I Was a Male War Bride Page #3

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- I don't know. It should say "U.S. Navy" on it, shouldn't it?

Oh. I mean what's wrong with putting the

motorcycle on the boat and rowing past Battenberg?

It's only a few miles,

and we can pick up the road from there.

- Do you think they'd let us?

- Well, we can try.

Hey, Lieutenant. Is it okay if we take

that boat and row down past Battenberg?

So long as you don't row on the road,

it's none of my business.

- Good. Can we have a couple of your boys to help us?

- Sure thing.

- Thanks.

- Sergeant Christien, could you bring some men over here?

Watch your feet.

Better put it in gear, Corporal.

Thanks, fellows.

Lieutenant, will you tell the O.I. C...

that we'll either return the boat

or teletype him where to pick it up?

- Sure thing.

- Will you please help us to shove off?

- Good luck to you.

- Thank you.

- Have a nice trip.

- Thanks.

- Thank you. Grab an oar.

- Who, me?

Yes, you. An oar. Go on.

Now, pull. Pull!

Right. Pull.

- What's that ahead?

- It's a bridge.

- Not on the map though.

- Well, where are we?

A couple of more miles should do it.

- Ah.

- What's that?

- What's what?

- That noise.

- Sounds like a C-47.

- Oh, it's bigger than that. Must be a C-54.

Must be an awful lot of C-47 s.

C-54s.

Well, whatever kind of airplanes

they are, they make a lot of noise.

It doesn't sound like...

Henri, pull for shore, quick!

- Why?

- Don't argue, please. Just pull!

Oh, now let me tell you something,

Lieutenant Gates...

I'm going straight down this river.

You sure are. But you're going

over a waterfall first.

Oh, well, that's different. I'm...

Oh!

Ooh!

Oh, Henri, stop playing ostrich.

Come, help hold this!

Hold on.

- Now let's try to pull ourselves free.

- All right.

- Come on, Henri. Pull. Pull hard.

- I'm pulling.

Now we're getting it.

- Now row.

- I'm rowing.

Come on, Henri, pull!

- Come on. Row hard, Henri.

- I am!

- Now turn it around.

- I'll turn it.

- Oh, boy!

- Oh! You're so clumsy.

Have you got it?

A little bit more.

Henri, that's awfully wet ground

you're sitting on.

Well, at the moment

I can't feel anything anyway.

But when I do, I think

I'm going to kick you bowlegged.

For what?

For saving your life?

Oh, yes, that's right.

You did catch that rope, didn't you?

Yes. I did.

- Convenient, wasn't it?

- Oh, they always are.

Well, I suppose I owe you

something for that.

Okay. I'll call it square if you'll tell me

what we're going to do in Bad Nauheim.

- Oh.

- Come on, Henri.

Well, there's a man in Bad Nauheim

who grinds lenses. Good ones too.

- His name is... What's the matter?

- Charley horse.

Well, roll over.

I can fix that. I'm...

- Oh, no. Never mind. Go ahead with the story.

- His name is Schindler.

- Schindler, a lens grinder.

- That's right. My job is to persuade him...

that we're willing to pay more for his lenses

than he can get in the German black market.

- Ooh, that's sore.

- Well, do as I tell you. Roll over.

- Come on. I'm good at that. Come on.

- Oh, all right.

I'll fix it. I can help you.

- What's our problem?

- No problem at all.

A few well-chosen words, a contract,

a passport in his hand. Then we can go home.

That's the whole plot.

Simple, isn't it?

In that case, I don't see why

they assigned me to this mission.

They probably didn't want

to make it too easy.

- How is it?

- What?

- My leg.

- Not bad. Better than I remembered.

- Perhaps the other one needs...

- Oh, no. Never mind. That'll do it.

Thank you.

Help me up.

I was just trying to be friendly.

But you never try to be friendly

from a distance.

Henri. Henri, one move, and this time

it won't be a vat of dye. It'll be the river.

- You wouldn't.

- Yes, I would.

I think you would.

Catherine, your lack

of cooperation is amazing.

I'll cooperate by getting the map

and finding out where we are.

Who put us on the river

in the first place? =

I knew you were going to say that.

You're tiresome.

You're subnormal. I don't propose

to argue with you any further.

Oh, dear. That darn road doesn't

come within ten kilometers of here.

What? Across open country

in that thing?

Oh, it'll just be a little bumpy.

Only for a couple of hours.

- We'll make it by 3:00.

- Ha. We won't get there before dark, if we get there at all.

This motorcycle will go anywhere.

If you'll get your pants off that grass...

and help me get it out of the boat,

we'll be on the road in no time.

Pitch dark.

Henri, we're lost. Absolutely lost.

- Is there a difference?

- Oh, haven't you got a bump of direction?

That's the only kind I haven't got.

Well, come on. You drive this thing.

My back hurts. Oh!

You're the one who checked out on the

motorcycle. You know what the sergeant said.

- Oh, stop being so cute.

I hate you when you're...

What's that? Listen.

Oh! We must have been driving alongside

that road for the last hour!

- Perhaps they just moved it there.

- Oh, shut up.

Henri, there's a sign back there.

See what it says.

- I don't suppose you have a flashlight.

- No, I haven't.

- What does it say?

- I can't see.

Well, climb up, silly.

You'd better hurry up.

It's starting to rain.

- What does it say? =

- Well, I can't tell. It's in German.

Well, move your arm.

Oh. You can

come down now, Henri.

- What did it say?

- Never mind. Get in.

- But what did it say?

- "Wet paint. "

Well, how many miles?

Oh, no, Henri.

No, you don't.

You'll get awful wet if you stay out here.

Come on. Get in the sidecar.

- I know it. I know it.

- Hurry up.

All right, Henri.

We're in Bad Nauheim.

- You can come out now.

- You sure?

Yes. I'm sure. And bring my bag.

What are you talking about?

He wanted to know

if we wanted one room or two.

- You told him?

- I told him.

What's the matter?

My back. I think it's broken,

and it's all your fault.

- My fault?

- Yes. If you'd pushed that cow out of the way...

we wouldn't have had to take

the detour that landed us in the brook.

- It was a bull!

- Cow.

You told me yourself you couldn't tell

the difference at 20 yards away.

I know. But if you can't tell the difference

at 20 yards, it couldn't be a bull.

- He would have had horns.

- Oh. Yeah.

- Who is it?

- Cinderella.

- What do you want?

- My slipper.

Well, open the door.

- Well, what do you want?

- You just said that. How's your back?

Oh, it's awful. It hurts.

Get into bed.

I will not get into bed.

What do you think you're doing?

- And what's all that stuff you've got there?

- I've brought you a drink.

Oh, I thought so. I knew

you'd get up to your old tricks.

And also some liniment

to rub your back. Get into bed.

Oh.

We'll need some water.

Take your shirt off too.

I am not going to

take my shirt off.

Well, how am I going to

rub your back through your shirt?

You're not going to rub my back through

anything, including my own foolishness.

Here. Drink this.

- Want some water?

- No. It's good.

Hmm.

My back!

Do you want it rubbed or not?

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