I Really Hate My Job Page #5

your right to that belief.

But if you were to believe it

for more than about...

two minutes,

then we'd have to discuss

your future shift allocations.

Fair answer.

[laughs]

Table four it is, then.

[exhales]

[water running]

[woman vocalizing]

# Yeah, yeah, yeah #

[laughs]

[sighs]

Did I ever tell you

about Salvadore?

No.

He was a communist, too.

Was he?

If it weren't for

the tragedy of his violence...

The tragedy of his violence?

I thought

the thieving was petty.

I mean, he was

the kind of guy

who cried over leaves

falling off trees.

And can I go with him?

He wanted me to go

with him. Yes.

And can I lend him some money?

So I say, "Sure. Why not?"

'Cause I had

a little money saved.

And then I discovered

about the guns.

Rita, can we just finish what

we have to do here, please?

Okay.

So tell me what

you want me to do.

Have we decided yet?

He should be here

any minute.

Stay calm. Stay calm.

[woman] Do you mind

going through the menu?

My eyesight's really bad.

Sure. Um, French onion soup

for starters

with crustini linguine

with Sicilian tomatoes and basil

finished with an aged

Castellini parmesan.

Rocket salad with crushed broad

beans from the vale of Evesham

served

with baked goats cheese...

He'll look at me

and just think, "No."

Or he wouldn't even say no.

He just won't notice me.

Shropshire lamb shanks

marinated in Puglian red wine...

Dismiss my whole life

without letting me

give him any real reason

to reject me.

If only he would

give me that chance.

...with a Roman

telleglio risotto.

Sides are green salad,

beans, or spinach.

Is the salmon very filling?

Well, that depends

on how much you like to eat.

I'm sorry?

How could I possibly know

what you need or like?

Or if you have, say,

eating disorders

or dairy

or wheat intolerances

or if you are

a glutton or a picker.

I am not psychic.

Oh, God, I am so sorry.

I think we'd better go

somewhere else.

I'm real sorry. I'm just

a little strung out tonight.

- I'm sorry, too.

- [Madonna] Thank you.

I really like your shirt.

It's my birthday.

Is that really necessary?

Yes.

Why?

Because I want to leave

this place clean.

Obviously.

I mean, leave it, leave it.

As in I am leaving it.

What do you mean?

Have you noticed

I'm a dishwasher?

Uh, yeah.

And you don't think

I should aim a little higher?

- Of course I do.

- [clattering]

I've been half asleep.

- Can we discuss this later?

- Yeah. Sure.

Defer any real

discussion again.

[Madonna] Order.

[Rita] Great.

[Madonna] Salmons.

[sighs]

God, Greg bizarrely

just phoned me

asking about takings.

As if I can

predict takings

on a night

that's still young.

The world is

a complex beast, isn't it?

That's because

it's full of humans.

Madonna, I may as well

tell you now. I quit.

What?

I'm giving you

a month's notice.

Why?

Because I think workers

deserve more respect

than is given here.

How have I not

shown you respect?

That you don't know

the answer of this question

is significant.

Rita, like I said before,

I think it's really great

that you are expressing

your confusion about

your role here.

Aah!

How can I be confused

about dishwashing?

There is

no confusion here.

I'm really sorry,

but I really need you

to understand

that I'm really

very busy right now,

and I would be very happy

to discuss this

with you later,

but right now I really need

to get these meals out.

Okay. Eleven.

You're really quitting?

Yeah. I'm going to Chile.

He rang me.

Chile? Huh?

Oh, Jesus, Alice,

haven't you been listening?

Not the "tragedy

of violence" guy.

Yeah. Salvadore.

[clanking]

Madonna, the lights have gone.

Repulsive.

[sniffles]

He was arrested.

What? When?

When we were

practically kids.

I went to prison

for a little while, too,

as an accessory.

When I was released,

I wasn't allowed

to contact him.

I thought

I'd never see him again.

Ay!

- But then he rang me.

- Sh*t!

Pick up. Pick up.

And, Madonna,

can you get in here?

The electricity's

gone again.

[Suzie] Abi, I need

some help on the floor.

Join the club.

Abi, can I have

two house white--

What are you doing?

I think there's some fruit

stuck in the plug.

Can you

do it later, please?

Really lodged in there.

It's really solid fruit.

Oh, my god.

Did anyone see that?

[Abi retching]

No one is gagging.

At least no customers

are gagging.

[Abi] Oh, my god.

Is this what my life

has come to?

Oh, my god. Dead rodents

are really bad for business.

[Abi retching]

Can't work like this.

Alice.

So how did he get

your number?

I don't know.

Google?

Your phone number's

in Google?

What if he doesn't live up

to your memory of him?

He would have still

served his purpose.

Which is?

A reminder

of possibility.

Everything

all right here?

Yeah. Lovely.

Great.

[both gasp]

Omni ma shivayar.

Omni ma shivayar.

[exhales]

Suze, could you please

wrap up the vessel?

Wash your hands

afterwards, please.

Abi, could you

disinfect yours?

- The vessel?

- Yes, Suzie.

That's all that poor rodent

is now-- an empty vessel.

There's nothing

to be frightened of.

You know the feeling

when you're walking up

the aisle of a plane

and you have to pee

and it's kind of embarrassing

because everybody knows

you're about to pull

your pants down?

Well, that reminds me

of waitressing.

Everyone f***ing knowing

that you're the one

whose career

is either f***ed up

or hasn't happened yet,

the one who is metaphorically

pulling your pants down

eight times a week.

You've got to stop this.

God, he is so late.

[Madonna] Hello there.

Can I take your name, please?

[man #1] Huston.

[Madonna] Huston.

Excellent.

Come in.

Sir, if you'd like

to come round.

[man #2] Thank you.

- [Madonna] Just three?

- [man #2] Yes.

[man #1] We are three. Yes.

Three of them?

Only three old people?

And no Danny.

Career. That's what happens

when you lose control

of a car on a wet road

and it slams

into a brick wall.

Crash.

[Rita] It's not going

to be easy going back

after all these years.

I don't know.

Sounds like you've

made up your mind, though.

It's not that simple.

Okay, just do

what you have to do, Rita.

Okay, Mrs. Clarity,

when was the last time you

knew what you really wanted?

I know exactly

what I want.

What?

I want to want the last

six years of my life

not to be a waste of time.

I wanna publish a book.

I wanna live a rewarding life.

And when was the last time

you wanted to make love?

- Rita.

- When?

[Alice] Christ,

what I want is a clean pan.

Mineral water, please.

- Fissy.

- I'm sorry?

Fissy.

Fissy water.

Fissy. Oh. Fizzy.

Sure.

Is anyone else coming?

May I see

the wine list, my dear?

Sure. I'll get you one.

Anyone hungry?

Something to nibble?

I think we just wait

for Danny.

[Chorus]

# Hallelujah #

# Hallelujah #

# Halle-lujah #

Sure.

I wonder if they're

his grandparents.

Oh, God, I hate it

when Madonna does

that "kneel down to take

Rate this script:3.0 / 2 votes