In Memoria Di Me (In Memory of Myself)

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I need to have an ideal,

a reason to live for.

I don't want to keep chasing after

the same freedom that everyone wants.

It's false.

It's false freedom.

What kind of life

have you led up to now?

I have lived without depriving myself

of anything.

I have loved.

And yet it seemed

I wasn't getting anywhere,

that I had nothing more to give.

And my heart suffered.

But I buried it inside me

without asking questions.

Anyway, for everyone else,

I was a winner.

I started losing sleep

because I was afraid

to look around and find

nothing there.

I don't know why

I started going to Mass

and reading the Gospel.

It's hard to explain, but...

a new way of being

occurred to me.

What do you want to become?

A person.

IN MEMORY OF MYSELF

Come in.

Please be seated.

Congratulations, you have passed

a brief, but difficult test

of isolation over the last few days.

Tomorrow, you will encounter

your personal silence...

Silence which sharpens discernment,

which will judge a vocation.

If there is one.

As you know, this is a period

dedicated to spiritual training.

It is a question of turning

perspectives around,

of changing the way you have looked

at the world up to now.

To obtain this new perspective,

we must envelop ourselves

in silence and prayer.

We are not accustomed

to listening to the silence

which speaks deep within us.

Where God dwells.

The rules of the house

serve this purpose.

You will learn this.

Some of them

will perhaps surprise you.

They will challenge

your way of thinking.

Your brothers

will be looking out for you

as you should look out for them.

Indicating the shortcomings

of a brother to the Father Superior

is an act of charity.

It is like self-denunciation,

like confessing your own sins,

the dark side of yourself

which needs

to be brought to the light.

Finally, do not forget that

while you are here to test the Order,

the Order will be testing you.

After you.

I would like to introduce

our new brother, Andrea.

Come.

This is the community

which is hosting you:

The retired Fathers,

the Father Superiors

and your new companions.

With time,

you will meet them all.

- Please be seated.

- Thank you.

We thank you, Father, for the food

that you have granted us.

In the name of the Father,

the Son and the Holy Spirit.

And these are our quarters.

Follow me.

You live here.

Have you met Fausto?

It's basic,

but you'll find everything you need.

The Father Master asked me

to help you with our daily schedule

at the start.

Anyway, it's the same everyday,

barring exceptions.

- Welcome.

- Thank you.

I am sorry.

Hold this. You can fill up the bucket

in the lavatory.

You can start

with this part of the corridor.

Then remember to put it back in here.

When the bell rings, we start the

meditations the Father Master gave us.

Yes, yes, thank you.

- He already gave them to me.

- Good. See you later.

Leave it.

Come in.

"If anyone wants to be my follower,

let him renounce himself,

take up his cross and follow me."

Man's secret yet constant thought

is to save himself

to ensure a material existence

which he is destined to lose.

This desperate, useless quest

makes him self-centred.

Causes him

to destroy himself and others.

True life, however, is loving Him

who loved us first.

This is true life

which will never die.

It's your turn, Fausto.

Mark 8, 31-35.

In reference to

De Rienzo's 34.

"If anyone wants to be my follower,

let him renounce himself,

take up his cross and follow me."

Well...

This passage...

explains what it means

to become a disciple of Jesus.

The key phrase is as follows:

"Anyone who wants to save his life,

will lose it,

but anyone who loses his life

for my sake and for the Gospel,

will save it".

Well,

the point is...

what is meant by life?

The...

term in the Greek text,

psyche,

corresponds to the Hebrew term

nephesh...

Let me start again.

The Greek term psyche, life,

corresponds to the Hebrew term

nephesh, breath of life.

Therefore,

life is...

breath.

But also...

Personality,

responsibility.

I'm sorry.

Well,

at the end of the day,

as usual,

we have come before the Lord

to go over it with Him.

Let's attempt to go over the events

which marked the day,

the encounters we've had.

We think back with gratitude

on the gifts we've received.

We think back also on the moments

when we forgot the Lord,

when we were concentrating only

on ourselves.

Fausto...

"It is great not to be subject

to a passion for things,

but it is far greater to remain

impassive before their image."

Maximus the Confessor is telling us

all that inflicts pain are images,

and therefore unreal.

When for example we go through states

of anxiety and then it finally passes,

we say that it was nothing,

nothing caused our anxiety.

It was only the appearance,

not the reality of things.

Therefore I tell you that

even if you are suffering,

learn not to let it show.

Train yourselves to remain impassive,

to conceal your torments.

You will see that it will become

an internal habit.

One day, in the desert of Egypt,

a young man went to a monk

to ask if

he could become his disciple.

The monk said that his first task

would be to go up to some statues

and insult them.

And then go back to them

to ask their forgiveness.

The young man went but when

he came back to the monk he said:

"I have done what you told me,

but the statues remained impassive".

And the monk answered: "Come back

when you're like those statues".

Our aim is to become indifferent

to everything.

We must not desire

wealth over poverty,

health over illness,

success rather than scorn,

or a long life

rather than a short one.

Those of us here,

strive only for what fulfils the aim

for which we were created.

To resemble God.

We thank you, Lord, for the food...

Lord...

recognizing our own sins is greater

than bringing a dead man to life.

He who weeps for an hour for himself

is greater than he

who instructs the whole world.

He who recognizes his own weaknesses

is greater than he who sees an angel.

He who follows Christ in secret

is greater than he

who enjoys much fame in church.

Nobody can recognize his own sins

without at the same time knowing God.

Not before, nor after.

At the very same instant.

The same identical intuition

of grace.

We thank you, Lord,

for the food that

you granted us again today

and that we ate in your presence.

In the name of the Father,

the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Soul of Christ, sanctify me,

Body of Christ, save me.

Blood of Christ, inebriate me, water

from the Rib of Christ, cleanse me.

Passion of Christ, comfort me.

Good Lord, hear me

hide me in your wounds.

Do not let me stray from You.

Defend me from my evil enemy

and call me on my hour of death.

Let me come to You to praise You and

all the Saints forever and ever.

Soul of Christ, sanctify me,

Body of Christ, save me.

Blood of Christ...

Defend me from my evil enemy

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