Igor Page #2

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the respect he gets!

Respect? Respect

isn't gonna keep me

in baby-seal boots.

(SEAL WHIMPERING)

You just need to

keep on winning

Well, that is spoken

like a true worthless

leech,

who, by the way still has

not helped me steal this

year's winning invention.

You know,

maybe if you were

a real scientist,

you wouldn't need

me to help you

cheat every year.

(MACHINERY WHINING)

(SNICKERS)

Your whole

lab is fake,

just like you.

And maybe I should

throw you back in the

gutter where I found you!

You're one to talk,

Dr. Schadenfraude!

You don't have

the guts.

(GASPS)

(GROANING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(GASPS)

(LAUGHING)

Is Daddy still

mad at me?

No.

But you and

your friend

Heidi

still have a litt e

job to do.

Oh, we're trying.

Well, try a little

bit harder!

Because this year,

I won't stop at

just winning the

Evil Science Fair.

(JACLYN LAUGHING)

I'm gonna unleash

my winnlng invention

on the King's

smug little face,

and then he'll be

the one groveling

at my feet!

(YODELING)

Hi there!

Look, it's your

little girlfriend,

Heidi.

You take a cocoa break,

and I'll guard

your plans for

your new invention.

No, wait! You'll

spill on my plans.

Heidi, you re not

careful enough!

You're so sloppy

sometimes.

Oh, poopshkin.

I went to the evil

bookstore and got you

an inspirational poster.

It's a little kitten!

To remind you to always

take time in your day

for a little torture

My transducer!

Time to go

I have no time for

cocoa or kittens!

I have to work on

my plans alone

and in secret.

(EXCLAIMING)

In otherwords,

bon voyage.

Who doesn't like

tortured kittens?

I...

I like kittens.

I don't like dirty

little hunchpeople.

Great, Schadenfreude's

gonna kill me.

(SIGHS)

And why are there

two transducers?

Master, the 21- gigawatt

might be somewhat safer,

I think.

Think? Igors

don't think.

I m using the

you fool!

Now get over there

and pull the switch!

What are you

waiting for?

Yes, Master!

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

I told you the

you Igor

Behold my rocket ship

(CACKLES)

Born to stream

through the world,

un eashing pain and

misery on everyone.

I named her after

you, Mother.

(CACKLING)

(ALARM BLARING)

Now to take the old

cow for a test drive.

No, Master!

The rocket

is going to...

(GLASS SHATTERING)

Uh... Yeah that.

SCAMPER:
Finally.

Now I can throw out

that rug in the foyer

That thing is hideous.

We were all thinking

it. I just said it.

(BANGING ON DOOR)

Oh, no, who's that?

What am I gonna do?

Relax, this is

Glickenstein's

castle.

And he doesn't have

to open that door

for anyone.

ROYAL GUARD:

Open for the King!

Except for the King.

Oh, my God

Oh, my God

He's here to

see Glickenstein!

What do I tell him?

Tell him the truth.

And if he kills us,

I'll come back

and give you a

beautiful funeral.

Right, right. The truth,

that's a good option.

Right, right.

Glicky!

Glicky, my boy

Where's Glicky?

Your Highness,

he's gone.

Curse it I need to

see his invention.

Schadenfreude is

getting too popular.

The people might

make him king.

Someone has

to beat him

this year,

with an invention

more evil than his.

Someone who can snatch

Schadenfreude's number

one position

and rub his face

In number two!

BOTH:
Ew!

Your Highness,

Dr. Glickenstein is

creating life!

Did you say "life"?

Yes.

Think ng, breathing

life that can destroy

freely all on its own.

No Evil Scientist

has ever been able

to create life!

(WHIMPERING)

Oh, sure they've

mutated life.

They've ended life.

They've blasted ife

into a million gooey

pieces.

But created life?

A weapon like that would

be the greatest Evil

Invention of all time.

And its inventor

the greatest Evil

Scientist of all time?

Of course!

This is what I've

been waiting for.

And it's your job

to make sure nothing

happens to Glickenstein,

or I'll throw

you down the

recycling chute

and use your hunch

as a speed bump!

(GULPS)

Oh, this is big.

Schadenfreude'is

winning streak is over.

Come on boys!

Let's go kick

some old people.

(LAUGHS)

Ow! What is wrong

with you?

That's for having

a death wish.

That's my thing.

I am not gonna

die, Scamper.

For the first time ever,

I'm gonna live!

(SCREAMS)

I sometimes come

down here to think.

Wow, how interesting.

What' s next?

You're gonna

pull out a guitar

and play us a song you

wrote in college about

being misunderstood?

(BOTH SCREAMING)

I know, right?

And she's not

even done yet.

(SCREAMING)

(JUMP, JIVE 'N' WAIL PLAYING)

Baby, baby, It looks

like it's gonna hail

Baby, baby, It looks

like it's gonna hail

You better come inside

Let me teech you

how to jive and wail

(BRAIN SCREAMING)

Come on, bigger.

Do it. Come on,

make it bigger.

Bigger!

(SCREAMS)

Okay to the left.

Very good. Now

back to the right.

No, no, no!

To the left, now back

to the right. To the

right. To the right.

Is that even

herhand?

(GROANS)

(EXCLAIMS)

And now to

make her skin

indestructible.

You gotta jump, jive,

and then you wail

You gotta jump, jive,

and then you wail

You gotta jump, jive,

and then you wail

(SCREAMS)

(LAUGHING)

Did you see that?

Shoot him again.

And now,

the crucial

last piece,

the source of all

the Monster's power,

the Evil Bone.

I have to hurry.

It loses its power

in the light.

That's it.

Only one thing

left to do.

(CHUCKLES)

He said "do."

Pull the switch!

(ECHOING)

Do not yell at me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I was just...

Pull the switch.

Please pull the switch.

That's better.

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Why does he get to

pull the switch?

(SIGHS)

Because I'm not

an idiot, Brian.

My name is not Brian!

Then you must

have his jar.

Stop! You can both

pull the switch.

On the count

of three. One.

Hey! No fair!

You said we could

both pull the...

(SCREAMS)

(SHUDDERING)

Rise!

Rise!

(ALARM BLARING)

(POWERING DOWN)

I...

I don't believe it.

I'm a failure.

I'm a...

I'm an Igor.

Get rid of

that thing.

I never want to

see it again.

Funny you should

say that.

Uh... Igor? Yeah.

Where did the

monster go?

I don't know, Brain.

May I suggest

looking behind

you?

(SCREAMS)

It was just a suggestion.

(BRAIN SQUEAKING)

Maybe it just

spontaneously

combusted?

Oh, yeah sure.

I've read about

that in...

Who am I kidding?

I can't read!

(CLANGING)

(METALLIC CREAKING)

(ALL GASP)

(SHUDDERS)

(EXCLAIMS IN ALARM)

(ROARING)

And just like that

she was out of

their lives.

I did it. I...

I created life.

Has that

hole alwayss

been there?

Come on!

SCAMPER:
Let me

get this straight

We are chasing after

the bloodthirsty

monster?

"Home For

Blind Orphans."

(SCREAMING)

Oh God,

she's killing

blind orphans!

That's so evil!

I mean, which

is great, but...

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

Blind orphans!

(KIDS LAUGHING)

(SQUEALING)

I wanna go next

(WHOOPING)

Me, me, pick me!

I wonder what

diabolical deed

she has planned next.

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