If.... Page #4

- We'll all be dead by then.

- Well, I believe in having a goal.

That way you succeed.

Actually, that's your trouble.

You have no ambition.

Oh, I know.

Is your mum coming for Founder's Day?

Yes. She's bringing her new husband.

My new dad.

- What's he like?

- Actually, I don't think they're married.

I don't care.

I don't mind at all

about that sort of thing.

I shouldn't mind, should I?

No.

Oh, hell. I don't know.

Quick! Out the back.

That way.

Can you explain yourself?

- What are you up to?

- Nothing.

Who was with you?

No one.

- What did it feel like?

- Like drowning.

What's the most horrible way to die?

Getting a moth caught in your eardrum.

You can hear it as it eats into your brain.

Being flayed alive.

That's what the Crusaders did

to their enemies.

Used to send the neatly folded skins

back to their victims' wives.

Cancer's worse.

My mother took six months.

The night's dead.

You can hardly breathe outside.

The thing I'd really hate...

is to have a nail bang through

the back of my neck.

Slowly.

I don't see what difference

the speed makes.

The speed of the nail.

The -The -The nail's speed!

The nail's speed.

The s-speed.

Thank you, my dear.

Of course,

there's - there's always a lunatic fringe.

There's a certain hard core

in the studies.

- Oh, dear.

- Yes.

I will have to deal firmly with it

in certain instances.

It may be necessary

to make a few examples.

The headmaster doesn't like

too much thrashing.

He wouldn't like College

to get a reputation for decadence.

- Hear! Hear!

- Of course. Of course.

And the juniors. How are the juniors?

On the whole, dull.

- Oh, dear.

- Of course, it's just a matter of proportion.

Unruly elements threaten

the stability of the house.

It's best to nip them in the bud.

Yes.

Well, you -you must do

what you think best.

- Thank you, sir.

- Thank you, sir.

Love so amazing

So divine

Demands my heart

My life

My all

The grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ...

the love of God

and the fellowship of the Holy Ghost...

be with us all evermore.

- Amen.

- Amen.

Senior table.

Quiet.

As soon as you've finished...

juniors to the sweat room

and seniors to their studies.

And wait in silence.

Carry on.

Fisher. That's your second bun!

I saw you. Put it back!

Travisl

Wallacel

Knightlyl

Come in.

Good evening.

I imagine you know why you're here.

No.

For being a nuisance.

A general nuisance in the house.

What do you mean, being a nuisance?

What have we done?

Done?

It's your general attitude.

You know exactly what I mean.

Attitude?

And we've decided to beat you for it.

Stand up properly when

the head of house addresses you.

There's something

indecent about you, Travis.

The way you slouch about.

You think we don't notice you

with your hands in your pockets.

The way you just sit there

looking at everyone.

You three have become a danger

to the morale of the whole house.

You can take that

cheap little grin off your mouthl

I serve the nation.

You haven't the slightest idea

what it means, have you?

To you it's just one bloody joke.

You mean that bit of wool on your tit?

- Christ.

- You're in the sixth form now.

You should be prepared

to set an example of responsibility.

- You're a nuisance.

- You're pathetic.

And as such, you must be punished.

Well, have you anything to say?

Any of you?

Yes. I have.

The thing I hate about you, Rowntree...

is the way you give Coca-Cola

to your scum...

and your best teddy bear to Oxfam...

and expect us to lick

your frigid fingers...

for the rest of your frigid life.

Go down to the gym.

Wait outside.

Wallace.

Get up.

Thank you, Rowntree.

- Only four.

- Knightly.

Done.

Christ, that was a bit low.

Hey, Mick.

Blood?

Yeah. Blood.

Get up.

Thank you, Rowntree.

Travis.

Get your coat off.

Go to the bars.

Bend over.

Wait till you're told!

Get down.

Get up.

- Thank you, Rowntree.

- Thank you.

Thank you, Fortinbras.

Translate, please.

"'And do you not remember, 'I said...

"'that we also said that we must...

"'conduct the children

to war on horseback...

"'to- to be spectators...

"'and wherever it may be safe...

"'bring them to the front

and give them a taste of blood...

as we do with, uh - "'

Uh, "as we do with horses. "

A creditable guess, but no.

Anyone else?

Ayoung she-goat?

Look it up, Rowntree.

"Ayoung dog. A whelp. Puppy. "

For the first time in 13 years...

College House has won

the Bigley Memorial Marathon Chalice.

This house has seen great days.

It's going to see them again.

We're back on the right track at last.

But I don't want you to think

you can relax.

It's up to everyone to pull together.

I want to see each one of you

going all out.

I know you've got it in you.

So let's see College House back on top.

All right.

Right. House thump!

College House!

College House!

College House!

College House!

We're on our own now.

What are we going to do?

Trust me?

Of course.

When are we going to do it?

When I say.

Death to the oppressor.

The resistance.

Liberty.

One man can change the world

with a bullet in the right place.

Real bullets.

Fairest isle

All isles excelling

Seat of pleasure

And of love

Venus here

Shall choose her dwelling

And forsake

Her Cyprian groves

Space, you see, Michael,

is all expanding...

at the speed of light.

It's a mathematical certainty...

that somewhere,

among all those million of stars...

there's another planet

where they speak English.

Have a look.

"The Son of God goes forth to war...

a kingly crown to gain. "

We are all corrupt.

We are all sinful.

We are all meat to be punished.

If a soldier doesn't do his duty,

he expects to be punished.

There are failures great and small...

and there are punishments

great and small.

But there is one failure, one crime...

one betrayal...

that can never be forgiven.

And that betrayal is called desertion.

The deserter in the face of the enemy

must expect to be shot.

Jesus Christ is our commanding officer.

And if we desert him,

we can expect no mercy.

And... we are all deserters.

All right. Corporal, over here.

That's our objective,

where that tree is. Right.

Listen, "D" Section. Come on. Listen.

Hedge junction, 4:00,

bushy top tree.

We will attack and destroy that tree.

Right. Bren gun left.

Go on! Move!

Single filel

Single filel

Come on, Peter. Keep it up.

Well done, that man on the Brenl

Rabbit crawl all the way back to basel

Rabbit crawl, manl

Stop. What are you doing?

It's awful.

You forgot to yell.

The yell of hate.

It's the yell that counts.

Everybody back. At the double.

Ready? Charge!

Chargel

Stop there.

Get down! Get down! Get down!

You're all dead. I've won.

Sergeant's coming round. Re-form your men.

"A"Company, get into line.

Come onl Movel

- All right, Denson.

Bring your men over here. Hurry up.

- Don't dawdle. Now march properly.

- Left, right, left.

- Left. Left.

- That's right. Pick up a set.

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