Identity Thief Page #2

Yeah. But...

"407." Where is that?

Winter Park, Florida.

Okay. You've got Denver, here.

How did you dial this number?

Well, you didn't leave one when you

made the appointment, so we googled you.

I see. Well, you've got the wrong...

Sorry, buddy.

Can you meet me in the parking garage?

Level 7B.

- Sure.

- Thanks.

Hey. He's here.

What's this? What's going on?

Is everything all right?

You like getting f***ed?

Because that is what's happening upstairs.

Aren't you sick of

getting f***ed by Cornish?

Yeah, I'm a little sore.

We don't like it either.

That's why we're leaving.

We're starting our own firm.

We're taking all our clients.

Come with us.

Come with you?

Sandy, you're the best at what you do.

You'd be a VP. You'll have your own office.

What are you making right now?

I make 50.

How about 250?

When are you doing this?

Now.

Now. Today, now?

Come on.

Could I have everybody's attention please?

The six of us are leaving

to start a new company.

You now have our new contact information.

If you think of yourself as a cog,

we're not interested.

But if you want to be

a part of building something,

if you want to be a part of

changing this awful business,

stand up now and join us.

That's wonderful, everybody.

Isn't that inspiring?

A start-up.

Please, I invite you,

anybody who wants to join this fellow,

I'm considering it myself.

But if you do join these traitors,

you will live to regret it.

Because this firm has offices

in 20 cities in three continents,

and you do not want us as an enemy.

Last chance. Who's with us?

- I am.

- Who said that?

I did.

Sandy. Anybody else want to join him?

All he's got are threats, people.

And all they have is Sandy.

You better pray this works.

You better pray this works, Sandy.

You better pray this works,

because I'm coming for you.

And I'm killing you everywhere.

Don't come crawling back!

What?

Oh! Boy, that's nice.

That looks good, that looks good.

I lost my wedding ring. Shh!

Fifteen years of marriage.

Can you believe that?

- May I see your ID?

- Mmm-hmm.

Yes, you can.

Sandy Bigelow Patterson.

We just got married back in St. Paul.

Yeah. Howard's a surgeon.

So, he fixes smiles.

Yeah, he's kind of the big guy for teeth.

My friends took me out for my birthday.

They made a big deal out of me turning 30.

I was like, "Thirty, what? No way."

I mean, I hit it pretty

hard in my twenties, so...

Do you like to hit it hard?

I bet you do. I bet you can hit that

so hard.

There we go, okay.

Let's get them off it.

Ma'am? Ma'am.

What the f***?

Ma'am, your card was declined.

Oh, yeah.

Here, use this one.

That one's done.

Great.

Hi. Good morning.

Something wrong with pump five.

It's not taking my card.

Thanks.

You don't pay your bills, man.

I gotta cut the card.

"Cut the card."

No, I absolutely pay my bills.

Run it one more time.

Nothing wrong with that card.

That's not what it says right here.

I don't care what the screen says.

Maybe it's broken.

I'll go somewhere else.

You're not cutting that card.

Cutting the card? That's ridiculous.

Tell you what, I'll go somewhere else.

You go somewhere else?

Look, that's my papi.

He owns this store.

- He says cut the card.

- Senior.

- If you don't pay your bills...

- My bills are paid.

Oh, your bills are paid.

I gotta cut the card.

Do not cut that card.

I'm gonna cut the card. I just cut the card.

- Go pay your bills, Randy.

- It's Sandy.

Sandy?

How's my credit exceeded?

Well, Mr. Patterson,

your balance is $12,243.67.

That's absurd.

I use the card for gas and for coffee.

I'm showing $4,345

from Great Beyond Water Sports.

Well, I'll stop you there,

because I've never heard of that place.

"Great Beyond Water Sports"?

Nope, I've never been there.

And that was this morning?

I just left the house.

Except for the gas station that I went to,

where my card got chopped in half

by an angry man in a glass box, okay?

So, first things first,

I need a fresh card in the mail.

And Loretta,

I need you on the stick to unscrew me.

This is clearly on your end. This is not me.

Or I'll fix it. Where's the surf shop?

Well, sir, it's in Winter Park, Florida.

Florida? I'm in Colorado, you know, so...

- Damn it.

- Excuse me?

Unbelievable. I gotta call you back.

- Driver.

- Sorry!

Pull the vehicle to the side of the road.

NCIC says 10-29F, use caution.

Step out of the vehicle, Mr. Patterson.

Okay, coming out of the vehicle

for hands-free?

That seems just a little bit excessive.

Mr. Patterson, you're under arrest.

Under arrest?

You have the right to remain silent.

Hey, wait a second.

Anything you say can and will be

used against you in a court of law.

The arresting officer

ran your license through the NCIC.

You were booked for felony assault

two weeks ago in Florida.

What? No, I wasn't.

What are you talking about?

- I've never even been to Florida.

- You've never been to Florida?

No, sir. This whole morning...

Well, hang on a second.

Was it Winter Park, Florida?

See, that's good.

We're dropping the whole

"there's been a mistake" thing.

I got it now. Listen...

The problem is, Mr. Patterson,

is that you missed your court date

three days ago in Florida.

Officer, let me just explain.

And the judge has

issued a warrant for your arrest.

- Yeah...

- So what we're gonna do

is we're gonna go ahead

and ship you back down to Florida.

You can work on your tan.

Sir. Yeah, listen. You're not listening.

- Sit down.

- Sorry.

There's a person that has my same name

that is doing things in Florida.

This guy is making salon appointments,

he's buying beach equipment.

He's maxing out my credit card.

Are you Sandy Bigelow Patterson,

born May 18th, 1974?

That is you, correct?

Yeah, but it's not me doing this stuff.

I've never even been to the state.

I'm here with you guys.

I'm in Colorado. How can I be in Florida?

Call Winter Park PD. Pull the mug shot.

Okay, uncuff him.

Uncuff me. That's great.

Can I see?

Whoa.

Is that a woman?

If I had to guess,

it's the woman that stole your identity,

obviously taking advantage

of the fact that you have a female name.

Oh, it's not female, it's unisex.

When you say "stole my identity,"

do you mean credit card fraud?

Oh, no, no, it's a lot worse than that.

What happens is,

they get a hold of your name,

your birthday, Social Security.

And then they run up debt,

get arrested, commit crimes as you.

What do you do now?

You go down, you go get her?

Oh, no, we don't go get anyone.

Let me walk you out.

See, we're Denver PD.

All we do is open and close the case.

Now, if she buys something on Amazon,

then Seattle PD would investigate.

Your mobile company's in Ohio,

then Cleveland PD handles that.

Then so on and so forth

for every single theft.

Well, hang on. How long does all this take?

About six months to a year.

A year?

Yeah. So why don't you go ahead

and just leave your contact information

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