I Sell The Dead Page #3

Willie?

What?

Look at this.

What, we don't know her, do we?

Oh, that's odd.

Look at its eyes.

Maybe we should just leave it.

No.

Have that bastard Quint on our tails?

It's a perfectly good piece.

What's that around her neck?

That's... that's garlic.

Ronnie's got that stuff

all over the Fortune of War.

Keep things away from the place.

Garlic?

It's stinky.

Don't do that.

That's there for a reason.

Gob shite superstition, Willie.

Who would do a thing like that?

I don't know, but I'm glad they did.

This piece will put us in

good standing with Quint.

Pull it out.

No way, mate.

I dare you.

No way, I say.

You're out of your head.

Help me.

Come on, help me.

Come on.

Let's get the corpse in the cart.

Oh, look at this mess.

What we need is a new cart, Arthur.

Something roomy.

How are we even gonna

fit the corpse in there?

Willie.

Let's get the hell out of here.

Maybe she wasn't dead.

Not exactly alive neither.

Un...

Dead.

Bollocks, shite.

What do you like, Grimes?

What do you like?

Hey, do you hear that?

No, I do not.

Willie.

Arthur.

Willie.

Missus?

You all right?

I think it's gone.

Why did you have to hit me?

It was all on you.

What else was I suppose to do?

Ow.

Look.

Ah, you're bleeding.

You keep away from me.

You might be inflicted.

Oh, shut up.

What time is it, huh?

How should I know?

I think it's getting lighter.

Yeah.

I think it might be gone.

Can we go then?

Yeah, I think so.

Willie!

That was mad.

Get back, get back.

What?

Get back, Arthur.

What are you doing?

- Watch this.

- What are you doing?

Oy, you mad bastard,

come on let's go.

Leave it.

Don't do that.

Don't, you mad bastard,

don't do that, don't.

Come on, let's go, Willie.

Let's go; I wanna go.

I've got an idea.

Thank you for your

sacrifice, my child.

After that job, we were

never bothered by Quint again,

and we struck gold with the undead.

We realized that people

would pay ten times as much

for your more unusual corpse.

And the jobs kept finding us.

It was as if we opened

the door to another world

and got a sniff of it,

or it got a sniff of us.

Came across a whole many

of things after that.

So trafficking the undead

was more lucrative, eh?

Absolutely.

That's where the real money was.

That's how it was for a while

for me and old Willie Grimes,

making good money snatching all

sorts of things dead, undead.

And, uh, who paid you?

A select few.

Those who realize the potential.

Of course, it didn't

always go according to plan.

There were times when we'd go to

the trouble of unearthing things

only to have them stolen from us.

Snatched by a rival gang.

Sometimes at knifepoint.

Rival gangs.

Right bunch of

conniving swines they were.

You see, Willie and I,

we were more your kind

of happy-go-lucky types.

But, you know, some people took things

a little bit more seriously.

Some of them were real creeps.

Such as?

We had run-ins with a crowd of lunatics

called the House of Murphy.

Ah, the famed House of Murphy.

I've heard many stories about

Cornelius Murphy and his gang.

Hated us they did.

You see, we'd like to get in

and out the yards unnoticed.

But they would make this

big song and dance out of it.

He made us look like a

right bunch of amateurs.

You have any recent encounters

with the House of Murphy?

Yeah, unfortunately, yes.

But let me tell you about this one time.

Strangest job I ever pulled.

It was most bloody peculiar.

You know, if you were to

drop down dead right now,

I would sling you in that

cart and call it a night.

You wouldn't get a penny

for my whisky-logged corpse.

Hey, if I croak before you

do, feel free to make a penny.

I won't hear of it.

It's not proper.

Would you really try to sell me off?

I might.

The bloody cheek.

Do you like my new cart?

It's quality.

Very modern.

Thought I might do a bit

of shite shoveling with it.

You know, running after the horses,

collecting their shite

to sell for compost.

Well, it's good money, and it's legal.

Hugo Fortune got me onto it.

Mind you, I haven't bothered yet.

Are you interested?

I could loan you out the cart.

No chance.

So what did Ronnie say

about this piece, then?

He said there's a corpse out here

that not only won't jump

up and try to kill us,

it'll fetch us a small fortune as well.

That's a bit curious, isn't it?

Bollocks.

Oh, f*** you, Grimes.

"Quality," what a piece of shite.

Get the shovels.

It's frozen.

What?

The ground.

It's frozen.

That's gonna take

all night to dig out.

Why is it frozen?

Nowhere else is.

Well, if whatever it is

that's down there is frozen,

then I'm a happy man.

'Cause if it's frozen,

it won't be jumping about the place

trying to murder us.

I suppose.

It's a bit unusual.

Ah, yes, Arthur, it's curious.

All right, I'll start it.

You can finish it.

Bugger.

Ah.

Looks like a child's coffin.

Do they want the box and all?

Yeah, they said not

to even try to open it.

I'm not carrying that thing back.

It's freezing.

Well, we should smash it open.

Oh, fetch more if we don't.

Ow.

Oh, that hurt.

Hey, give us your knife.

If I can wedge this in.

I'm telling you, be careful.

Ow, ow, my fingers, freezing over.

Let's just kick it back.

No, no, no, let's

wrap it and carry it.

Wrap it with what?

Ah, it's heavy.

That's no child in there.

It's heavy.

Look at that.

What do you reckon that is?

Don't know.

Never seen anything like it.

It's not moving, is it?

No.

Could be from Dotsie's,

you know, the circus?

Could be a little freak from Dotsie's.

I don't think so.

I don't think that thing is

from anywhere near Dotsie's.

Look at the size of its head.

Well, be easier to move now.

It's not as cold as it was in the box.

All right. All right.

Let's get out of here.

Come on.

Good evening to you, gentlemen.

Now, if you don't mind terribly,

you'll be dropping that

corpse off for me now.

Willie, do you know this a**hole?

Cornelius, don't mind the young fellow.

He's a little fresh around the ears.

Hand that there over now, boy.

Arthur meet Cornelius Murphy.

Now, be a pet and hand

him over the whatsit.

Having a laugh, aren't you?

I'd listen to your boss if

you want to live past tonight.

That's a good lad.

Now pass it along.

Don't be stupid, Arthur.

Do as the gentleman says.

I'll explain later.

On the ground there.

Do it.

Afraid I can't do that.

You see, this took us

a few hours to dig up.

Now that we've got it, I

don't want to give it back.

Drop it and live.

Drop the corpse.

What?

Oh, my head.

I admire your pluck, lad.

When you're through fumblin'

about cemeteries with this fool,

come and call on the House of Murphy.

Somebody snatched our snatchins.

I think I'm in the

wrong line of business.

I'm all light-headed.

How did they manage it?

Hey, who did you say that was again?

That was Cornelius Murphy,

and you're lucky to be alive.

I think he just offered me a job.

What and leave a

good thing like this?

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