Imprisoned: Survival Guide for Rich and Prodigal Page #2

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Every girl in there's

older than my mom!

And they're still

able to get off on it

If they knew how I used to party

even just hearing the story

would probably get them off

(Just before prison)

This is May,

my actual girlfriend.

Isn't she pretty?

I really do love her

because she's perfect

in every way

Except her figure

It's just that it wasn't

until after England

that I knew what love meant

Better yet, what

"making love" meant

But no matter how

much I played around

May was always the

one in my heart

Even my HKGolden forum login

ID was inspired by her

(G F-Has-Mini-Titties)

Let me introduce you

This is Vivian, a chick I keep

on the side for 50k a month

Check her out...

She even knows how to

yoga-pose when she blows

You can tell it's like

a mission for her

(Baby May)

Hello, baby

Where are you?

Nowhere, just meeting

up with friends

What's with your face?

L...got a...cramp

I'll call you right back, ok?

You have a leg cramp?

See me down here

how difficult it is?

Never had a cramp

You are so gorgeous!

Wait, wait

Clean that up

They're partying

outside...let's go

All clear...

Hello, everybody. I'm late

- Latecomer!

- Whoah!

That's a museum-quality rack...

What an aura!

Even Vivian has got

to make room for her

Actually, Vivian understands

our arrangement

And even knows the right time

to provide assistance

Your friend is drunk

I'll go send him home

Wait a sec

While you're at it, have

the valet get my car

I firmly believe...

that every Hong Kong

girl has a G-spot

No, wait. A weak spot

Every Hong Kong girl's

G-spot is materialistic

My brand new Maserati

proved the rule again

girls get wet once they're in

So naughty

Why do supercars

use V12 engines?

As said on HKGolden Forum

The louder your car engine roars

the louder your

girl moans in bed

What's wrong? What happened?

My new paint...

Hello? I'm at Aldrich Bay Park

There's a Maserati here,

license plate SV7102

He just ran over an old lady

Send someone over, quickly

Hey, he's getting back into the car!

Forget the details, he is taking off!

Well? Can we go now?

Move it

Granny, are you okay?

Don't arrest me

Well? Can you get into the van?

I don't feel too well, officer

Can I help you, ma'am?

I'm his mother

I'm the attorney for

the party involved

I want to go home

Nelson?

Nelson? Are you okay?

- I don't feel well, Mamma

- Everything alright?

Don't worry, Mommy's here.

Don't you worry

Hey, you're the mother, right?

Your son drove drunk

struck a pedestrian, and fled

I'm arresting him

Have you checked

him for injuries?

He didn't ask to be checked

Not asking means he

doesn't need it?

Then how do you know

whether he's injured?

He said himself he's fine

You can't take that

attitude with my mom!

It's okay. Just sit down

Unless he asks, he

doesn't need checking?

Don't you see his mental state?

Do you know if he has

internal injuries?

Mr. Wong, take down

his badge number

- Sure - File a complaint

with his supervisor

What's your badge number?

Mom may have gotten the

better of that cop

but two clays later,

I still went to jail

The defendant, Nelson Yu

standing accused of

reckless driving

in consideration of

a plea of guilty

is hereby sentenced

to 18 months...

The time is now 6:30am

All inmates must now rise

The time is now 6:30am

Boss, wake up

Hey, s-s-sorry, buddy

W-w-wake up, man

Get up!

Wake up now!

Sorry about that

Ever since Marx's Das Kapital

I started to understand

that all our actions

revolve around the

evil that is money

In prison, everything revolves

around the evil

that is cigarettes

And prison is an

evil cigarette world

Morning, Boss (grunts)

You know, Szeto cutting

in line I can understand

but why can everyone

else jut right in?

They have smokes

Hey! Oh! Morning, sir

You all know what prison

commerce means, right?

It means as long as you

have no cigarettes

even a scumbag can

push you around

What do you want?

Set-meal A

Oh, set-meal A

What's wrong with that?

Nothing wrong. The food

is guaranteed to be safe

Then I'll switch to Set B

Sure...next time!

Hi, Auntie! (Argot for swearing)

Eat up!

Hey! That's outta line

You're cleaning it up

Sorry!

What is this?

It tastes really off

Doesn't it taste a

lot like dish soap?

That question

was the talk of the town

and I was stupid

enough to pick meal A

Want better choices?

If you have cigarettes then you

can score real food like them

A lot of working stiffs

think work is worse than prison

But nothing is

worse than working

while you're already in prison

Here, work means

paying down debt

But a new guy like me?

I'd have to endure an entire month

before I could buy a pack of smokes

it's worse than North Korea!

New guys not only make nothing

they also get the

worst work in laundry

...handling "pastries"

Oh, god!

Are those feces in these briefs?

That so damned strange?

Hey, I saw a load of

feces where inside

was a wholly intact

piece of vegetable

It was a mess

but the vegetable was untouched

Pretty damned weird, right?

Hey!

- What the hell, man!

- You're getting it everywhere

That any worse than this?

Hey, you got some nerve

Sorry, sorry

He's just not used to it

How about a little slack

We'll straighten this right up

Make it quick. That's messed up

Hurry up! It stinks!

Got it all over my

pants, you degenerate...

Sorry, Uncle Dat

Got you all caught up in this

Forget it

When everyone's a tough

guy, you just suck it up

What, are you going

to throw up again?

Then pull one out

I mean smoke one

The guards know it's a lousy job

They'll let it go

I don't have any

Here's two. Call it a loan

Thanks, Uncle Dat

One good deed today

Returns in spades tomorrow

It's fine

I'm not worried about

the cigarettes

Keep it safe

It's gonna go quick

Way more appropriate, here

Hey, you have any smokes?

Let's Happy-share

Happy-what?

Share

We share one

Oh...English

Hang on

How does this one count?

Let's not make this awkward

Here, you and I each grab an end

Guess which side is longer

Get it right, it's on me

Yours is longer

Here's the middle

Bad guess. It's on you

Now we share

Roach always had a

new way to gamble

for smokes and he'd

win every single time

I knew he was cheating

but in this whacked-out world

what choice have I got?

You know what?

If you can dig up

three packs of smokes

I can get someone to

sub you for a day

You screwing with me?

I only earn one pack

even if I did a

month of pastries

So you're telling me to

do three months there

in return for one day off?

B-b-but you can get someone

to write-in for you

What?

Meaning someone

buys them for you

On family visit day

You can ask your

relatives make a deposit

into this account

What's the rate?

Two grand, five packs

Then that's...4()O per pack?

That's how it is in here

How fast will I get it

Soon, once the money's there

Another shakedown

What's that mean?

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