Immigration Tango Page #8

---

Should have thought about that

before you humped Betty.

I explained that

already.

Look, you blew it.

I'm sad to see her go,

but there's

nothing more I can do.

I'm done with it. I'm done...

done with both of you.

You can't let her go,

man. She trusts you.

I trust you. What kind

of friend is that?

You tell me!

You f***ed my girlfriend.

I already

explained to you.

That meant

nothing to me.

That's what pisses me off!

If it meant nothing,

why'd you do it?

I don't know.

I'm Latin.

It's in my blood.

Did you f*** Elena today too?

What?

I saw your hands

all over her.

I was comforting her,

man!

Did you f*** my wife?

Gentlemen,

take it outside.

My girlfriend

isn't enough for you?

You want Elena too?

Let's just

go outside, amigo.

We'll talk about it.

I'm very sorry, man.

Look, Mike, I'm sorry.

I was wrong.

I wish

I could unfuck her.

I wish I could take back

what I said to

the Immigration woman.

But when you're talking

about Elena, man,

I don't know

what you're saying.

Look, I didn't tell Elena

about Betty.

I... I didn't want

to hurt her feelings.

But things can't go back

the way they were.

Well, it doesn't

matter now.

She's leaving

anyway, right?

What, you didn't tell her?

What, are you crazy, man?

She'll have me by the balls.

Coward!

[Car alarm blares]

[Knocks on panel]

Knock, knock.

Come in.

You haven't been

returning my phone calls.

I know.

I didn't know what to say.

About what?

This is f***ing perfect, man.

Just chill out, man.

I've been here before.

I haven't.

There's always

a first time

for everything,

like golf.

Just relax, okay?

We're gonna

get out of here.

We just won't press

charges on each other.

It's that simple.

I mean, it's your fault

that we're in here

anyway.

Why the f***

did you hit me?

You should have told Elena.

It was not my place

to do that.

You want to sleep

with both of 'em.

She's my girlfriend,

okay?

She's also my wife.

Ese...

o.

Tiene tremendo cul

What'd he say?

He said you had

a cute ass.

Uh, gracias.

Muy bueno.

Real nice.

Uh, gracias.

De nada.

I see you got

a new girlfriend.

I hate you.

Right back at you.

Told you we'd get out.

You just gotta learn

how to chill out

once in a while, you know?

Make a hole!

Hey, uh, thank you

for a wonderful night.

My friend here met

a lot of nice friends.

[Laughs]

Hey, Mike, come on.

Have a sense of humor, man.

You're so uptight.

RENEE FAIN:

# Monday minutes drag into

# The evening... #

I have to go back.

I know. I ran into Carlos.

How soon do you have to go?

My plane is

at 4 P.M. Tomorrow.

Jesus.

Don't mess around, do they?

I... I feel horrible

about this, Elena.

# Lot of some sweet urge

# As I won't tire #

# Until these ties untangle?

# Days and counting #

# Hours we'd have

in between them #

# If only I could

recognize... #

Elena...

Don't say anything.

It will make things harder.

I don't want it

to end this way.

I know.

# Doors and windows #

# They are open now #

# Now #

# If only I could recognize?

# The truth #

# Wednesday's heart

beats faster #

# Fighting Thursday #

# Which gets in its way?

# As a song brings Friday

to its knees #

# My heart and hand,

my fingers freeze #

# I search

to find some relief #

# If only I could recognize?

# The truth #

# Doors and windows #

# They are opening now?

[Telephone rings]

Hello.

Come to the dock

with the Vespa.

Why?

I'm gonna stop Elena

from leaving.

Bring that tie you got

for Christmas.

Why do I need a tie?

I like the frigging tie!

JOEY HOLLAND:

# Once again, my friend?

# They start the search?

# Off and running... #

Agent Ravencourt!

[Groans]

Agent Ravencourt!

Mr. White?

I love my wife.

# Time goes flying #

# You can hear it pass?

[Car horns honking]

Out of the way,

a**hole!

# Held together

by the winds of change #

# Winds forever

comin' down the range #

# But it's a way to be #

# And if our hearts

are free #

# Maybe our minds can be

# Maybe our eyes

could see the way #

# There'll be sadness

in our history #

# Free's the last thing

we wanna be #

# Held together

in security #

Mike!

# Next to you, babe,

next to me #

You can't arrest me.

I'm leaving.

I'm not here

to arrest you.

As the wife

of Michael White,

an American citizen,

you are welcome

to stay.

Welcome to America.

How did you do this?

Well, I said if she

was gonna send you away,

then I'd have to go

with you to Russia.

She said, "I hope you

catch pneumonia and die."

[Elena laughs]

Then I asked her

if she'd ever been in love,

the kind of love

that gets you in the gut,

where you can't stand

to be away

from the other person

even for a minute.

If she sent you away,

she'd be ripping out

a piece of my heart,

and I'd never get

to find another person

I'd want to spend

the rest of my life with.

And that did it?

Not really.

Um, when I started to cry

and got down on my knees

and begged,

then she realized

that I loved you

and I wanted you

to be my wife.

I never could

stand the sight

of a grown man crying.

Have a good life.

And leave

that motorbike for me.

You two

can catch a cab.

There's only one problem.

I checked all my bags

to Russia.

I don't have any clothes.

I don't have

a problem with that.

P.A. Recording:

The white zone is for loading

and unloading

of passengers only.

[Patria y Libertadplaying]

Man:
# Wow #

# Huhh #

[Man singing in Spanish]

Whoo-hoo!

Hoo-hoo! Yeah!

[Applause]

I get two weddings,

Mr. White?

Only one that counts,

Mrs. White.

It's not too late

for us, Betty Boo.

Ohh. Take care, Carlos.

Yeah?

Yeah.

By the way,

I'm a real lawyer now.

Hey.

I'm glad I could help.

[Chanting]

Speech! Speech!

Whoo!

Whoo!

[Cheering]

Here's to the happy couple

and many, many

bilingual grandchildren.

Ha ha ha!

Yes, sir.

To love,

friendship and family,

the true poetry of life.

Ohh.

Ohh.

I know. I know.

You're next,

littlechiquita.

MAN:
Bravo.

With who?

With me,

the Latin lover, baby.

[Laughs] I don't

think so, Carlos.

Are you still looking

for an American citizen

to marry, Mr. Sanchez?

Ho ho. Well,

I still have, uh...

another week left

on my, uh, visa.

Perhaps I can help.

Oh, yeah? How's that?

I have a feeling

you could rock my boat,

baby doll.

Come here, you gorgeous

hunk of man.

Okay, I...

Come here.

[Overlapping conversations]

Okay, wait, wait, wait.

I'm sorry.

Look, I didn't mean that.

I'm not really

a Latin lover, okay?

There's not enough room

in my boat. Please. Please.

I'm... You're too much

of a woman for me.

Please. Please.

Oh, my God.

I don't even like meat.

I'm a vegetarian.

I'm really

not this Latin lover.

I'm gay. Yes, I'm gay.

Please. I... I like men.

I... I love men.

I don't even like women.

It's all a lie.

I'm going back to Colombia

with my boat, and...

and it's just there's

not enough room for you.

Please. Please...

JOEY HOLLAND:

# Just like we planned it?

# This must be love #

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes