iCarly- iWant More Viewers

Season #1 Episode #2

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Carly:

Which is why I say, the potato is superior to the sports bra!

Sam:

And if you don’t believe us, try making French fries out of a sports bra!

Carly:

OK, next on iCarly, we’re gonna the door man who lives in the lobby of this building. His name’s Lewbert!

Sam:

The meanest man alive!

Carly:

We hate his guts!

Sam:

And so you can hate Lewbert’s guts just as much as us!

Carly:

We asked our technical producer, Verlaz

Sam:

Say yo to the people, Verlaz-eyo.

Verlaz:

Yo to the people! How ya’ll doing out there?

Sam:

That’s enough, Verlaz

Carly:

Anyway, we’ve been secretly videotaping Lewbert for almost a week!

Sam:

So let’s take a look at some of the highlights!

Carly:

Freddie, roll the clip!

Freddie:

Playback!

Carly:

OK, that’s Lewbert sitting at his desk.

Sam:

Just a nasty little man working in the lobby.

Carly:

And if you look real close, you can see his wart! Zoom in on it, Freddie!

Freddie:

Digital zoom!

Carly:

There it is, living happily on Lewbert’s face.

Sam:

I call that wart, little lewb.

Carly:

Zoom out! Oh, see that lady? Watch what happens!

Lewbert:

Out!

Lady:

I just need to check my mail!

Lewbert:

No dogs in my lobby!

Lady:

I will leave in a minute!

Lewbert:

Now! Out! (Argues with dog)

Sam:
He’s arguing with a pomegranate!

Carly:

Pomeranian!

Sam:

Whatever.

Carly:

OK, OK, now watch Lewbert closely!

Sam:

See that kid with the balloon right next to him?

Boy:

Mommy! That man ate my cookie!

Lady:

You took my sons cookie?

Lewbert:

No!

Lady:

You are so cruel! (Argues with him) That man took my sons cookie, what are you gonna do about it?

Boy:

Waaaaaaa!!!!

Sam:

See what he did!

Carly:

You see that? As you can see, Lewbert’s a bad person!

Sam:

Not a good dude! Which is why we are introducing a new segment on iCarly which we call.

Carly and Sam:

Messin’ with Lewbert!

Carly:

And there’s Lewbert live!

Sam:

I’ll dial the lobby downstairs!

Lewbert:

Main lobby. (Carly blows air horn) AHHHH!

Carly:

And that concludes this segment of.

Carly and Sam:

Messin’ with Lewbert!

Lewbert:

Who is this? (Carly blows air horn) AHHH!!

Scene 2

Freddie:

What up, my peeps?

Sam:

Wow, that greeting was uncool in so many ways!

Freddie:

Oh yeah? Well uncool is the new cool!

Sam:

Wow, that comeback was uncool in so many ways!

Freddie:

You know what, Sam?

Sam:

What, Freddie? (They argue) You deserve a brain!

Freddie:

At least I have a brain!

Sam:

No, you don’t have a brain, you have nose hairs! What did you just do?

Freddie:

What was that?

Carly:

See when you have a cat, that’s how you get them to stop misbehaving! You just spray them with some water!

Sam:

You can’t do that to us!

Freddie;

We’re not cats!

Sam:

Yeah, just put your little-

Carly:

Spencer, dinner time! You guys staying for dinner?

Sam:

I got no place to go!

Spencer:

I’m here! One sec. What’s for dinner?

Carly:

We’re having my special spaghetti!

All:

Mmmmm.

Freddie:

Nice looking meatballs!

Spencer:

Your guy’s web show was pretty awesome tonight! I love how you zoomed in on Lewbert’s big, old wart! I wonder what would happen if you squeeze that thing! Do you think some kind of Lewberty-goo would squirt out of it?

Verlaz:

I just wish I could get more people watching the show.

Freddie:

The same number of people watched iCarly this week as last week!

Sam:

That’s the problem! Our shows getting better and better, so more people should be watching!

Spencer:

Why do you people care how many people are watching?

Freddie:

Why do we care?

Verlaz:

You’re an artist! When you create a new sculpture, do you want 2 people to see it or do you want 2 million people to see it?

Spencer:

2 million...

Carly:

So, ideas?

Sam:

Yeah, this spaghetti could use more garlic!

Freddie:

I think Carly’s spaghetti is great!

Sam:

Then why don’t you put some down your pants!

Freddie:

Cause maybe I don’t wanna put pasta down my pants! Maybe I wanna-

Carly:

Alright, look. We all know that making a good show is important!

Sam:

So is getting more people to watch!

Carly:

What if we each come up with a cool way of getting more people to watch!

Sam:

Then we show our ideas to the iCarly audience.

Freddie:

And let them vote on who came up with the best idea?

Carly:

Right, like a contest! That way we do a good show and get more viewers!

Sam:

I’m on Carly’s team!

Freddie:

Teams? She said each! And why do you get to be on Carly’s team?

Sam:

Cause each sounds like a lot of work!

Spencer:

Relax buddy, I’ll be on your team!

Carly:

Seriously?

Spencer:

Yeah, I got time.

Sam:

You’re not still dating that girl?

Spencer:

Na, she only liked me for my socks.

Sam:

That’s weird.

Spencer:

Is it?

Freddie:

Well, OK then, we’re partners!

Spencer:
Partners.

Carly:
verlaz who's team you on

Verlaz; i'm in here, too

Carly:
yea, babe

Freddie:
he should be on the boys team since he's a boy

Carly:
yea but he's my boyfriend

Freddie:
i feel heartbroken

Carly:
..baby

verlaz:
sorry guys

Carly:

Great, so it’s me and Sam, and my babe verlaz vs Freddie and Spencer! Team with the best idea to get more viewers wins!

Freddie:

OK, but I think the losers should have some kind of penalty!

Sam:

Hasn’t live already penalised you enough?

Carly:

That’s for being mean.

Sam:

It was worth it.

Spencer:

OK come on, what should the losers have to do?

Carly:

I’m gonna say, losing team has to... Touch Lewbert’s wart!

Spencer:

Yeah! I mean ewww!

Scene 3

Spencer:

Hey, Freddie!

Freddie:

Ow! Man!

Spencer:

What ya doing?

Freddie:

Bleeding! Why are you here?

Spencer:

We are gonna win the competition! I found an insanely awesome way to get more people watching your guy’s web cast!

Freddie:

Tell me!

Spencer:

We get a bunch of fireworks, right? Enough to light wave consumer stuff. I’m talking 4th of July razzle dazzle!

Freddie:

Razzle dazzle?

Spencer:

Yes! Then, at night, we launch the fireworks off the roof of our building, they explode, spelling out iCarly.com in the sky!

Freddie:

Can we really do that?

Spencer:

No! So I came up with something else! A sign?

Freddie:

A sign?

Spencer:
A big sign that lights up all different colors and says please go online to iCarly.com!

Freddie:

Yeah, yeah, that’s good! And we should hang it someplace, like over a really busy highway! Thousands of people will see when they drive by!

Spencer:

You are a tiny genius!

Miss Ridges:

Well, well, look what the janitor swept up! Spencer Shay! I thought I saw the last of you years ago when you graduated, but sadly your back!

Spencer:

Nice to see you, Miss Ridges! Or now that I’m older may I call you Margaret?

Miss Ridges:

No you may not!

Spencer:

Why?

Miss Ridges:

My name is Francine! Get out before I give you detention!

Spencer:

I’m 26, you can’t give me detention!

Miss Ridges:

Then I give you detention, one week!

Freddie:

WHAT?!

Spencer:

You don’t scare him!

Freddie:

Yes she does!

Miss Ridges:

GET OUT!

Spencer:

No!

Miss Ridges:

Two weeks detention!

Freddie:

Dude, get out of here!

Spencer:

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I am not letting this lady-

Miss Ridges:

Spencer Shay, you have 30 seconds to leave or else Freddie gets expelled!

Freddie:

GO!

Rate this script:3.7 / 3 votes