I Love You Both

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- Happy birthday!

- Happy birthday!

Hee, can I open this?

Do you like it?

- Yeah, do you like yours?

- Yeah.

Do you like yours?

Yeah. Are you sure?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, cool.

Okay.

Knocky knock, hey.

You coming to the monthly

happy hour tonight?

I invited everyone but Scott,

so... you don't have to worry.

Why would you do

something like that?

He's gonna think

I asked you to do that.

Oh, because you still love him?

Nope, I just don't want

to keep talking about him.

Because you still love him.

- Hmm, that's not it again.

- Oh, okay.

But... anyway I can't go

tonight. Linda's having us over.

Oh yeah, that's right,

your surprise party.

Oh my god, I totally

just said that, didn't I?

Yes, you did.

Oopsie!

Krystal:
It's okay.

I already knew.

Well, don't tell Linda

that I told you, okay?

- Oh yeah.

- Anyway, you look really good.

Scott's gonna be jealous

like super soon.

- Thank you.

- Okay, have fun tonight, bye!

Okay.

- Donny:
Hey, Ted.

- Hey, Donny.

I'm really sorry, man.

I didn't really have time

to go home and get my checkbook.

Hmm, again, huh?

Yeah, anyway, is it okay

if I pay you next week?

Totally,

don't even worry about it.

- Thanks.

- Donny:
It's totally awesome.

- Right on.

- Thanks, Ted.

Hey, happy birthday.

Thanks, dad.

Hey, mom and I

got you a couple things.

Okay, talk about it later.

Hey, guys.

The thing that these...

Have in common here is that...

Ah, we don't really know.

If events worldwide

were an animal,

what animal would we be?

Black cat! I mean, Jaguar!

I'll take Jaguar.

Hey.

Hi, Linda.

You and Donny coming tonight?

Yep, you told me a year ago.

Yeah, don't come right at seven.

Come at like... 7:05.

Okay, 7:
05.

Just knock on the door

right at 7:
05,

because...

I'm busy before that.

Okay, sounds good.

Dean:
This is why

we're losing money.

Happy birthdays-es you guys.

Surprise!

Wow, that's really weird.

You put us in a heart?

You're one person in my heart.

It was cheaper for one graphic.

Blow them out!

Let's drink.

I mean, eat the cake

and then let's drink.

Linda:
Oh, that's perfect.

Taquito time!

Whatever happened

with that piano competition

you were doing? You were gonna

go on tour... or something?

Ivy, I told you.

- He didn't win.

- Oh.

Wrenn:
Don't make him

feel bad about not winning.

It's okay.

- Ivy:
I hit a nerve.

- Yes, you did, jeez.

Rubbing it in his face

that he lost, sorry.

Actually, I found

a manager, anyway.

- Ivy:
Oh!

- That's great!

So, sorry,

but how long do you try?

Do you keep trying, right?

Cause you could

be doing that forever

and never reap the fruits.

I have to talk to you

about something.

Absolutely not. If you talk

about work right now,

I'm gonna put a bullet

in my brain.

I don't want to talk about work.

I want you to meet someone.

No, just 'cause of the way

you said that I can't.

Trust me.

I know what I'm talking about.

- No.

- I've been divorced twice.

Antioxidants, anyway...

Who is that?

Linda:
Oh my god,

he's right here, Craig!

- Oh, god.

- What?

I know Craig.

Hi, Craig. How are you?

I started that new diet

like you said

and went to subway

and got one sandwich.

Yep, subway diet.

But then I went home

and ordered a pizza.

Eh, it happens.

Then I had

a tub of Ben and Jerry's.

Sounds like you're doing good.

With chocolate sauce.

All right,

maybe you should just give up

and kind of enjoy

you're at your best now.

What do you say?

She's right.

And I think, by the way,

beautiful,

that you're following

your passion, but at what cost?

Until you quit, right?

Or not quit, but find other

avenues for... um, success?

- Well, I think that's...

- Yeah, we don't know, right?

That's why

I got a business degree.

She did.

- And I'm so thankful for it.

- Ugh, me too.

Because, see, whereas you

are so specialized you only,

got a degree in music,

if that makes any sense,

whereas I kind of have mobility.

But it's good about the manager,

anyways.

That's a light

at the end of the tunnel.

It really is, yeah.

I guess, for you at this point.

I'm just thinking, thinking,

got it.

I just remembered

I have a friend

who studied tuba

in school and now he's making

all the music

for iPhone commercials.

We could slip his number to you

if and when the manager

doesn't really pan out.

He's always looking for interns

and he is, of course...

Much younger than you are.

Would that be weird, no?

Wrenn:
You could work

for a 16-year-old, right?

- He's gorgeous.

- Oh...

- I agree.

- And very strict.

Do you mind if I cut your face?

Oh my god, oh.

- Ah, that's funny.

- Oh, I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do it, oop, oop, oop.

Oh, I did it.

Sorry, face.

That's funny.

Uh, you come here a lot?

- What do you mean, the house?

- Mm-hmm.

No, Marina invited me.

- Did you meet online?

- No, I don't do online dating.

Oh yeah, no, me neither.

I've never even heard of that.

I, uh, just made it up.

Oh.

You look just like my

grandpa's old neighbor, Gus.

Uh, okay.

Yeah, it's uncanny.

Is Gus, like, 70?

- Nope, he's dead.

- Oh, wow, perfect, thank you.

Yeah, he was the best though.

He made his own

salt water Taffy.

- Oh, Taffy, nice.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, good old, old Taffy Gus.

- Krystal:
Yeah.

That is, uh,

sounds a lot creepier

than I thought

it was gonna sound. Yeah.

Yeah.

- Oh, uh-oh.

- Uh-oh, what?

Oh, I think I have to save

my brother from like a...

Probably

a terrible conversation.

- What do you mean?

- Uh, well, it's kind of weird.

We have a codeword for,

like, party emergencies.

- You have a codeword?

- Krystal:
Mm-hmm.

Oh, cool, so you guys are,

like, in third grade?

Ah, well, twins don't age so...

Who are you?

Oh, hey, I'm Andy.

- Krystal.

- It's, uh, nice to meet you.

Sorry about the frosting.

Oh, yeah,

you have really dry hands.

Andy:
Thanks.

Ivy:
Can I give you some advice?

Wrenn:
You're gonna love it.

Go home, right now.

Dispose of half of what you own.

Do it.

Is that your brother?

Mm-hmm, he looks sad.

That's the first thing

I noticed about him,

this deep, unfathomable sadness.

Holding back,

you are holding back.

Mm-hmm.

He's a good-looking dude.

Hmm.

Thanks for saving me.

I think that was gonna go on

another two hours.

No problem, that's the worst.

Andy's an art teacher and he's

reading the hobbit in German.

- Yeah.

- What's it called in German?

It's just called the hobbit.

There's no German word

for hobbit.

Donny:
Makes sense.

Um, how do you like teaching?

'Cause I teach piano

and I hate it.

Oh, I love it.

I teach elementary now,

but I used to teach high school,

"but, uh, there was

this one like 6'5" kid,

and, uh, I told him to go

to detention and he was like,

"f*** detention," and then

he stabbed me with a protractor.

Yikes.

No, no, no,

it was cool though I just...

I just went back

and beat the sh*t out of him.

Hmm.

I'm kidding.

I haven't actually,

uh, attacked a child.

He was really big,

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