Idlewild Page #2

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Now,

y'all gonna throw up.

Look at the keys.

Jackass gonna get my club

torn to pieces.

Hi, daddy.

Hey.

Kids,

y'all be good tonight.

Mind your mother. You want

to go shopping tomorrow?

Yes. Okay. Go on and give me a kiss.

Bye, Daddy.

Bye, Daddy.

Love you.

How's my tie?

Perfect.

I'll see you in the morning.

I'll be glad when the police come

and bust this place up, Rooster.

And don't you come calling me

to bail you out.

Girl, bye.

Here comes the family man.

Sh*t. Family man?

More like bow tie pimp.

Late again, as usual.

Oh, hell, man.

He's going to throw up again?

I'm in here!

No, oh, man. No.

Watch out, ladies.

He gonna blow.

Ladies and gentlemen,

boys and girls,

give it up for

the amazing Rooster.

Evening, ladies.

Hey.

Sho' nuff looking right tonight. Thanks.

Just gotta do one thing.

What's that, baby?

Don't show so much so soon.

You got to give a man

something to dream about.

That's right.

Okay, Rooster.

Okay, my ass.

Bye, daddy.

Rooster.

Ain't he fine?

Riding so smooth, baby.

I'm as smooth as

a baby's bottom is.

No, he didn't.

That's disgusting.

Thanks for holding it

down for me, boy.

No problem.

In the groove.

Too smooth.

Don't you mess with me.

Showtime.

Crocodile on my feet

Fox fur on my back

Bow tie round my neck

That's why they call me the

gangsta mack in the Cadillac

Nasty Noompsy Nightingale

Fresh in that tuxedo

Cummerbund with no suspenders

My torpedo, your libido

Need to chat Chip, chop

it up, shoot the breeze

I'm your R-O-L-A-I-D-S

Release the squeeze

or release the keys

To the shackles on her wrist

She can tackle some of this

Smack on smack

on some of this, Dick Tracy

Arrest her, book her,

fingerprint your hooker

You took her to the club and

now her body's full of liquor

Off that butterscotch schnapps

and Baileys Irish Cream

She's a damsel in distress

Impressed with stylish things

What you mean? Chip, chop

it up, shoot the breeze

In the parking lot we primp

Crooked booty

to the scene where we...

Crocodile on my feet

Fox fur on my back

Bow tie round my neck

That's why they call me

the gangsta mack

In the Cadillac, yeah

Oh, Lord,

how could it be so hard

To put on a pair of panties Much

less a pair of jeans or the leotards

I got to start

by complimenting you

on your physique

On your physique

You unique, you best believe

I'm gonna skeet once I speak

Spoke, spit, spatter, spat

and I macked her just like that

But it'd take

years of perseverance

and experience to get that cat

So why don't I chase this

Hennessy down with some of that?

On your back, like a cheerleader

missing the final stack

As we strut,

skip the line

through the glass

window glance

We look fine, right on time

As we step in the place

The nursery's crunk,

we've come to play

Oh, everybody's watching

'Cause them furs

just hit the dirt

While them gators creeping

Crawling oh-so-wicked

across that floor

To the VIP where we proceed

to give you what you need

Throw your hands up

if you feel me

Careful.

Go, daddy!

'Cause you're well-designed

Bow tie!

Like the finest wine

Bow tie!

Feel good to be fly

Bow tie!

So don't you ask me why

Bow tie!

I got the ladies in line

Bow tie!

Come on over here.

Welcome to the Church.

So raise your hands to the sky

Come on, pull up a chair. Just in

time to see your boy do his thing.

Got my eye on business

Don't jive with me,

jive with me

Got my eye on business

Don't jive with me,

jive with me, sucker

Got my eye on business

Don't jive with me,

jive with me

Got my eye on business

Don't jive with me,

jive with me, sucker

Got my eye on business

Don't jive with me,

jive with me

Got my eye on business

Don't jive with me,

jive with me, sucker

Rooster! Rooster! Rooster!

Hey, boy.

Good show there, Rooster.

Glad you liked it.

Rooster, y'all cut a

fool tonight! Damn, girl.

Hi.

Ace.

You almost got

my goddamn place torn up!

Hey, Rose. Gorgeous dress.

Thanks for noticing, sweetie.

Hey...

Why don't you go chase a couple of

drinks while me and the boys chew the fat?

Sure, daddy.

Anything for you, Rooster.

Taste like chitlins.

Looking dapper as ever.

How you been, Spats?

Never bad, son. Never bad.

Got you a little present.

And I appreciate this already.

Hey, Trumpy!

I guess they let anybody

into the Church.

Ace.

Oh, you taught him

how to speak.

Nice. But the name

is Sunshine Ace, n*gger.

Business look good.

I'm impressed.

We got the prettiest girls

for more than 100 square miles.

We're selling more hot sauce than

anybody this side of the Mason-Dixon.

Ain't that right, sweetheart?

It's been like that for the

past three months, every night.

This sh*t here

sells like canned p*ssy.

I bet you thought I was gonna

say "hotcakes," didn't you?

Bravo, bravo!

Baby Blue,

you have done it again.

Monk, not right now.

You scared

all the women away from me.

Honey Bun and China!

Don't you know I've been working

on them two broads for three weeks,

and you go and heave right in front

of them, and blew the whole night.

"I don't know, Monk.

He kind of strange. "

"No, girls,

you got him all wrong.

"He's a little incentric.

"Classy!"

You're a sad case, man.

Maybe you right.

The word is "eccentric. "

I know the word.

What make you think I want

any of one of these floozies?

Don't you want

somebody worth having?

Ain't nobody talking

about getting hitched!

I just wanna have

a good time.

I know one thing

for sure, Percy.

Better get on

one of these old girls,

'cause nothing will

just drop out the sky!

Damn fool.

Two. Three.

That's what I'm talking about.

Lord.

Good gracious.

Lord, Lord, Lord.

Fellows,

would you look at that there?

Have you ever...

Gentlemen.

Good Lord God almighty.

You look like the man

I'm here to see.

No, I'm sorry, ma'am,

I'm just a piano player.

Well, listen, piano player, I just traveled

19 hours from Saint Louis in a coach seat,

and Angel Davenport

don't ride coach.

Angel Davenport?

The Angel Davenport?

In the flesh, honey.

May I make your acquaintance?

Monk S. Dubois.

The "S" stands for Sherman.

What brings you

to town, Spats?

I wanted you both

to hear it from me.

I'm getting out the business.

Come on, man.

What's the play, man?

This ain't no play, Ace.

I'm tired.

If I don't get out now,

I never will.

Business is doing so good

I can retire, give everybody

a piece of the rock.

For the right price.

Good Lord, girl,

you finer than all outdoors!

Sh*t, girl, you a star!

Of course, we weren't

expecting you till next week.

Well, my show in Saint Louis

finally came to an end.

Three months of back-to-back shows

in that city would wear anybody out.

Now I told my agent, Nathan,

I needed a change of scenery.

He said, "Why not head on

down to Idlewild early?"

Thought I'd come and see what the big

fuss in Idlewild, Georgia, is all about.

I must admit,

so far I'm not impressed.

Twenty-five thousand?

Plus the $1,250 you owe me

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