If I Were You Page #9

My god, you didn't even

know his name!

I know all about Keith, too.

Keith?

I know you've been sleeping

with him for over a year.

Yeah. Just hoping I'd have an affair

so that you can get a

better divorce settlement.

Well, it's not gonna happen,

Madelyn! Okay?

I'm fighting you for everything!

- Okay.

Absolutely out of your mind.

Here. There you go.

I'll pack that.

Take these.

You can have someone to clean up

after yourself, pack your pillow

so you can snore all you

want with Lucy!

What do you mean, Madelyn's not coming?

- Well, I'm not certain,

but I'd be very surprised if

she showed up.

Is she ill?

- No.

Could you call her?

- No. I'm not calling her.

But we need our Lear.

- Can't you find someone else?

No, you can't just have

anybody play Lear.

We'll have to cancel the play.

She seemed so reliable!

What happened?

Well, she's not even an actress.

I'm the actress. I'm the one

that has the right to be here.

And frankly, she was here

just for one reason,

she had this scheme to distract me

so I'd forget about the man I love.

Would that be her husband?

Yeah.

- I thought so.

Perhaps we could call her husband.

Presumably, you have his number.

He could tell us where she is.

- No, he could not.

He's living with me now.

Now I understand.

Are you sure that

Madelyn is all right?

If her husband left her today,

for you, presumably she'd be upset.

We've all read the tragedies.

Oh, no! She wouldn't.

I don't think so.

- You don't think.

Knock harder.

- Do it again. - Is she hurt?

I think we should call the police.

Seriously?

- Oh! Thank God.

Come on.

Thank god you're here.

I don't know what we would

have done if you hadn't been home.

Are you all right?

Of course. I'm fine.

Well, when we heard what

happened, we...

It's just life.

50% of marriages

end up in divorce.

And everybody's mother dies.

To tell you the truth, I'll be

glad to get rid of this house.

I swear I've spent the last 10

years doing housework.

I just...

Need a day to deal with it.

Then you'll be at

rehearsal tomorrow?

No.

I'm not doing the play.

You can't quit!

If you quit, they have to cancel.

I don't know how much

she's told you.

Everything.

Oh, well, then you know we

can't be on the stage together.

I can if she can.

I'll get some coffee.

You shouldn't be drinking

alcohol is a depressant.

Well, and if we have to choose,

we'd rather get rid of Lucy than you.

Definitely.

Look, I know this isn't

the best time,

but I wouldn't ask you to

do this if I didn't believe

it was the best thing for you...

I don't want to disappoint

everybody, but... I'm exhausted.

I mean, maybe if I was

their age, you know...

No, no. If you were their age, you

wouldn't understand the part.

Gielgud was a horrible Lear at 26.

That's the best thing

about being old.

Look, you have learned so

much more about life

love never works out,

we're all going to... die.

So you can finally

play the juicy roles.

Well, men can.

Please don't make us cancel it.

I memorized all my lines!

My grandmother's already

paid for her plane ticket.

It's only three weeks till

opening night.

Yeah, and the play will

probably close after the first night.

Yes. We've only sold 17 tickets.

Look, I know this might

mean nothing to you, but

it's the best thing that's

ever happened to me.

Three weeks.

Wonderful, wonderful!

Look, you take today to do

whatever it is that you need to

do, and we'll see you tomorrow.

I promise this is

just what you need.

Oh, I'm so happy.

You get some sleep.

Are you eating?

You have to take

care of yourself.

And if you need anything,

anything at all,

you just let us know, all right?

We did it!

I can't believe it!

It's so wonderful!

You remember the day we met,

you told me,

If you give yourself a little time,

an impulse will go away?

Yes.

Now go away.

Oh. I'm sorry.

I was... just a...

waiting for someone

I thought might... show up.

Taxi dropped this

off for you, sir.

Thank you.

Other way.

Lion face. Mouse face.

Lion face. Release the jaw.

And shake it out.

Shake it out.

No, no, no. She's a

C.E.O.'s daughter, not a hooker.

All right, ladies and gentlemen.

It's five minutes to places.

Let's go out there and

make magic tonight.

Magic!

No, just a little closer.

that's my motivation.

They look good.

- You're making me really uncomfortable.

Lear, Lear, Lear, Lear!

Go, Shakespeare!

It's time.

Are you still worried about

your acting abilities?

I think you've proved that

they're pretty good.

Let's just get on with it, okay?

Do you still love him?

- F*** off.

Do you miss him?

- F*** off!

We were married for

a long time, Lucy.

We shared each other's lives.

My mother's gone, I'm about to

lose my home, and the only thing

that's gotten me through these

last few weeks is this play, and

we're just about to be laughed

off the stage.

So don't expect me to make

you feel better, okay?

It's all Madelyn this and

Madelyn that.

What?

I knew he didn't love me.

I just wanted to get back

at you for tricking me.

So let's hope you were right

when you said I could do better.

Tonight I'll tell him the truth.

I'll tell him you never slept

with that guy you work with.

And I'll tell him you didn't

sleep with the other one, too.

I mean, only married people

think one f*** matters anyway.

We're starting!

I get it...

Why you would hate the woman

who's trying to steal your husband.

I get it.

But then why...

Why did you help me?

Because I started to like you.

Just remember, this entire

play is resting on your shoulders.

Now relax.

The queen is coming.

Go.

Attend the lords of...

of... France,

Burgundy, Gloucester.

- I shall, my liege.

Meantime...

Meantime, we shall express our

darker purpose. Give me the map there.

Know that we have divided

in three our kingdom, and

'tis our fast intent to shake all cares

and business from our age,

conferring them on younger

strengths while we, unburdened,

crawl toward death.

I did her wrong.

Can't you tell me how an

oyster make his shell?

No. - Nor I neither, but I can tell

you why a snail has a house. - Why?

Why, to put her head in it, not

to give it away to her daughters

and leave her horns

without a case.

I shall forget my nature,

so kind a mother.

Be my cars ready?

- Thy asses are gone about them.

To take it again, perforce!

Monster ingratitude!

If thou were my fool,

I'd have thee beaten...

For being old before thy time.

- How is that?

Thou shouldst not have been

old till thou hadst been wise.

You see me here, you Gods,

an old woman, full of grief as age

wretched in both.

If it be you that stir these

daughters' hearts against their mother,

fool not to bear it tamely.

Touch me with noble anger, and

let not women's weapons, water drops,

stain my cheeks.

No, you unnatural hags,

I will have such revenges on you both

that all the world shall...

I will do such things, yet I

know not what I will do, but

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