I Served the King of England

I SERVED THE KING OF ENGLAND

Correctional Facility

Prague

I was sentenced to 15 years,

but because of the amnesty

I only served 14 years, 9 months.

It was always my luck

to run into bad luck.

My whole life, I aspired solely

to becoming a millionaire.

But before that

I wanted nothing more

than to peddle frankfurters

at the train station.

I'm hungry.

Forget the coins,

just give me back the bills!

And I sold

those frankfurters so well

that I was determined

to become a millionaire.

Then I'd buy a small hotel

and marry a rich bride

and when my wife

and I put our money together

I'd be respected

like the other hoteliers.

Everyone would recognize me

as a rich man as a millionaire.

I was even able

to cry at the station.

And because I was small,

perfectly piccolo,

They let me have the money

because they took me for an orphan.

So I started

having money of my own.

Within a month I had a couple

hundred, then even 1000 crowns.

And I discovered

what motivates people

and what they're willing to do

for a few coins:

They'll bend over, kneel down,

even crawl on all fours.

I used to daydream about

scooping up fistfuls of coins

and scattering them

like a shower of seed.

I saw almost no one could

resist collecting those coppers,

how they'd jostle each other and

butt heads to snatch them up,

coins they all thought

were theirs and theirs alone.

But that was long ago.

After they released me, they said.

I could find

whatever work I pleased

on the condition

that it be near the border.

They sent me to be a roadman

faraway in the mountains

where resettled Germans

had abandoned their cottages

They even gave me

the key to one of them.

And the unbelievable, which was

becoming reality, did not desert me.

I knew that another person

would have fled from here

as from a place of ill fortune.

But I rejoiced

to see such devastation.

I knew that I would like it here,

that this would be my new home.

I considered it a good omen

that the key fit a former pub

because I started out in a pub

and I had worked

in the hotel trade my whole life.

I was small, from a small village,

and here it felt

like the big world.

A select society came:

The notary and the stationmaster,

the veterinarian, the music

school master, the industrialists...

They could sip beer all afternoon

discussing, for example,

a poplar that stood outside town

by a bridge 30 years ago.

One would say that there

had been no bridge, only a poplar.

Another said the bridge

was just a plank and a handrail.

They shouted and cursed.

But it was alljust pretend.

They only shouted so as

to enjoy the beer all the morel

Do you think

I should move my bishop to G7?

Move your knight

to C5 and you'll win.

Mr. Dite,

mind your own business!

Hold on there... That shrimp

is right. Checkmate!

Another time they argued

about the best beer in Bohemia.

One said Protivin,

another Vodnany, another Nymburk,

- and another said...

- Pilsner is known the world over!

And although they shouted

they all liked each other.

They only shouted

as a way of killing time.

And I was amazed at how rich

people can enjoy themselves all afternoon.

Except from the lungs, I'd like

every main course you have.

Bring one after another

until I say to stop.

Then bring four mineral waters

and a pound of salami to my room.

Thus I came to know Mr. Walden.

He liked me most probably

because he was as small as I.

I Represent Van Berkel & Co.

The largest firm in the world

is the Catholic Church.

They deal in something

no one has ever seen or touched:

Namely that which we call God.

The second largest,

Van Berkel, makes scales

that weigh accurately whether

at the equator or the North Pole

We also make al kinds

of meat and salami sheers.

Observe the charm

of this instrument...

Ever seen anything more beautiful?

It took me a week to earn

everything you see on the carpet.

I sold ten scales and

seven meat and salami sheers.

I buy, I sell, I know

what to buy and where to sell.

That's al there is to it.

I saw you selling

frankfurters at the station.

I've also seen what you do

with your loose change.

But you have to know how

to throw your change away

so that it comes back

as banknotes.

Hang in there! You're small

and from small people.

You're going places.

Remember, it's in your blood.

Money can lay the world at your feet!

Remember, my boy,

if you succeed,

life can be beautiful,

so beautiful!

An image of myself had come to me.

I would lay out all the money

I earned just like that.

On the floor, I would arrange

an image of my abilities, my power.

But now the only thing

I 'arrange' is the gravel.

I myself have crushed

to lay a road with.

More and more I conflate

maintaining this road with maintaining my life,

a life which, in hindsight, seems

as if it happened to someone else,

a life which seems

like a novel written by another.

Welcome! Did they send you

here as punishment too?

Punishment?

- Nobody's here for just no reason.

- No?

My name is Marcela.

I apprenticed at the chocolate

factory in Orionka.

My name is Dite. I'm supposed

to lay gravel on this road.

We're here to find trees

with melodies in them. Music.

Spruce trees like this are scarce.

Music has been preserved in it.

We'll take this tree

to an instrument factory,

and it'll be cut up

into planks and thin boards,

then made into violins and cellos,

string instruments of music.

- I m here being punished too.

- Punished?

Because like to... dance.

Mankind is a progeny evil,

stupid and criminal.

That man is here

for some reason too, right?

I'd say he was

university educated.

He taught

French literature and esthetics.

- How did you know?

- By his fingers.

And your eyes tell me

that you like the male species.

I like to dance,

and to go with whoever I please.

I knew right off

that she was from reform school,

or was one of those girls who

stands by Prague's Powder Tower.

And I longed

to slowly undress her.

If not in fact

then at least with my eyes.

I actually surprised

and I found it a good sign

that that young redhead

had awoken desire in me

after all those years.

You re a trainee so remember:

You see and hear nothing. Repeat!

I see nothing, I hear nothing.

Remember this too: You must

see and hear everything. Repeat!

I must see and hear everything.

Come on in, miss.

Hurry or you'll get wet. Come!

Please, have a seat.

Like a toddy? Here...

Go ahead.

Ah, it stopped raining.

- Thank you.

Oh, no, that's alright.

That's the new girl from Paradise.

Her name is Jaruska.

The veterinarian was seen

Thursday at Paradise.

Oh yes it is!

And he took a room with Helena!

And, gents, it was

Wednesday not Thursday!

But not Helena,

It was long-legged Vlasticka.

Long-legged Vlasticka,

the one with...

So i began to hear nothing

and yet hear everything,

to see everything

and yet see nothing.

And now I only wanted to hear

and see everything at Paradise.

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