I Was a Male War Bride Page #7

---

and then go to Henri's pastor.

- That makes three times.

- Three?

Chaplain, did you know that in China,

the bride and groom just drink tea...

- out of the same bowl, and that's it?

- Are you Chinese, Henri?

- Of course I'm not Chinese.

- I didn't think you were. I'm not.

- What brought that up?

- You just said something about drinking tea.

- I was telling the chaplain...

- I'll drink tea with you if you want me to.

- You do?

- Stop it. Stop it.

- Chaplain, perhaps I shouldn't go through with this.

- You can still say no, Henri.

- We'll go to the brgermeister, and then come back to you.

- I'll be ready for you any time.

- Thank you.

- Don't pay any attention to her, Chaplain.

- All right.

- Good-bye.

- Good-bye.

- Good-bye.

You have decided now

to live your future life together.

And forsaking all other...

keep thee only unto him

so long as ye both shall live?

- I will.

- Will you please join right hands?

Henri, will you repeat after me?

- I, Henri...

- I, Henri...

- take thee, Catherine...

- take thee, Catherine...

to be my wedded wife.

- He wants the ring.

- I haven't got it.

Oh, here. L...

Well, you like it?

I like it.

It's been quite a day, hasn't it?

We're a lot married,

Henri, three times.

It was worth it.

I don't see how we could

ever get a divorce.

It would be something like unwinding

the inside of a golf ball.

- Want some more coffee?

- I just had four cups.

- Besides, it keeps me awake.

- Oh.

What's the matter?

I was just thinking about a friend

of mine on his wedding night.

Oh? What happened?

Well, you see, he was a...

No, no. Not tonight. No, no. No, no.

- Tell me about him.

- About what?

About your friend

on his wedding night.

Oh. I'm not so sure

I can tell you that.

- Oh, of course you can, Henri.

- That's right. I can now, can't I?

- Mm-hmm.

- Well, here's what happened...

This is just like my friend's story.

- Now what?

- Hi. Can I come in?

- Well, you're in.

- I didn't wanna come, but I have to...

- Then go away.

- But...

Kitty, what on earth are you doing here?

I thought you'd gone back.

Of all the times to...

Well, what do you want, anyway?

- Well, I certainly didn't wanna come here.

- Then go away.

I've got something to tell you first,

and you're not going to like it.

- What is it?

- I've just been on the phone.

The colonel gave orders you're

to leave for Heidelberg in 20 minutes.

- You're kidding.

- The whole outfit's been alerted to go back to America.

- To America? Well, they're not going right away.

- Well, I don't know.

Then we don't have

to leave tonight.

Maybe you don't, but Catherine does.

Those are orders.

- When do I have to report?

- Not until morning.

Then we stay here tonight, and fly back

and report in the morning.

- Orders.

- You could tell the colonel you couldn't find us.

He beat you to it. He said if I tried

to pull that one, we'd both be sorry.

- Oh!

- Cathy, I'm in a spot. So are you.

You've got to get working on Henri's passport,

or he won't be able to sail with you.

Henri, we're dead.

Well, this is a fine wedding night!

You can find a place to stay

in Heidelberg. It's better than nothing.

- What do you mean, nothing?

- You better start packing. You've only got 20 minutes.

- How do we get back from here?

- Plane to Frankfurt. There'll be a jeep there.

- See you later.

- Orders are I'm to stick with you until you get to Heidelberg.

- Orders.

- Orders? Uh...

Orders.

They wouldn't do this

in the French army.

Poor Henri.

- Uh-oh. Want me to wait for you?

- What do you mean, wait?

- What, all night?

- I don't think it's going to be that long.

Uh... What kind of trouble

are you dreaming up now?

I just noticed where you're going.

It says "B.O.Q."

- Oh, no.

- That means bachelor officers' quarters, Henri.

I don't care what it means. That is where I

live, and that's where I'm going to take my wife.

But it's against regulations.

Who cares anything about regulations

at a time like this?

Besides, I know the sergeant

on the desk, and he always looks the...

He's a very nice fellow.

Comes from Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Driver, please take Lieutenant

Lawrence home. Good night, Kitty.

- Good night, Henri.

- Come along, Catherine.

- But, Henri, I...

- Now, please.

- Good night, Kitty.

- Good night, Catherine.

- Hope it works.

- Leave it to me.

- It's just us, Kitty.

- Shh!

- B.O.Q. Means bachelor officers' quarters.

- I told you it did...

And after that, we went to six hotels.

They're all against...

No military personnel...

What's the matter with you?

Billings is on the couch, and Thompson

and Kay are in the bedroom.

- What are they doing here?

- Sleeping.

- Oh, no.

- Come on, Catherine.

- Where, Henri?

- I don't know, but since the beginning of the world...

man has always found a place

for his mate, even if it was a cave.

Well, tonight mankind's a flop.

You haven't got a cave.

You haven't even got a bed.

It's 3:
00 in the morning,

and it's my wedding night...

and my feet hurt,

and I couldn't walk another step.

Yes, darling, yes.

Well, do you want to sleep here?

No. I mean, yes, but I want you

to sleep here too.

Well, you can bunk up with me,

and he can sleep in the bathroom.

- Sitting up?

- It's not so bad.

- I slept in a bathtub once.

- On your wedding night?

No. I'll get you some blankets

and a pillow.

Come along.

Oh, Henri, how could it

turn out like this?

I'd always planned us

to have a wonderful...

I know. I know, darling.

Come on.

There's the bathroom there.

Good night, Henri.

- Here's your pillow and blankets.

- Good night, dear. Good night.

Oh, everything's wrong.

Now I can't wear my new nightgown.

There isn't even any rice...

- Maybe Kitty has some mothballs.

- Good night, Henri.

I don't think it's funny,

not a bit...

with me in one room

and you in a bathtub.

Yes, dear.

Well, never mind.

- Good night, darling.

- Yeah, good night.

And don't cry.

I'll be all right.

I'll be quite comfortable.

I'll just turn on the cold water.

Hmm.

Oh, come on, Henri. Hurry up.

We've got a lot of things to do.

I am hurrying,

just as fast as I can go.

Well, straighten up.

You look like a question mark.

- Oh! Thank you.

- There. That's better.

What a place to put a faucet.

- Where?

- In the middle of my back.

It is unusual.

Well, cheer up, dear.

At least tonight

you'll have a bed to sleep on.

Well, that's just it.

Catherine, I don't mean to sound cranky...

but this situation is so unnatural.

I'll be at B.O.Q. And you'll be

sleeping miles away...

all because

the United States Army...

We haven't got time

to look for another place today.

We've got to see

the American consul. Come on, silly.

- What are you doing in the gutter?

- Where else would I be?

Now, I know it's very important

and you're in a hurry...

but it's not gonna be easy.

Take the matter of support. Captain, have

you any money in the United States?

- No.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote