I Was a Male War Bride Page #4

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Is that stuff any good?

Turn over.

Wait a minute!

Go on. All right.

Ow! Oh. Ooh!

Stop bawling. I don't want them

to think we've smuggled a cow in here.

- Well, it stings.

- That's what it's supposed to do.

- Oh.

- Let it soak in for a while.

Now, relax.

Oh! You're dislocating everything!

- Oh, relax.

- I hurt further up.

Well, how can I get you

to relax if you won't cooperate?

- You heard what I said. I hurt further up.

- Oh.

Mmm. That's better.

Makes me feel sleepy.

Good.

Oh, that's nice, Henri.

You know, I'm sorry. I thought when you came

in here you were behaving like a stinker.

But you've been a stinker

for so long I just...

I know. I know.

Go to sleep.

- What? With you in the room?

- Well, I can't rub you from the hallway.

If I go to sleep, will you promise

to get right out of here?

- I'll go now.

- Oh, no. It feels good.

Now go to sleep,

and I'll be gone in a minute.

Henri, about this mission.

- Never mind.

- Well, I just want to ask a question.

- All right. What?

- Is this mission we're on so important?

No. Not particularly. But it is to me,

because it's my last assignment for the army.

I'm getting out next week.

Oh. I didn't know that.

- Then it is important, isn't it? =

- Mm-hmm.

Henri, you know I...

Oh, I'm so sleepy.

Good night.

Oh, she'll never believe me.

- What happened? What happened?

- Shh! You unspeakable weasel.

I knew you'd be up to your old tricks

the minute my back was turned.

- That's ridiculous.

- Get out of here.

- I can't get out.

- I said get out!

- I can't get out.

- Shh. Why not?

- Because the door handle came off.

- What an excuse!

- Even you could think of a better one!

- The handle came off...

- I don't believe you.

- You just try to open the door.

- All right! I will.

- Open the door!

Try to open the door.

L... How did you do that?

Oh, you liar. You dirty...

B- B-But...

You're worse than I thought.

Put on your shoes and get out of here!

- I tell you...

- Don't speak to me! Don't speak to me.

You understand?

Don't speak to me again. Ever!

Mmm.

I don't want to talk to you.

Don't speak to me.

L...

Stop banging on that door!

- You can't come in!

- I'm in!

- Magic.

- I told you not to speak to me, and...

Someone's out there.

Good. Perhaps they'll let me out.

Who is it?

Fraulein, it's me.

The innkeeper's wife.

Henri, we gotta do something. You...

- I know. Get out that window.

- Who, me?

Go on, Henri. You can't

be found in here. Don't argue.

- Oh! American women!

- Go on.

What the...

Oh, shoot.

Come in.

The Klinke... The door handle came off.

It happened before once in the night.

I put it back.

I'm very sorry it happened.

Climbing in

the nice young lady's room! Out here!

- No, no, no!

- Out here!

Henri!

Come in.

Oh, excuse me.

I was looking for Captain Ro...

Oh, Henri! No!

What do you want?

You look like an organ grinder.

- What was that?

- The innkeeper. I borrowed his clothes.

Why?

I came here to Bad Nauheim

to find Herr Schindler.

So I'm gonna make the rounds

of the black market hangouts...

and see if I can get

some information about him.

If I'm in uniform, no one's gonna

tell me anything. Is that reasonable?

- Yes.

- See you later.

- Don't you want me to help you?

- No.

Oh, now, Henri.

I'm sorry about the door handle. I was wrong.

You were telling the truth. I'm really sorry.

Nice of you to apologize.

That fixes everything.

- Well, what more can I do?

- I often wonder.

Oh, Henri. Stop being like that.

You're behaving like a little boy.

- I know it.

- But you said it was important. I just want to help.

- Never mind.

- Is it all right if I go on my own and try to find Schindler?

- Shh!

- Well, maybe I could do something.

- Don't do anything.

- Oh, you make me so mad. You don't want me to help.

That's right. Don't do anything. If you see me,

don't speak to me. You don't know me.

- Why not?

- Because you're an American officer in uniform.

If I'm seen talking to you,

they'll think I'm a stool pigeon.

- I don't see why I can't go out...

- Please. Just take orders.

- Now remember. You don't know me.

- I don't know you.

- You can't speak to me.

- Okay. I can't speak to you.

- You can't even see me.

- I never could. Not for sour apples.

- Oh!

- Oh, you stubborn...

He makes me so mad I could...

Hey, Catherine.

Catherine Gates!

Jowitt! Hello. How are you?

It's good to see you.

- What are you doing in Bad Nauheim?

- I'm here on a mission.

- What sort?

- Well, I'll tell you about it. Can we get breakfast here?

- I know where we can get some real coffee.

- Where is it?

- Come on. Gonna be here long?

- Oh, just for a couple of days.

Fine.

Here we are. Bill Trumble,

Catherine Gates.

- Hello. How are you?

- Glad to meet you, Lieutenant. Won't you sit down?

- Thanks.

- Catherine just got in town this morning.

- Good morning. Do you want

anything besides coffee?

- Oh, jam, rolls. Anything you have.

- Make it for two.

How long are you going to be here?

- Just a couple of days.

- You haven't told me what you're doing here.

Well, it's not much

of a story. Just...

- Say, isn't that the fellow I saw you talking to at the inn?

- Yes. That's him.

Well, he's going into the wrong place.

That's a black market hangout.

Bill has a friend in the M.P.s.

The German police are gonna raid

that place this morning.

You mean the place

he just went into?

Mm-hmm. That's why

we came here for breakfast.

Get a floor show thrown in free.

Well, you couldn't have chosen a better spot.

Here they are now.

Watch them operate.

Hey, Sergeant,

will you come and help me? =

Constable! Halt, halt!

There's someone who can identify me.

She's an officer in the United States Army.

Come with me here. Catherine.

Catherine, tell these men who I am.

Identify me. Please tell them something.

- Is something wrong, Officer?

- If you please, Lieutenant.

He says he is French officer

and you know him.

I never saw him before in my life.

- That's what I thought!

- You shouldn't have done this to me, Catherine!

I'll get even! I'll get even!

I'll get even, traitor! I'll get even!

- Catherine, what is going on here?

- I'll tell you later.

Look. By any chance could you fellows help me

find a German lens grinder named Schindler?

- Sure.

- We ought to be able to help you on that.

- Think so?

- Mm-hmm.

- Is this the man?

- Yes. That's Captain Rochard.

- Good morning, Henri.

- I trust the captain will understand.

There was nothing else we could do.

No identity card. It was not really our fault.

Don't worry. I'm entirely

aware whose fault it was.

Henri, I did exactly as you told me.

Well, thank you, Captain.

Thank you.

- One question. Why have you no beds in this jail?

- Didn't you have a bed, Henri?

Well, you see, Captain, when we had beds,

everyone wished to be arrested.

It was terrible. The people did anything...

everything... just so they could have a bed.

- I know how they felt.

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