I Love You Both Page #6

---

not even on the team.

I was like the mascot.

It was the worst.

Okay, um, do

you want another drink?

Oh, no, I think I'm okay.

I think I'm gonna get another

drink before the show starts.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Sh*t, uh, you think

Donny's okay, right?

Oh, yeah, I think, yeah.

Yeah?

Like he's just a perfectionist.

He's probably just taking

his time getting ready.

You think he's okay though,

right?

I think he'll be fine.

- Okay, I'll be right back.

- Okay.

Hey.

Hey.

That's really cute.

Thanks.

What's going on?

We can't talk to Andy anymore.

What, why?

He's crazy.

What?

What are you talking about, why?

He's an a**hole.

We can't talk to him anymore.

Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

Andy:
Krystal,

are you in there?

Don't answer it.

I have to let him in.

No, Donny, you don't.

What did he say to you?

I don't want to talk about it!

Why won't you tell me?

This is really weird.

How many times

have I texted you the code word?

I wouldn't have sent it

if I wasn't serious.

I know, but...

Andy:
Guys, what's going on?

Krystal.

Donny, don't answer it.

Well, what do you want to do?

We should probably leave.

I don't know how

we're gonna do that

because he drove us here, so...

We'll take the bus!

I'm not leaving.

I don't want to leave.

Krystal:
We have to.

We can't stay here

with this person. He's not nice.

Donny:
I like Andy, okay?

I'm not leaving.

I'm sorry.

I'm opening the door.

Fine, but if you do that,

I'm leaving.

Are you serious?

It was that bad?

Krystal:
Yes, I'm telling you.

Andy:
All right, I'm gonna

head back to the show.

Fine.

Let's take a bus then.

Herman, go to sleep.

You're making me sad.

God.

Come on, Herman, take a sh*t.

You're five years old and

you're still scared to go potty.

How was your weekend?

It was fine, how was yours?

Good, I got a new car.

It's a Mitsubishi.

That's nice.

Did you see, Andy?

What's wrong?

Nope, we're not talking

to Andy anymore.

What do you mean?

Didn't work out.

Are you crying?

No.

Krystal:
Yeah, you are.

You're crying.

I just thought he was

the one for you, you know?

You did?

I mean, you were saying horrible

things about him the whole time.

Jesus, calm down.

I feel really bad.

I know how painful this,

that this is.

I'm fine.

I gotta lie down.

I feel better.

Okay.

You know, when

Steve divorced me,

I went to Arby's every day

for three months.

I was scared for a minute,

but he's finally

walking again this week.

Did I tell you?

Krystal:
Why couldn't he walk?

Because of the roundhouse kick.

What, you thought I was kidding?

Yeah, kind of.

You want to tell me that

I taught middle-school tae Bo

for seven years, and I

can't deliver a nutcracker?

Think again.

I did not know you did that.

You should do some.

It makes you feel better.

Watch.

What?

This is how I kicked Steve.

You have to pivot

on the roundhouse, like this.

You should put your hip

to the target.

It's like this,

like this, like this.

Usually your hands are here

if you're defending yourself,

but if you're not, you just

get momentum, like this!

That was a good hit.

It feels good.

But, and, you, like, this!

- Do you want my car?

- What?

- It's a Mitsubishi.

- You'll like it.

I hate working here.

I saw some creative things

posted online.

I think I'm gonna apply.

Fine.

Do what you want.

I'm really proud of you.

Maybe you can still come

to lunch and learn, though.

Me, you, and Craig.

Maybe.

Probably not.

Hey, don't worry.

It gets better.

Thank you.

Oh, man.

Didn't think

you were home, Saul,

cause I didn't see

my car outside.

I still need it for a bit.

Okay, is it parked on

the street or something?

Yeah.

All right, well...

I'm definitely

gonna need it back today.

Who?

Oh, no, I was just saying I...

I definitely need

my car back today.

Who's that?

What?

I called them.

I called all of them.

Ray was a fruitcake!

Ray was a fruitcake!

Saul?

Hi, babe, what

are you doing here?

It's a really bad day.

Well, I ordered pizza.

Hey.

Hey.

Why don't you guys

go to the park, take a walk?

I'm not going

to the f***ing park.

Well, Krystal,

it's well-documented

that exercise relieves stress.

Look at me.

I took that class

for yoga for all body types.

I got enough serotonin

to fill the room.

Besides, it's not like

you have Hodgkin's.

You have a job.

Donny's manager died today.

Saul died?

Yep, worst part,

he lost Donny's car.

Drove it off

and couldn't remember where.

So there you go, Krystal.

You're always complaining about

working for a software company,

'cause it's not creative enough.

Have you applied

for anything else?

Nope.

If you don't like your job,

quit.

I told ya, you could do

anything you wanted.

Please stop saying that.

This is why I've been

delusional my whole life.

Why did you say we could

be anything we wanted?

Oh, I'm such a terrible mother.

What I meant was...

I would pay for it.

Why did you say we were better

than all of our boyfriends?

They're all married

and going to law school now.

This is why we're

never gonna meet anyone good.

Well, you're not lonely enough

to meet someone.

You spend all your time

together.

I don't want to hang out

with myself.

Char:

Well, you'll figure it out.

This has been a pleasant dinner.

Narrator:
The cunning python

waits patiently

for the spider monkey

in this grassy knoll.

Narrator:
There he goes.

I'm so sorry about Saul.

I didn't even know

he was that old.

Well, he was

like a hundred, so...

I mean, what did I think

was happening there?

Well, it always seemed

a little weird, I guess.

Why didn't you ever

say something then?

Krystal:
I don't know.

You seemed really excited

about working with him.

What did Andy say to you?

Just seems really weird

that he would...

Be so nice and then...

Did he say something about me?

I mean, I just know

you really liked him.

I just, I don't think

he felt the same way.

I just didn't want you

to get your feelings hurt.

I keep thinking of all

these things I wanted to say.

Well, I'm sorry.

I mean, I just don't ever

want to see you sad.

But, I'm still sad.

All right, well...

No more lying to each other.

Yeah, I know.

Recip-easy sucks.

I'm thinking about

getting my own apartment.

You want to move out?

I think I should.

Hey.

- Hey.

- Sorry I can't help you.

I just gotta go to work.

It's okay.

I think I can get it.

It's not that far.

Yeah, man, it's gonna be weird

not seeing you

all the time though.

I know.

But seriously,

it's not that far.

Yeah.

Man, but what if you're busy,

and I need to talk to you,

and I don't know

what you're doing?

Well, I guess we

can call each other.

Yeah, that's true.

All right.

- That sucked.

- Kid:
F*** you!

You should quit.

There's no point.

Kid:
Duh!

Ah, these kids nowadays, man.

They just don't have

the Patience for piano.

I know.

I totally get it. It's okay.

Yeah, it's like they just want

to do video games and hockey.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes