I Love You, Alice B. Toklas! Page #6

- Hey, Murray.

- Harold.

- Hey, Joyce. Joyce, you look groovy.

- Harold! Oh, Harold!

I forgive you everything.

Come back to me.

You're a sweet person.

You have love in your heart.

- I love you, Harold. I love you.

- Joyce...

- Beat it, you hippy freak!

- I love you, sir!

- We have to go.

- Harold, come back to me.

- Come back to me. I love you!

- Joyce. Joyce!

You love Harold Fine. He no longer exists.

Let go of my beads.

He exists. You're standing right here.

I love you.

- Come back to me.

- Joyce, let go of my beads.

- You're hurting my neck.

- Harold, I love you.

- Joyce...

- Oh, please, Harold. I love you.

- Let go of my beads.

- Let's start from the beginning.

Let's start all over again, Harold!

I love you, Harold! Harold!

- This... Nancy.

- Yes, darling?

There's nothing about Warhol in here.

You know, Herbie said

it's the best picture he's ever made.

- Who's in it?

- Nobody. Just teeth.

Just teeth?

- Whose teeth?

- You know, teeth.

Animal teeth, insect teeth,

false teeth.

- Just shots of teeth.

- Oh, what a fantastic idea.

What an incredible conception.

Teeth, teeth and yet more teeth.

Teeth.

Is it in black and white

or color or what?

That's what's so groovy

about it, Harold.

I think it's whatever

you want to see in it.

- I think he's a genius, Harold.

- Yes, yes.

Yes, he's a genius.

Herbie said that

there's one sequence...

...in which they split the screen

about 32 times.

One for each tooth.

- Let's go tonight, Harold.

- Listen, I'd sooner take a bath.

- I'd like you...

- You know what...

- I wanna take a bath.

- No.

Yeah, I really

wanna take a bath, Nancy.

Hey, come here, baby.

I wanna have a bath with you.

Yes, could you tell me what time

Mondo Teeth starts?

- Time?

- Groovy.

- Are you sure you don't wanna go?

- I want you to take a bath with me.

- Rub my neck in the bath.

- Hey, Harold. Harold.

I want to see Mondo Teeth.

- How long is the movie?

- Six hours.

- Six hours?

- I'll see you after the movie.

- I'll rub you after the movie.

- I can't stay in a bath for six...

How are you gonna get there,

anyway?

- Hitch.

- Hitch?

Nancy, you know

I don't like you to hitch.

Don't get uptight, Harold.

I'm not getting uptight.

I just don't like you to hitch, that's all.

Anyway, if you get a hitch,

get a hitch from a lady.

Make sure she's not a dyke.

Mondo Teeth...

Oh, I could give her a mondo.

Hey, honey.

Oh, I'm so glad

you changed your mind.

It's so groovy in here.

It's totally groovy.

Oh, it's much better

than Mondo Teeth.

I'm totally immersed.

Totally immersed in liquid.

It's fantastic.

- Oh, honey, you're gonna love this.

- Hey, you're beautiful.

I just wanna shake your hand.

- I'm Big Bear.

- I don't think I know you.

I know you.

What a beautiful thing you've done.

- Oh, that's very nice of you.

- Hey, this is Love Lady and El Greco.

You're beautiful, Harold Fine.

Actually... It's very nice of you.

I'm trying to take a bath.

- Can I join you, man?

- No.

- I didn't know it was a bath.

- Yeah, that's what it is.

- Harold Fine, you're beautiful.

- Thank you, you're very sweet.

Would somebody get that?

- What is it?

- It's a telephone.

Oh, I'm sorry, man,

I've taken a vow against machinery.

Maybe...? Could somebody could...?

I'll get it. I'll get it.

Just a second.

I'll get it. I'll get it.

What, is this a water trip?

Excuse me.

Hello?

Hello. Yes. Oh, hi, Murray. Hi, hi.

The Rodriguezes?

Listen, Murray, listen.

- I am truly sorry about that.

- Here he is.

I'd appreciate

if you'd handle that for me.

That's the man

I was telling you about.

- Hello.

- There you are.

Okay, Murray, whatever you want.

- That's man in the water.

- He's a water tripper.

- How are you?

- How are you? Yeah.

- You that guy, man?

- Thanks very much.

I considered his manhood at all times.

I really did.

- That was always in my mind.

- I know.

- Well, you know that.

- You're a gem. Listen.

It's over. I know that.

What? You think Harold

is the first man who ever did this?

Believe me, it happens every day.

I never told you this, Joycella,

but my Ben had his fling too.

- Really?

- We were only two months married.

What happened?

Well, this fancy governess...

Oh, what am l...? "Governess."

What? She was a maid, you know.

Well, she used to wheel

this baby around in the park.

And while she was wheeling...

...she was wiggling her behind

at my Ben.

Oh, Ben was a handsome man

in those days.

- He ran off with a governess?

- Maid. Maid.

- But he came back.

- Well...

They all come back.

Oh, you must have been

so terribly hurt.

Joycella, women are built for hurt.

Don't worry.

The hood's okay, Mrs. Fine.

That'll be 3.20.

Thank you, George.

So how's the family?

Well, to tell you the truth,

Mrs. Fine...

...l've been having a little trouble

with my daughter.

Why? What's the matter?

Well, about a month ago she ran off

to San Francisco with a white boy.

- My wife's going crazy.

- Yeah.

Good morning, darling.

Good morning.

- Good morning, Harold.

- Oh, hi. Hi.

Good morning.

"That which is called

ego-death is coming to you.

Remember, this is now

the hour of death and rebirth.

Take advantage

of this temporary opportunity...

...to obtain the perfect state,

enlightenment.

Concentrate on the unity

of all living beings.

Hold onto the clear light.

Use it to attain understanding

and love.

If you cannot maintain

the bliss of illumination...

...and if you are slipping back into

contact with the external world"...

Oh, hi, Harold. Wanna get in?

Oh, no, thanks. No.

Groovy, groovy.

Hey, look what you've done

to the rug.

I'm sorry.

Why are you painting him?

- Because I like him.

- Yeah? What about me?

I like you too.

Is there anybody you don't like?

- Hey, Harold.

- Hey, Herbie.

- When did you get here?

- Last Thursday.

- Very, very, very groovy scene.

- Yeah, groovy.

Yeah.

Yeah, very groovy, yeah.

Yeah, this is really groovy.

Groovy. This is groovy.

- This is really...

- Harold.

Very groovy.

I'm really dragged.

That was a bad scene in there.

What?

- I can paint anybody I want to.

- Yeah?

You're really uptight about me.

- I dig you.

- You're making a marriage scene.

I thought you wanted

to be free, Harold.

You bet I wanna be free.

But I wanna be free with you alone.

But you're so possessive

you're making me uptight about us.

Your attitude is very unhip.

My attitude is unhip?

Don't give me that.

Don't... Listen, I'm probably

the hippest guy around here.

I got a house full of strangers.

I got cats, I got dogs,

I got pot, I got acid...

...I got LSD cubes.

I've got this thing here.

Don't tell me about hip.

I am so hip it hurts.

That's how hip I am.

It's very unhip

to say you're hip, Harold.

And it's very unhip of you

to tell me that I am unhip.

All right, come on in, everybody!

Come in.

Come in! It's open house.

Come in! Come... Ma?

- Ma. Ma.

- Where's the telephone?

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