I Think I Love My Wife Page #2

I mean, you look

really handsome in it.

Hey, Lisa.

Will you tell him

how this shirt looks.

Oh, I love it on you!

I'm-I'm not just saying that.

I think it looks great on you.

(Kelly giggling)

Daddy's home.

BRENDA:
Daddy's home.

KELLY:
Daddy!

Yeah!

Daddy's home.

Hey, Daddy.

How's it going?

Pretty good.

Where's Brian?

Oh, he's upstairs napping.

Oh, hey, I've got

all these tests to grade,

so can you do the dishes tonight?

- Yeah, yeah, no problem.

- Great.

Hey, Kelly.

Hi, Daddy.

How big is Kelly?

This big.

RICHARD:
Yeah. Where's Kelly's ear?

Here.

- Where's Kelly's nose?

- Here.

Where's Kelly's esophagus?

(Brenda laughing)

Give the kid a break;

she's only three.

Hey, there's white

kids that are three

taking the bar right now.

W-H-l-T-E, please.

Okay, okay.

Hey, Kelly, I got you.

- Daddy got you.

- (Kelly laughing)

- Right upside the head.

- You went shopping? Huh.

Daddy got you.

I thought you didn't like green.

- (laughing)

- Figured I'd get something new.

It's different.

Pretty.

RICHARD:
There were days

when Brenda and I got along great.

But we still weren't having sex.

When a married couple

stops having sex,

at first, they complain about it.

But after a while,

they get used to it.

She walks out of the shower,

you don't even look.

'Cause you know there's

nothing there for you.

The most dangerous time

in a marriage

is when the couple accepts

that they're not having sex.

Speak up; I'm in an elevator.

TRACY:

Richard, there's someone here to see you.

Uh, a client?

She didn't say.

Nikki?

RICHARD:
Wow, Nikki Tru.

I haven't seen her in eight years.

She was my best friend's girl.

I was crazy about her.

What's wrong?

You didn't think you'd see me again?

No, it's not that;

I'm just surprised.

Wow, you look good, Nikki.

Thanks.

You know, people don't really

smoke in offices anymore.

I'm not really a smoker.

I'm just trying to lose some weight.

So what's that, a diet cigarette?

( chuckles)

I'll put it out.

You look good, Richie.

That's a nice shirt.

Thanks.

So, wh-what brings

you around, Nikki?

I was in the neighborhood,

heard you worked in the area,

thought I'd stop by and say hi.

That's allowed, right?

Yeah. Hi.

Hi.

You want to show me

your office or something?

Come on.

Okay.

It's good to see you.

Yeah, you, too.

- Which way?

- This way.

NI KKI ( chuckles):

Are these your kids?

Yeah, that's

my son Brian

and that's my daughter Kelly.

Same mother?

Same mother, my wife, seven years.

No side kids?

No side kids.

I know, it's very white of me.

( chuckles)

Richard Marcus Cooper is married.

Tied the knot, till

death do you part.

Mm-hmm.

Something strange about that?

No. Just...

not the Richie I knew.

- People change.

- Hmm.

You happily married?

Yeah, I'm-I'm happily married.

No, you're not.

You didn't say it right.

Okay, how was I supposed to say it?

Oh, I don't know.

But you're not supposed

to think about it.

I hear ice cracking.

What?

You ever walk across

a frozen river

and hear ice cracking?

It's the scariest sound

in the world.

Hey, hey.

My ice is fine.

My-my marriage is frozen solid.

You could do a triple axel

on my marriage.

(phone ringing)

One second.

Hello.

TRACY:

They're ready to start the meeting.

Yeah, yeah, I'll come right now.

So, to be

completely honest,

I do need a favor.

Ah. I knew Nikki didn't

come over here for nothing.

Well, I just got back in town,

and I'm trying to get a job,

but I need a reference.

Okay, well,

write up a letter,

bring it by, and I'll sign it.

No problem. Whoa!

( chuckles)

Magic.

So you just knew

I would sign this, huh?

I figured a friend in

need, couldn't resist.

Okay.

Good luck.

Thank you...

Mr. Married Man.

RICHARD:

Even though I hadn't seen Nikki

- in eight years, I got to say,

- Richard.

She looked even better

than I remembered.

Gonna put these right

on top of the block.

KELLY:
Do I have to eat this, Mommy?

- BRENDA:
Kelly...

- Hey.

- Hey, Daddy.

- Hey, honey.

Mm.

I'm almost

done with them,

and dinner will be ready

in a few minutes, okay?

Is baked chicken okay?

Ah, you know chicken's great.

All right.

Where's my kiss?

Ooh, that's a good kiss.

What's up, Bri?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So how was school?

You know that test I was giving?

I had to give it again.

They all got A's.

Oh, um, Allison wants

to have a playdate

this weekend at her house.

Any B-L-A-C-K kids gonna be there?

A few. Not enough.

You know, I'm thinking of

joining a Mocha Moms group

in New Rochelle.

That'll be good.

I got to do something.

Hey, how was, um, work today?

Anything happen?

Ah, nothing much, just work.

RICHARD:
I'm not crazy.

Would you tell your wife

about Nikki?

But I got to admit, seeing

Nikki got me to thinking.

What would it be like

to be single again?

I mean, if I were single,

I wouldn't do all that

romance-and-flowers crap.

If I were single again,

I would get right to the point.

Excuse me, would you

like to have sex with me?

- Of course I would.

- Well, come on!

When you're single, you're

never at a loss for words.

Excuse me, can I bite your ass?

For $1,000.

Come on, let's get biting, b*tch!

When you're single,

you have nothing to lose.

Come with me to a hotel right now.

But I have an appointment.

Yeah, a p*ssy appointment.

When you're single,

you're invincible.

Excuse me...

Get the f*** out of here!

When you're single, you're alone.

I'll f*** you.

And that's why I got married.

When I went to work

the next day,

being single was

the last thing on my mind.

I had a lot to do,

there was a big client

I wanted to bring in,

and I needed to be focused.

You know what I always say,

valuation's an art not a science.

Hey, want to go to lunch?

I got a plan how we can

reel in EuroTech.

I'm gonna pass on the lunch,

but let's talk about it

when you get back.

Have fun with yourself.

Walter, listen,

I know you're in bed

with Cross and Lubitsch,

but I'm telling you right now,

you're gonna see

some things in the...

There's a Nikki Tru on line one.

(whispers):
Tell her to hold.

Well, I just

want you to know

that our doors are always open.

All right, take care, Walter.

(beep)

Nikki.

Hey.

I got the job.

Good.

So as a thank you,

I was thinking you should

let me take you to lunch.

You know, I don't normally

do lunch till late.

Well, that's okay,

'cause I'm still in bed,

but I could get in the shower

and be to you in about an hour.

You know, I got

a lot of work to do, Nikki.

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