I Married a Witch Page #2

[ Jennifer ] Wooley!

I knew I recognized those features.

[ Daniel ]

Well, well, well.

A descendant of the man

who had us burned.

[ Cackling ]

[ Jennifer ]

No wonder he looks so unhappy.

I put a curse upon his family.

[ Giggles ]

Well, I thought lovebirds

always flew around in pairs.

Estelle's talking politics.

- What's the matter? Election jitters?

- No.

How can I lose, with Masterson

and all his papers in back of me?

My future father-in-law

has never backed a loser.

If he spoils his record this time,

I'll have to hock my stethoscope.

You're betting on a sure thing, Dudley.

He isn't missing a trick. Look at that.

Posters at a private party.

The whole marriage is just

another campaign stunt to him

insisting we hold it

the day before the election...

so I'll get a good

publicity break on election day.

Wallace, I think

you've had enough to drink.

- Now, Estelle

- I'd like to go home.

Yes, dear.

Can we drop you, Dudley?

Yes, thanks.

[ Jennifer Snickering ]

The curse is working.

She has the look of a shrew!

Here, Tom.

Jennifer, what's that curse

thou wast chattering about?

[ Jennifer ] Each Wooley

must marry the wrong woman.

[ Daniel ]

Ha! What a curse!

Every man who marries...

marries the wrong woman.

True suffering cometh...

when a man is in love

with the woman he cannot marry.

Father, suppose a man

were in love with a witch.

With me.

I would not marry him.

[ Daniel ] Ha!

[ Hiccups ] Ooh, pardon me.

I need air.

For tonight

I'll merry, merry be

Tomorrow I'll be sober

[ Drunkenly ]

Let's get out of here.

Let's go for a little ride.

[ Whistles ]

Broom!

Father, give me a body.

[ Daniel ] Oh, no.

[ Chuckles ]

Thou didst get into enough

trouble with thy last one.

[ Jennifer ] Thou canst not

give me a body.

Thou wouldst not even know

how to begin.

[ Daniel ]

No? I'd merely make a little fire.

[ Hiccups ] As thy last body

was destroyed by flame...

thy new one would be

born in flame!

[ Jennifer ] Prove it.

Start that great house on fire.

[ Daniel ] A hotel for pilgrims.

[ Chuckles ]

'Twould be a pleasure

burning that.

All right, I will.

Worra, worra, fizzle, dizzle...

let the flame begin to sizzle!

P-I-L-G-R-I-M...

H-O-T-E-L!

- [ Cackling ]

- Good-bye, Father.

Good-bye, Jennifer.

Be a bad girl.

- That's the Pilgrim Hotel!

- It would have to be

on our way home.

- [ Bell Clanging ]

- We'll have to stop.

You wouldn't go through fire

for your future wife? [ Chortles ]

Boy, look at those flames.

I never saw such a fire.

- Is there any way we can get through?

- Sorry, Mr. Wooley. It's all blocked off.

- Some firebug must've touched this off.

- He did a good job!

This is the craziest fire

I've ever seen!

Laps up water like a cat!

- You're sure everybody got out?

- Yes, sir. We've checked every room.

Yeah, they're all

accounted for.

It's all right, men. Everybody's safe.

Get these people back.

We're stuck here

for a while.

Tell them who you are.

They'll have to make way.

- I'm sorry, Estelle.

- Wallace, where are you going?

- There's Mr. Wooley!

- [ People Clamoring ]

- Make way for Wooley.

- Make way for the next governor.

- Would you like to go through?

- Yes, thank you.

Folks, let him get by.

- I'm voting for you.

- There goes a great guy.

- Hello, Mr. Wooley.

- Hello.

Don't get too close.

I got a bet riding on you.

- How did it happen?

- Nobody seems to know.

There was an explosion on the roof.

The top floor went like that.

Then the fifth,

then the fourth.

Now it's on the third. Soon it'll be

on the second, and then the first...

then it'll all cave in on the basement.

[ Laughing ]

- What's so funny?

- Oh, it's fully insured...

and I love

building new things.

I want to build it

in a classic gothic design.

- Don't you love gothic? Huh?

- Quiet.

What was that?

Did you hear that voice?

[ Bell Clanging ]

Somebody's inside.

Listen!

I didn't hear anything.

It was so clear!

A woman's voice.

Aw, there's nobody in there.

They've looked everywhere.

No, wait. Wait.

There it is again!

[ Jennifer ]

Here I am, Mr. Wooley.

- Over here.

- Where?

I-I can't see!

Just walk.

You'll find me.

Keep walking.

This way. This way.

- Are you all right?

- I think so.

Two legs, two arms,

a face, hair.

- Yes, I seem to be complete.

- Why don't you come out?

I've been waiting for you,

Mr. Wooley.

- Where are you?

- You're getting warmer.

Here's my hand.

How can I get you out?

I can't see a thing.

I can see you.

How do you do?

Never mind.

Let's get out of here!

- Have you a gazing glass?

- A what?

A mirror.

I want to see what I look like.

- At a time like this?

- Oh, I'm cold.

- Cold? In this furnace?

- But I have no clothes.

No clothes?

Here, put this on.

[ Coughing ]

How did you get here?

From the top floor.

Why do you look away?

Am I not pretty?

Who cares? Come on.

- [ Jennifer Coughing ]

- Get up, get up!

[ Jennifer Laughing ]

I can't!

Here, I'll carry you.

Legs are funny when you're

not used to them, aren't they?

- Huh?

- Why are you in such a hurry?

Why? The whole building

was on the third floor,

and now it's fallen to the second.

When this ceiling gives way,

we'll be buried alive.

[ Jennifer ]

Nothing will happen to us.

- You don't know

what you're talking about.

- Yes, I do.

Ah! Here's a door!

Here!

- [ Bell Clanging ]

- Oh!

- [ People Shouting, Screaming ]

- Oh!

This way's blocked.

The bars on the window.

Quick

- Where are you?

- I've found a better coat.

And a mirror!

Mm, not bad.

Oh, I'm a blond.

Would you rather

I be a brunette?

If you don't get out of this fire,

you'll be a redhead!

Don't you realize

- [ Masonry Crashing ]

- [ People Screaming ]

That was the second floor.

Well, there's no way out.

We're goners, little girl.

Perhaps I should be little.

I'm just as high

as your heart.

Did you hear what I said?

We're trapped.

Just we two.

Look, before I got here...

what what hit you

on the head?

I felt nothing

until your hand touched mine.

Oh, I see.

Well, it was nice meeting you.

Oh, would you like

to leave now?

It would be a pleasure...

but that door is now a wall.

Oh. Then we can use

the one behind the screen.

- Quick! It's our only chance!

- I want to fix my hair.

Come on,

while you still have a head!

[ Rumbling ]

[ People Screaming ]

Do you like blonds?

May I get a picture?

Hold it right there.

He saved somebody!

[ Officer ]

Stand back, people.

- Are you all right?

- I guess so.

- You certainly gave me a scare.

- Wally...

- take me away from these people.

- Here, Dudley.

She's suffering from shock.

Well, uh [ Chuckles ]

guess I'd better take you to a hospital.

Oh, well,

I hope she's all right.

It's only natural

for you to be concerned.

Estelle, I've told you a dozen times.

There's no point in Well?

It's amazing.

Not a scratch on her. Not a burn.

- You must be relieved.

- You've known me all my life.

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