I Spy Page #3

A lame-ass party that end at 11:00.

Let that sh*t go, man.

- Drop the sh*t.

- Okay.

- I'll get T.J. Or Jerry to get me in.

- Yeah, go get T.J. He'll help you.

I just hope that the optical

diaphanous polyalloy transducers...

...can fit on one of their retinas.

What you say?

What you got over there?

It's one of the things we've got

for the mission. It's cool.

It opens up. I put this little camera

in my eye...

...and I give this to T.J.

Then he can see everything I see.

Wait. I don't want T.J.'s eye juices

on something that goes in my eye.

Maybe I should try it.

What you call it?

- Polyalloy transducers.

- The polyalloy should be for me.

Let me put it in my eye, then.

- I put this in my eye?

- Put it in your eye.

- This is some spy sh*t?

- Yeah.

Okay, I'll put this in.

And I got

the camera in my eye.

What's gonna happen now?

Can you see anything?

What about now?

- Hey, I see me!

- Look, watch this.

That's bad. Sh*t, now I see the TV.

I'm seeing what you seeing.

- Exactly.

- I see me looking at you looking at me!

Hey, Kelly Robinson.

Look at this. Put this behind

your ear. It's a listening device.

- Just stick it back here?

- Can you hear me?

Yeah, it sound like you

in my head. Sh*t, I like this!

We'll do that on the mission.

- At 11:
00, though.

- No, not 11:
00.

I already spoke. Kelly Robinson

has spoke. I said 11, it's 11.

It's a dead issue. Let it go.

I said 11, goddamn it!

Get out my face!

- That sh*t is bad.

- Then give them back.

I ain't giving back sh*t. Take them.

That look like I'm yelling at me.

Take them!

I'm Kelly Robinson, baby, 57 and 0!

I'll kick your ass!

This is what it look like when I'm

whupping somebody's ass.

That's scary. Kelly.

Oh, yeah, that's scary.

Look at that move.

Kelly Robinson.

Why you staring at me?

Do something.

- Okay, Kelly.

- I heard that in my head.

You looking in the cockpit right now.

That's a trip.

- What's our altitude?

- About 37,000 feet.

- Is that a Cessna on the horizon?

- Where?

Surfer boy!

- You seeing this?

- What are you doing?

- Come fly the plane.

- Wake him back up!

- He fell asleep.

- You put that dart in his back!

- I thought you knew how to fly it.

- Wake him up.

I don't know how to fly it!

He put it on automatic for me!

The deal is, we go at 8,

and I wake the pilot up.

Okay, then let the plane crash.

Let it crash.

You know that ride I just took?

Get ready for a great ride.

I'm ready to die, baby.

I'm Kelly Robinson.

Death? That's how I feel

about death. Go on. Crash it.

This is getting crazy.

Wake the man up.

- Do we have a deal?

- Yes. Just wake the man up!

- Hey, Ken. He ain't woke.

- He'll wake up. He'll be fine.

- So you a pilot this whole time?

- I can fly a little.

Okay, I see how this is gonna work.

I ain't coming to no party at 8:00.

I told you 11:
00. Here's your eye.

- Hey, be careful with that.

- Hey, my ass.

If you broke something in my plane,

if something in my plane is broke...

You in trouble, T.J.

Oh, God.

It wasn't my fault, man.

It was Mission Man.

I'm going downstairs! No, we in

the basement. I'm going upstairs.

You got five minutes to get me

the most expensive suite...

...or else, T.J.! Or else!

- Or else what?

I don't know what else, because

I don't think good underground.

But whatever it is, it's gonna be bad!

Let me tell you something.

You falling off. You're gonna

be back in St. Louis, frying fish.

Now, you mess up one

more time again. I'm waiting.

Please do it one more. Just please.

One more time.

One more time. Please let him do it

one more time.

Oh, my God.

Hey! How's the room?

My room is fine. Oh, did I say

11? I meant to say 12. Maybe.

- What's with the attitude?

- Excuse me!

- Kelly Robinson? The famous boxer?

- Yeah, one and the same, baby.

- I can't believe it!

- It's a big thrill for you, huh?

You don't know. I know you from

the advertisement for your perfume.

- Kelly Robinson. TKO.

- TKO. That's right.

It's not perfume. It's cologne.

Perfume is for ladies and sissies.

I put out cologne.

I so stupid.

So, Kelly, tell me...

...do you really wear it?

Well, you tell me.

I'd love to go to your room

and get your autograph.

Is that right? I'd really love to, but

unfortunately, my room ain't ready.

Let's go to mine. Is very...

...very close.

- Hey, hey.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Excuse me.

- No. Come here for a second.

- Excuse me.

- What's wrong with you?

- What are you doing?

Nothing. But if you let go

of my arm...

...I'm gonna go across

and wax that ass.

You are a spy right now.

I can't have you running off...

...with a strange Hungarian woman.

I'm Kelly Robinson. Going off

with a strange woman is what I do.

Mind your own business.

Have a good evening, all right?

- I'm just jealous.

- I know, but she chose Kelly.

I'll hit it once for you, all right?

- See if she's got a sister.

- Lf so, it'll be the three of us.

Why don't you go see the city?

What you say your name was?

- Are you going to scream it?

- I will scream your name if I know it.

I had a couple of interesting

situations where...

- What happened?

- The girl tried to press charges...

Hey, slow it down!

I got a lady over here.

Hey, that's some serious road rage.

What's up, man?

What's all this?

How long have you been working

for the U.S. Government?

- I work for Kelly Robinson.

- There was BNS agent on your jet.

- I don't know.

- Who was he?

- You've been reading spy novels.

- Maybe we should cut off his penis.

Cut off my penis? What happened

to "rough the man up"?

- Cut it off!

- Wait a second!

You ain't cutting off nobody's penis!

I'll answer all your questions, but...

- Who's the agent?

- I'm not sure if he's an agent.

- Who's the agent?

- I don't know if he's an agent or not!

- He's 5 foot 9. Blond hair...

- His name?

I'm not sure, but he's very annoying.

He's definitely a BNS agent.

His name?

Y'all got these knives and guns

pointing at me, so I'm blocking!

He got one of them white names.

Alan or...

- Take off his pants.

- Why you gonna take my pants off?

Please don't cut off

Kelly Robinson's penis.

Freeze!

Kelly! Kelly, shoot her!

Shoot her!

Did I kill her?

Not yet.

- Stop shooting that.

- What the hell's going...?

I'm sorry, I'm being rude.

Special Agent Rachel Wright.

- Nice to officially meet you.

- You're a spy!

Don't tell anyone.

- You're all BNS?

- It's all BNS.

- Big fan, Mr. Robinson!

- Crazy way of showing it.

- God, Alex, you been working out?

- Yeah, a little. Why?

- You just got buff.

- Just doing curls.

Two, three drops of me

come out of this.

Alex wanted to test you

before we put you in the game.

- So this whole thing was a big test?

- Unbelievable. That was great.

- Really?

- Really.

Oh, cool.

- Guys, excuse us for a second.

- Yeah.

- Hey, good job.

- Nice work, nice work. Good.

I have seen hundreds of agents...

...put through that exercise, and

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