd be pregnant.

- It'd be very obvious.

- I guess.

I... I don't know what to say. Um...

can you excuse me for just one second?

Jack?

It's my father.

He had a stroke.

There's been extensive brain damage.

They said it's gonna be a

very long rehabilitation.

Jesus, Mano.

I have to go back.

Of course. You must.

I was hoping you would come with me.

You know I can't do that.

I wouldn't get back in the country.

I wasn't thinking we would be coming back.

I already turned in my resignation.

You're moving back?

My mother can't do this by herself.

Isn't there another family

member that can help?

This is my father, Jack.

The man almost beat you half to death

when you told him you were gay.

He's my flesh and blood.

He needs me.

You think this is what I want to do?

You think this is...

Easy? This is...

I don't know what to do, Jack.

Well, you have to go back.

Then come with me.

Maybe we can do a long-distance thing.

I could throw rope across the

ocean and pull Europe closer.

You could come here every couple of months.

I guess I misunderstood

what was going on here.

We can have a marriage in Spain...

a real marriage.

I can't leave, Mano.

Whose life are you living, anyway?

- I fell in love with you.

- Yeah.

And I fell in love with you.

You got me a ticket?

In case you change your mind.

I should go.

You babysit her, huh?

Hey, nice to meet you. Kathy.

Hi.

I'm sorry. I... I called. I just...

- Where's Mano?

- He moved back to Spain.

Thank you.

I should... okay.

Good luck, Jack.

Hey. Yeah.

Um, do you want to meet for a drink?

Hey.

Hey, handsome.

I didn't think you were gonna show.

Yeah. Sorry I'm late.

No worries. You're here now.

Two shots.

- We're celebrating?

- Sure.

So, I haven't heard from you in a while.

You still all loved up?

No.

Sorry to hear that.

Actually, I'm just having a

really hard time right now,

and I could really use a friend.

You coming in?

I can't, Jack.

Not even for a bit?

I thought maybe you could stay the night.

Look, you're a great guy,

and God knows I love hooking up with you,

but this isn't what I signed up for.

It's not what either of

us signed up for, right?

I got to go.

Okay.

Hobnobs?

I'm glad you called, son.

I really f***ed up, didn't I?

Hey, hang on.

Here... I want you to have this, Jack.

Sam.

It's seen too much just

to be sitting on a shelf

somewhere, gathering dust.

I can't.

You can. And you will.

Take beautiful pictures, Jack.

Thank you.

Okay. Okay.

Uncle Jack?

Are you going to live with Uncle Mano?

You know I can't do that.

But you love him, don't you?

I promised I'd never leave you.

Promises are for kids so they

don't feel scared about things.

Where'd you get all this?

I don't know.

But you guys should

just get married already.

And leave you here?

To be honest,

you've been pretty useless

since Uncle Mano left.

You want me to check for

monsters under the bed?

Don't be silly.

There are no monsters under the bed.

Of course there's not.

Night-night.

Good night, Uncle Jack.

- Hi.

- Hi.

How's it going?

Well, right now I'm trying to remember how

prokaryotic cells transfer genetic

information to other prokaryotic cells.

This test is tomorrow.

I haven't even gone through

half of these things.

- Want some help?

- I would love some.

Okay.

Lysosomes are not found

in prokaryotic cells...

true or false?

Lysosomes are only found

in eukaryotic cells.

The difference between prokaryotic

and eukaryotic cells is that

prokaryotic cells have no true nucleus

or membrane bound organelles

but eukaryotic cells do.

- Is that true or false?

- False.

Correct.

Okay. One down.

200 to go.

Hey, I'm really sorry about

what I said the other day.

You've been more of a father to Tara

than I could ever have hoped for.

I really couldn't have

done this without you.

- Yeah, you could.

- No. I couldn't.

Have you thought about

what you're gonna do?

No. I don't want to talk about it.

Uh, sporulation is initiated

by the lack of nutrients in the media...

- true or false.

- True.

Are you gonna move to Spain?

The cell compound labeled

7 in this diagram...

hey, I'm serious.

Tara's almost 8. I'm

almost done with school.

- Spain?

- Yeah. So what?

We'll come visit you.

You know your brother wanted her to

spend as much time in Europe as possible.

I can't just up and leave you guys.

You can.

You've been living our life

for the last eight years.

- It's what I wanted.

- I know.

I love Tara.

Of course you do.

But this is your life, Jack.

Right.

Prokaryotic cells transfer genetic

information by the use of...

"a," pili, "b," mitochondria,

or "c," flag-ela.

"A," pili.

Correct!

- Okay.

- Next.

I don't like this.

What do you mean you don't like this?

See?

I told you.

Well, they're not perfect.

Yeah, right.

They're great.

Sam, I could find a cup,

and you'd think it was great.

Here, look.

This is totally blown out.

Yeah, and you can fix that later.

Well, I know, but

if I'd got it right the first

time, I wouldn't have to.

It's beautiful.

Hm. I don't know.

You have too great an eye to...

- Hey.

- Hey. Uh,

- Mya, maybe we should...

- No. No, no. Please... stay.

I won't be long.

I never sent them in.

We're still married?

- Okay, Sam, maybe we should...

- Yeah, let's...

Take a closer look at these.

Look, I never meant to

hurt you. I just got scared.

We're still married?

I tried to mail them, but

I couldn't, for some reason.

- You had this the whole time?

- Yeah.

You can still get your green card.

I thought you'd be more happy.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

I think you should leave.

Ali! Ali! Wait, wait.

Thank you.

- Are you joking?

- No.

No.

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.

What you did for us, for me...

Jack, I know I put you through a lot.

No. I was selfish and single-minded,

and you put your whole life at risk.

Well, that's a little dramatic.

Do you forgive me?

I do.

Do you forgive me?

I do.

What are you gonna do?

Anyone want a piece of me?

- No, thank you, dear.

Okay.

This is it.

I'll see you real soon, okay?

- You promise?

- I promise.

Happy graduation.

- I love you.

- I love you, too.

- You take a lot of pictures, now.

- Yes.

Okay.

Come here, you.

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