I Was a Male War Bride Page #8

---

- And the laws of your country...

forbid you taking anything

but a nominal amount with you.

Yes, I'm afraid that's right.

Then a visitor's visa

would do you no good.

You couldn't take a job.

And unless your wife can prove...

that she's able to support you,

you couldn't get a permanent visa.

Catherine isn't going to support me,

so is there any other kind of visa?

What about the French quota?

The French quota's completely

filled up for this year and next.

- Well, what'll we do?

- I was wondering...

if public law 271 would apply.

That's the one regulating

the immigration of war brides.

Catherine doesn't have to immigrate.

She's an American citizen.

I was thinking of you as the bride.

That's a pretty good

imagination you have there.

It says spouses.

Doesn't mention sex.

I'm convinced the American army

doesn't believe in it.

This is gonna work.

Yes, I think this is gonna work.

- Well, sure, it will. Say, this is wonderful.

- What's so wonderful?

It says spouses means mates.

Doesn't say anything about male or female.

- We're mates, aren't we?

- I really wouldn't know.

You're a spouse of a member

of the American expedition forces.

Therefore, you're eligible to travel...

- under section 271 as her bride.

- As her bride?

- No, Henri, please.

- As your bride?

- Oh, Henri, it'll be fun.

- But isn't it ridic...

Of course it is, darling, but it'll work.

You'll see. It's the only way.

Here's the application right here.

I am not going to travel as her bride.

And besides, her name's Rochard.

Excuse me, Captain Rochard,

but officially, it's still Gates.

Not at all.

Officially, it is Rochard.

- I have three wedding certificates to prove it.

- Henri.

I don't care.

Rochard. Rochard.

Pay no attention to him, Mr. Jones.

What do we have to do?

Here you fill out your name, rank,

organization, your wife's maiden name.

- She hasn't got a wife.

- Just for the time being.

- Have you got a wife?

- No, dear. But it's only a piece of paper.

- Well, then you...

- Well, obviously these applications...

are intended for

the husband to fill in.

Oh, well, I can write.

I can write.

- Yes, we know, dear. You can write.

- No, this doesn't apply to you.

You'll just have to make

the proper adjustments.

- What?

- On these papers.

- You want to go, don't you?

- What?

I tell you, Henri,

it's the only way.

Just hand those over to the immigration

officer when you've filled them out.

- Thank you, Mr. Jones.

- But, Catherine...

It'll be simple. You'll see.

On the contrary, the process

of turning a man into a woman...

is enormously complicated.

- But I'll do my best. Thank you. Good day.

- Good day.

- Good-bye.

- Good-bye.

Just a moment.

Brides first, please.

- Oh, I beg your pardon.

- That's all right.

Hello, Henri.

- Well, nothing happened.

- Hasn't it come yet?

I wonder if the application

even arrived.

I handed it to the immigration officer

myself first thing this morning.

Henri, brace yourself. I'm leaving.

- Our whole outfit leaves tonight.

- Tonight?

Oh, well, that does it.

We're cooked.

- The application will come this afternoon. It's got to.

- It won't. Oh, you'll see.

You'll go, and I'll sit here

wondering which sex I am.

What a marriage. Solitary confinement.

Separate rooms.

I've never been

so lonely in my life.

- If I have to leave you, I'll shoot myself.

- Shoot me too. I'm...

- I think this is it. It came to the office.

- Thank you, Kitty.

At last.

"Dear madame"?

Oh, yes, that's me.

"Following application

of your husband... " that's you...

"you are informed that permission

to enter the United States...

as a war bride has been granted. "

- I gotta get back. I'll see you later.

- Thanks, Kitty.

- I'm so happy. Kiss me.

- We've got time now. That can wait.

- Or maybe it can't.

- Oh, no, darling. No, no, Henri. Please, the letter.

"Please fill in attached form

and bring to this... "

Another form.

Will they ever run out of forms?

Hmm. Hmm.

I won't. I won't answer

those questions.

- Oh. Well, Henri, this isn't so bad.

- I won't answer those questions.

- You've got to.

- I won't!

- You don't wanna stay, do you?

- No.

- Then you've got to answer them.

- How can I?

You can, Henri, and perhaps the man

at the office will help you.

- It wouldn't be possible.

- Now, please, control yourself for once and be nice.

- How can you answer a single...

- Everything will be all right.

Be sure and read them over on the

way down. Good-bye, Henri. Good luck.

- I tell you, there isn't another form.

- I told you first.

- This form isn't for a man. It's for a woman.

- Uh-huh.

On the other hand, if you don't get this form

filled out and approved, you can't go.

- That's right.

- You mean I've got to use this form?

Sergeant,

I felt the same way you do...

but if that's the only form,

come on, let's fill it out.

Well, let's see. Age and birthplace.

We've got all that.

Well, here's the first one.

Are you an expectant mother?

Uh-huh.

Yes. How many months?

Twenty.

Twenty. Twenty months.

Any... Any female trouble?

Nothing but, Sergeant.

And... have you ever had

any children before?

Oh, my aching back. You know

that awful feeling before breakfast?

- No, Captain, I don't.

- Oh, Sergeant, you're lucky.

Captain, this doesn't make any sense.

I know, but come on. We gotta

fill it out. Ask me another.

There's some good ones coming up.

Attention, please. Attention, please.

Will Mrs. Milton

come to the desk, please.

You take seat 18

in bus number three.

All right, Mrs. Rochard...

- you take seat 19 in bus number three.

- Thank you.

- Wait a minute! You're not Mrs. Rochard.

- I'm Mr. Rochard.

It's your wife who must report here

for transportation to Bremerhaven.

- According to the war department, I am my wife.

- You can't be your wife!

If the American army says that I can

be my wife, who am I to dispute them?

- This is all wrong.

- Major, for your information, I am a war bride.

- A war bride?

- Yeah.

- Well, I'm slightly confused.

- I don't blame you...

but the official wording says

I am "an alien spouse...

"of female military personnel

en route to the United States...

under public law 271

of the congress. "

This is a strange situation,

but I suppose it's perfectly legal.

- Yes, it is.

- Well, um, Mrs. Roch... I mean, Mr. Rochard...

it won't be necessary

for you to stop at the, uh, nurse's desk.

- No?

- No.

Oh.

Attention, please.

Will all passengers be sure to have their

baggage checked before boarding the buses.

Will all passengers

be sure to have their baggage checked...

before boarding the buses.

Will Mrs. Turner...

Mrs. Turner please come to the desk.

Will Mrs. Turner please

come to the desk.

He's crying, the baby.

- Is that what he's doing?

- He wants water, yes?

I wouldn't know, madame. When I want water,

I have a different way of asking for it.

- He is a baby. You are a man.

- Thanks.

I'll get him some water.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote