In a World... Page #7

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Yeah. I know. You know

I like that. Like Dad.

That's literally why I was

always into PJ Koopchick.

What are these?

Oh, they're just

cherries from a can.

From Canter's.

No, I made it.

Just kidding. It's as Jewish

as you can get in her family.

That's a good one.

Listen, I wanted to

show you something.

I came across this article

I wrote decades ago.

I think it's worth a read. Have a

look at it. It's all about goals.

I wish I could write. Your

father's book was so...

I'll give it to you after.

I'm no Philip Roth, but I try.

Dani was always a

really good writer.

You don't have to do that.

It must run in the family.

My aunt Peggy writes a column

for health journal in Ohio.

But she's not really related to me,

'cause it's my mom's brother's wife.

You kids with your phones.

That is what I'm talking about.

Oh, look at these. They're

almost too pretty to eat.

So, how's the Moe situation?

Listen. We're all family here.

I think we can look to

each other for strength.

Oh, my God!

Jamie, I think, could be real

helpful in this situation.

I actually have to run to the

little girls' room. Excuse me.

"How's the Moe situation?"

Listen, Dani. Let me

tell you something.

I don't think you

did anything wrong.

Oh, okay. Thanks, Dad.

No, I mean it. Moe's

gonna get over this.

Okay. I'm sure.

You know, people make mistakes

in life. I know I have.

Marriage is all about forgiveness.

Your mother understood that.

Yeah! Mom totally

understood that.

She understood it completely.

I mean, she did OD on the prescription

meds that she had to take

to deal with the anxiety

that you caused her.

In the first place, let

me explain something.

I don't want to

split hairs, Dad.

Your mother had a deep

affection for Sudafed,

which accidentally interfered

with her love affair with Valium.

It was Xanax. It was

definitely Xanax.

Don't start!

She was going out with

Howard Wetson when she died!

At least Howard Wetson knows

I don't like bell peppers!

For Christ's sake, it was 16 years

ago. Would you let it pass?

Jesus Christ. The moment I find

one little iota of happiness

the two of you have to start

blaming your mother's death on me.

- No one's blaming you, okay?

- Don't be so crass.

You're blaming yourself!

So Mom died. Do we

need to rehash that?

I feel like we

really got into...

Here, Jamie, try some of these.

They're very good.

I don't want to eat

them all myself.

I already had one, but,

yeah, they're pretty good.

So, I have news.

What news? You're not

pregnant, are you?

All we need.

Oh, I'm just kidding.

No, I've been working.

- The vocal coaching, right?

- Terrific, yeah.

No, no. I just booked

these two voice over...

Like, movie trailer

voice over gigs.

And I wanted to share that with

you because it all started

because I swiped this really

big job from Gustav Warner,

who I finally met at the party

you guys brought me to.

And now I'm going to be the voice

of this new epic quadrilogy.

And I get to be the first woman to

utter the words "In a world..."

Sam!

- Are you okay?

- Dad, have some water.

Excuse me. Wait a second.

That's you? You're the thief?

The what?

"The thief," it sounds

like a crime novel.

You're dating Gustav Warner?

Wait. How do you

know about that?

It's more like f***ing probably

than I would say dating.

Jesus Christ! Why don't you

tell me any of this stuff?

You don't ask about the stuff.

You don't ever ask

about us or anything.

Sam, a daughter should not have to

share her sex life with her father.

Yes, thank you, Jamie.

I appreciate it.

Listen, sweetheart, let me

explain something to you, okay?

This is a business.

An industry you've seen from arm's

length for your entire life.

And there's a reason for that.

You don't just put one promo,

one trailer on your rsum

and expect to get a

gigantic job like that.

I've booked, actually, three movie trailer

gigs and then now this quadrilogy.

You have to understand

something, sweetheart.

They would never

try and resurrect

something this important, this

iconic with a freshman vocal.

It's not done.

Well, I think I could go for

some of that nice green tea.

Could we have some of that?

I don't drink

caffeine, remember?

Yes. Clearly, I forgot

about that, Jamie.

Carol?

- Can we go, please?

- Carol! Don't. Wait.

- Do you want me to start it?

- Carol! Wait.

- Do I have the keys?

- Carol, would you wait?

I'm in my heels. I've

been working all day.

- I can't even walk.

- I'm sorry.

I don't believe him. I think he's

lying about the whole quadrilogy.

It's fine. He's a legend. It makes

sense they would give him the line.

I call bullshit.

I call bullshit.

Because that man cannot let anybody

in this whole goddamn family shine

because Nana was a c*nt to him

when he was a little kid.

Nana was a survivor. You

should be easy on Nana.

Yeah, right. You know what?

You gotta believe me.

You cannot expect that man to

ever be supportive of you.

He is totally incapable of that.

I think the studio is going

to be very pleased to learn

that I've been reconsidering and

now I'm very much interested

in doing the quadrilogy gig.

For what? The Amazon Games?

Exactly.

Sam, it's too late.

What do you mean, "Too late"?

How am I supposed to

tell them to recast it?

Because I'm Sam goddamn Sotto.

That's why.

The studio wants Carol.

I suppose you can put yourself

on tape. Give it a shot.

Very well then. So be it.

Okay.

In that case, I will put myself

on tape with everybody else.

And I will conquer.

Alla! Before you leave make me one

more of those soy white Russians.

I'm sorry, Siegel.

What were you saying?

You're not gonna believe this,

but Sotto, he's back in.

To what? Amazon Games?

Your girlfriend's not the

only one to beat out now.

The legend himself?

Are you kidding me?

I thought you guys were pals?

Yeah, so did I.

You're not gonna be able to screw yourself

out of a voice over battle with Sotto.

"Better than a bubble."

How am I gonna play this?

Hey.

Your voice sounds bad.

Are you sick?

Oh, no. I just woke up

'cause I was up talking

to my sister till late.

Right, where are you now?

I'm at my sister's

place in Koreatown.

Yeah, Koreatown. That's funny

because I'm right in your neighborhood.

I'm pretty much right near you right now.

Hey! Why don't we get a snack?

Let's get a snack.

All right.

But I'm gonna need a

second to spiff up.

Totally. You know what? You

take a couple of minutes.

You know, I'll just text you where

I am and just meet me downstairs

and then we'll figure it out.

I'm sorry.

I'm good. That's cool.

I got you a hot

water with lemon.

Gargle that.

Oh, I'm good on the gargle.

- Sure. Whatever.

- Thank you.

You want to take a walk?

Sure.

Okay, here's the deal. My life consists

mainly of work, family, fantasy baseball.

You do that? I didn't

know you did that.

- Yeah, Rotisserie League with

my friends. - Oh, right on.

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