If I Had a Million Page #2

You were delighted when we promoted

you. The $5 raise, you forget that?

Yes, I know, but breaking china

all the time, I'm really making less money.

- That's organisation, Peabody.

- Couldn't I get back into the books?

Sorry, but we're full up.

However, if you're completely unhappy...

No, no, Mr Bullwinkle, I wouldn't...

I couldn't quit.

My wife would raise... I guess it'll be all

right. I'll have to be a little more careful.

Fine. Remember, Peabody, there's many

a slip between the cup and the counter.

Yes, sir.

Oh, my!

- Is that you, Henry, darling?

- I think so.

Did you have a nice day?

Did anything interesting happen?

You didn't break any more china, did you?

That reminds me, this is payday.

So give me your cheque.

Henry, you've been feeding that rabbit

again. Give me your cheque.

That's a darling. I think it's wonderful. I

was telling Mrs Wilkins just this afternoon.

I think it's perfectly wonderful,

the steady position with a steady income,

day after day, week after week,

year in and year out, rain or shine.

It's perfectly marvellous.

You've no idea the security it gives a woman

to know she has a husband

who's coming home to her

every week with his...

Henry, you broke 11 dollars

and 60 cents worth of china.

- Well, you see, dear...

- I see a great deal more than you see.

Of course,

you haven't got the worries that I have.

You don't sit here day after day, paying

the iceman for milk, the milkman for ice.

Of course, if you want to go on breaking

china, that's entirely your own affair.

Excuse me.

I think it's perfectly ridiculous the way Mrs

Wilkins always boasts about her husband.

I say, "My husband's just as good,

even if you don't think so."

You've no idea

how I have to defend you to our friends.

I understand you cannot help

breaking all that china,

but they think it's rather queer

for a husband and father

to go on day after day,

night after night, year in and year out...

Henry, is anything the matter?

Say what you like, but there is such

a thing as pride in your own daughter.

She writes that she's happy,

but I can read between the lines.

A woman understands things

that a man never can.

Unless a girl is well-dressed,

she hasn't much chance

of marrying anyone worthwhile.

I was the best-dressed girl

when you married me.

Not that I'm complaining, but if you don't

stop being careless and breaking china,

there won't be much chance for her

to have the clothes every girl ought to.

Isn't that so, Henry?

Henry, are you listening to me?

Henry. Henry!

Now, I know you're trying,

but you're sure to drop this vase

which is worth six months of your pay,

sweetheart.

Oh, my!

Now, Henry, I don't want to reproach you,

but I want to make you feel like a dirty rat.

Polly wants a cracker and I want your

cheque, darling. Give me your cheque.

Stop it! Stop it!

Isn't it difficult enough as it is?

Don't you see I'm helping you, Henry?

I told you I'd do it.

I told you I'd...

But of course, Henry,

if you want to make a fool of yourself,

I'm not one to whimper and cry.

And if you can't think

of your home and your daughter...

Goodbye, Henry dear.

I'm so proud of you.

I was telling Mrs Wilkins how wonderful it is

to have a husband like Henry Peabody.

A man who, day after day

and week after week...

Goodbye, dear.

- Mr Henry Peabody?

- Yes, sir.

My name's John Glidden.

I want to talk to you.

Well, uh...

If it's about the payment on the piano,

I can explain.

- But I...

- Uh...

Let's get away from the house.

I... I have a very good reason.

Uh, look, do you like rabbits?

Rabbits?

Not much. Why?

Well, this is how it happened.

My wife gave me the $12

for the payment on the piano

and I knew where I could buy

a very fine pedigree rabbit for $12.

If you loved rabbits the way I do,

you'd know how I felt.

My business with you has nothing

whatever to do with rabbits or pianos.

I have something here...

11:
10, indeed.

Who does he think he is?

When Peabody comes in,

send him to me.

Very good, sir.

- What?

- Look, it's...

You wait there, Theodore.

- Good morning.

- What the...? Peabody, you'll pay for that!

OK, Winky.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

- Charlie, keep track of everything.

- Smithers, call the police!

Yes, go ahead.

Call them all, call them all.

Oh, my soul!

Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

- I was told I'd probably find her here.

- Yup, here's where she hangs out.

Well, you can never tell

by looking at a guy, can you?

There she is, mister.

In the flesh.

Thank you.

- Are you Violet Smith?

- What about it?

- I want to talk to you.

- Talk? You wanna talk to me?

Isn't there someplace we can go?

Someplace where we can be alone?

I get it.

No, no! No!

No, it's nice down here.

We'll stay down here.

It's all right by me, mister.

There's a vacant booth over there.

The letter is in case

you have trouble with the cheque.

All right, wise guy.

What's the gag?

- There is no gag, I assure you.

- Don't give me that.

How would you like me

to call a cop?

My dear girl, you can call as many cops

as you like. That's perfectly legitimate.

I can't get it through my dome.

You mean that I...

In case you need me,

my number's on the letterhead.

Well, hello there, baby!

Well, come here.

Show Miss Smith to 1519.

- Are you sure it's the best in the house?

- We have none better.

- Are you Mr Sheldon's chauffeur?

- Yeah.

- I thought he had a coloured boy.

- He did, but he fired him.

Too much moonshine, I guess.

Pardon me just a moment.

- Mr Monroe.

- Yes?

What about this?

Shall I pay it?

If it isn't the work of that forger we've been

warned about, I'm crazy. Look at that n.

You're right.

It's a false cheque.

There he goes, Mike!

Come in.

- Are you Eddie Jackson?

- Who wants to know?

I do. I've been trying

to get in touch with you all day.

It looks like him, all right.

Only he was in a chauffeur's uniform

and didn't have a moustache.

Well, is he the guy or ain't he?

The identification has to be positive,

you know.

- I'm positive. He's the guy, all right.

- Great. He'll go up for life if we catch him.

- Life? For forgery?

- Sure. It's his fourth offence.

Sure it means life.

Locked up as long as he lives.

Yes, it's absolutely all yours.

Can I do what I want with it?

You can spend it exactly as you please,

young man.

When can I get cash on this?

I gotta blow town and I'm in a spot.

- Cash?

- Yes, I gotta have it.

It's my dough, ain't it?

Why do you need so much cash?

I need it, that's all.

And where can I get it?

- Aren't you known at any banks?

- Plenty.

I'll take care of that. You'll have to

excuse me now, Pop. I gotta work fast.

- Good luck.

- Thanks. I'll need it.

And thanks a million times.

All of it? I'm afraid that's impossible,

Mr Jackson. No bank has that much cash.

Oh, of course.

Well... well, could I have part of it?

- How much would you like?

- Would 100,000 be too much?

Well, I'll have to see about it,

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