If I Had My Way Page #3

to raise anybody's child.

Much less the daughter

of a brother

I haven't even seen

or heard from in 15 years.

Well, you just can't ignore

it. What are you going to do?

I don't know. I don't know

what I'm going to do.

But I've got to do something!

My, what a friendly city.

Everybody's smiling. I like that.

Yeah, well, you're safe

until they start laughing.

Oh, look.

Say, Buzz, even the squirrels

are different in New York.

Yeah. They streamline them.

Hey, look at this. There you are,

Pat. What do you think of her?

Ain't she cute? I bet she's

Charlie McCarthy's sweetheart.

Buzz, I don't have to wear

things like that, do I?

I'd look like a cream puff.

Well, they don't look like cream

puffs. They look like little ladies.

That's the way you should look.

I want your relatives to like you

when they meet you for the first time.

That's right. If you don't like a

man when you meet him the first time,

make sure the first time is

the last time.

Now that's... That's an

old Swedish proverb. I know.

Come on. Come on.

We have an excellent selection here. I

think you'll find everything you want.

Look, Pat. That looks like the hat I

wore when I was a little boy in Stockholm.

Yep, came here on a slow boat.

Shall we look at dresses first?

Well, we're a little in the dark

about what the well-dressed

young ladies are wearing.

Why don't you take over, huh?

Very well. Come with me, dear.

Here, Axel, will you take care

of Crack, please?

Come on, little squirrel.

Miss Corbett, is Mrs.

Taylor's daughter with you?

No, she isn't. I think Mrs.

Taylor's chauffeur called for her.

Thank you.

I wonder how Pat will look when

she's dressed like a little girl.

That's simple,

like a little girl.

That looks lovely. As far as I'm

concerned, they're all terrible.

Well, we have some others that

are slightly less dramatic.

Try this one, Mrs. DeLacey.

It absolutely defeats me.

Some man with a perverted sense of humor

must be designing women's hats today.

They all make you look

ridiculous. Well, Mrs. DeLacey...

This is the end. This one makes

me look like a fruit salad.

We have the accessories, too. There

are gloves and a bag that go with it.

All I need with this

is some whipped cream.

Oh, this is the last straw.

This is the last straw!

What is it? There was

a wolf-rat on that hat.

He tried to bite me.

What is it, Mrs. DeLacey?

Is something wrong?

What kind of a shop is this?

A wild animal climbed up on my head

as I'm sitting there trying on a hat.

A wild animal?

Yes, a wild animal.

My dear Mrs. DeLacey,

you must be imagining things.

Don't you tell me I'm

imagining things. It was a wolf.

I saw its fangs when it snarled.

Madam, we may have had an

occasional wolf at the door,

but never inside of the shop.

Goodness sake!

Here, little squirrel.

Here, Crackie. Crackie.

Here, Crackie.

Here, Crackie. Crackie.

Here, Crackie.

Here, little squirrel.

Here, Crackie.

I was just looking

for a little squirrel.

Wolves! Squirrels! Oh!

Oh, how do you do, Mrs. Bradbury.

I'm so glad to see you again.

We've got some of the loveliest

things in the shop this season.

I shall love

to show them to you.

Yes.

See. There he is. Ain't he cute?

Nice going, Axel. That's the

stuff, huh? Bring him back alive.

Oh, boy. To keep track of Crack is harder

to find in a haystack with needles in it.

What did you say about Crack?

Well, I was just telling Buzz...

Doesn't she look lovely? Well, I

certainly hope you're satisfied.

Buzz, I'm so mad. I wouldn't do

this for anybody but you. I...

Look at Pat.

There we are. And here's

the finishing touch.

I can't believe it.

Buzz, is it really me?

In person. You're a little young for a glamour

girl but you're off to a flying start.

That's right.

I'll get the grips. Madame?

Pay the nice lady, Axel.

Yes. I've got it right here.

How much is that? You see...

What's the number

of Mr. Johnson's apartment?

26-D, sir. That's my

lucky number. Here we go.

Here, you look after this fellow,

Pat. He behaves better for you.

You'd better take him, Axel.

I'm a little nervous.

Okay. Come on, Crackie,

you go down in there.

I'll keep in touch

with you from time to time.

Is Mr. Johnson in?

Mr. Johnson is not at home.

Oh, well. My name is Blackwell.

This is Mr. Johnson's niece.

He's expecting us. We'd like

to wait if you don't mind.

As you wish, sir.

Make yourselves comfortable.

Thank you. Thank you.

Say, I guess this is what

they call living high, huh?

Oh, you're sharp as

jailhouse coffee today, Axel.

Now, Pat, how would you feel if

you came here in those overalls?

I don't think they'd

have let me in.

Well, this is your new home, Pat.

You might as well get used to it.

My, my.

They eat out in the open air,

just like we do when we knock

off for lunch on the bridge.

Must be a party for you, Pat.

Gee, my relatives

never welcome me like that.

You're gonna stay,

aren't you, Buzz?

I wouldn't know how to act

in a place like this.

Don't act. Just be yourself,

you'll be all right.

Buzz, you know, this is wonderful.

I feel right at home here.

My uncle must have a very good

business to live in a place like this.

Why don't you get rich, Buzz?

Oh, that's a full-time job,

Pat, and I'm a very busy man.

You're a very busy man.

Well, I am.

By a country road

wild roses grow.

That need my special care.

So I haven't time

to be a millionaire.

And a cheerful brook

on a mountainside.

Is sad when I'm not there.

So I haven't time

to be a millionaire.

And a friendly gang of robins.

Are peeved when I forget.

That I am the second tenor

in their quartet.

So with all the things

I have to do.

I'm very much aware.

If I wished for wealth.

It wouldn't be quite fair

'Cause I haven't time

to be a millionaire.

By a country road

wild roses grow.

That need my special care.

So I haven't time

to be a millionaire.

And a cheerful brook

on the mountainside.

Is sad when I'm not there.

So I haven't time

to be a millionaire.

And a friendly gang of robins.

Are peeved when I forget.

That I'm the second tenor

in their quartet.

So with all the things

I have to do

I'm very much aware.

If I wished for wealth.

It wouldn't be quite fair.

Be quite fair

'Cause I haven't time

to be a millionaire.

How do you do?

I hope I'm not intruding.

How do you do?

My name is Blackwell. This is

Axel Swenson and this is Patricia.

Hello. Hello.

How do you do?

You wanted to see me?

Why, yes,

if you're J.B. Johnson, we do.

You'll pardon us, Jarvis,

dear. Of course, Brenda.

Shall we go out on the terrace?

I'm J.B. Johnson.

What can I do for you?

I thought I explained it

in my telegram.

Telegram? There must be some

mistake. What is it you want?

Why, I wired you all about...

I wired you I was bringing Pat

here to stay with you.

Are you sure you have the

right Johnson? Why, I think so.

I've got the address right here. It's

J.B. Johnson, 940 East 56th Street.

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