In Society Page #5

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bed in half? What's the matter?

They're twin beds. Will you keep

quiet. Do we look like twins?

You have a very rigorous

schedule here.

You bath at 10:
00,

brunch at 11:
00, tea at 2:00.

I always have a very, very

"ridgerous" schedule. I always do.

I washbasin at 8:00. And then I doughnut

at 9:
00. I pinball machine at 10:00.

I hamburger and onions at 11:00

and then I bicarbonate of soda at 12:00.

That settles everything.

It sure does.

Pay no attention to my friend here.

He's very eccentric, but very wealthy.

If you'll pardon me, gentlemen,

I'll be back in a moment. Yeah, sure.

Say.

What's the matter?

The Winthrop's, they're

very fine people. Why?

Look at all the nice clothes

they're lending us.

Well, let 'em think

that we're used to it, you know.

Don't act surprised.

And remember your etiquette.

Etiquette?

Etiquette.

You tryin' to tell me? You

can't learn me nothin' like that.

You don't even know how

to say the word. Etiquette?

No, "ah-tick-it-tee. "

Etiquette!

Ah-tick-it-tee!

I said, etiquette!

You don't have to tell me

about all that stuff...

because my mother told me

the right road from the wrong road.

If my mother thought I was gonna do

something wrong, she would always tell me.

Because I had the right kind

of bringing up.

Gentlemen, your bath is drawn. Erase it.

What?

Rub it out!

Shh, not so loud.

My friend is very humorous too.

You've got to take a bath!

Quiet. Not so loud!

Right?

Quite.

Right.

Sir, if I may start

undressing you now.

You're gonna undress me?

Yes, sir.

The last person that ever

undressed me was my mother,

and that was a year ago.

Ayear ago?

You gotta start to learn

to undress yourself...

sometime or other by yourself,

don't you?

Right.

Quite.

Right.

Oh.

If you'll allow me, I'll take

your coat. Thank you. Shall I?

Give the man your coat.

Okay. Okay.

No arguments needed.

Your tie, sir.

Handle this stuff very nicely.

Your tie, sir.

Don't fight. Take it easy.

Give the man...

Please, please, please!

Don't fight me.

I'm not fighting, sir.

Give the man your tie!

Take it off!

All right, I'll give the

guy... All right... Shh!

Put 'em down!

Shh, quiet!

Will you tell him to put his

hands down? Let me have your tie.

All right!

Put your hands down!

You don't have to fight

about it. Here.

Thank you.

There's nothing to it.

Thank you very much.

Now your shirt, sir.

My shirt?

Yes.

I don't get it...

Take it off!

I know how to undress myself. Nobody has

to tell me. Show the man you can do it.

I mean, I know...

I know how to do this.

I'm sure you do.

Oh, take it off!

All right, all right.

Take yours off too.

Your pants, sir.

Think they'll fit you?

Take the pants off! Okay. All

right. I mean, after all...

Put your leg up,

sir, will you?

No, no. Please, sir.

Just a minute. Just a minute.

Just a minute.

All right, all right.

Take it easy.

There you are.

Get up on your feet. Get up.

Okay. Now...

I think you're ready now, sir.

My "bawth" is ready?

Yes, sir.

Um, I will go.

And I think I will return in a jiffy.

I dare say, a "fortnit. "

Toodle-loo.

Oh, yes.

Mrs. Winthrop.

Yes?

Something terrible has

happened. What's the matter?

Our luggage has disappeared.

Vanished into the thin air.

I think it was misappropriated

by one of your servants.

Impossible! I trust them all implicitly.

Why, they've been with me for years.

It couldn't be one of the

guests. No, out of the question.

That's absurd. I'm sure your luggage

was just misplaced. I'll speak to Pipps.

Perhaps he can find some clothes

for you for the time being.

Baron! Look!

Look at that person. He's

wearing a blazer just like mine.

Who in the world is he?

How do you do?

How do you do?

A "ridgerous" schedule, isn't it?

Quite.

Quite.

Allow me to present Baron

Sergei. How do you do?

No, not me.

There. Baron Sergei.

And Count Alexis.

I don't believe

I got your name.

Oh, of course not. If you had

my name, you would be my sister.

Good-bye. Good-bye.

When I see Mrs. Winthrop, I will tell

her about you. But I'm Mrs. Winthrop.

All right. When you see her, you tell

her about me. Thank you. Toodle-loo.

Remarkable.

I wanna go to sleep

I wanna go to sleep

And dream

That dream I had last night

Well, what do you know He smiled

at me in my dreams last night

My dreams are gettin' better

all the time

And what do you know

He looked at me in a different light

My dreams are gettin' better

all the time

To think that we were strangers

A couple of nights ago

And though it's a dream

I never dreamed he'd ever say hello

Well, maybe tonight

he'll hold me tight

When the moonbeams shine

My dreams are gettin' better

all the time

Music's playin'

while we're swayin'

To a lovely strain

Lights are low

And now I know

Soon we'll meet again

Well, what do you know He smiled

at me in my dreams last night

My dreams are gettin' better

all the time

And what do you know

He looked at me in a different light

My dreams are gettin' better

all the time

To think that we were strangers

A couple of nights ago

And though it's a dream

I never dreamed he'd ever say hello

Well, maybe tonight

he'll hold me tight

When the moonbeams shine

My dreams are gettin' better

better all the time

Better and better and better

all the time

I wanna go to sleep

I wanna sleep

And dream

There you are, Albert.

You know, you look swell.

What do ya think?

Too much tie.

No, no, no, no. That's swell.

Now let's go downstairs.

And be careful how you act at all

times. Never mind! Put that down!

Albert! Eddie!

Hello, Elsie.

What are you doing here?

We were invited. We got an

invitation. We're society plumbers.

How did you get here?

It's all such a crazy thing.

I met Peter Evans

at the Van Cleve party.

He thought I was one of the guests

and offered to drive me out here.

But you're not one of the guests.

You must have told him a big fib.

I told him I was Elsie Hammerdingle,

but he wouldn't believe me.

And I let him go on thinking

that I belonged with these people.

But why?

Because I wanted to come here.

I wanted this weekend

to remember.

I know how you feel, Elsie.

I felt the same way when

you and I went on those picnics.

I know as soon as they find out

who I am, they'll throw me out,

but in the meantime, I have this one memory

to dream about for the rest of my life.

You love Peter Evans,

don't you?

He's spoiled me for every man

I'll ever meet after this.

He's wonderful, ain't he?

I guess you thought you were gonna

get stuck with a little fat plumber.

Oh, come, come, come. Look, Elsie,

we'll do everything to help you out.

Yes. I'm gonna try hard, Elsie.

We'll make these people think...

we were the best brought-up

society people they ever saw.

I'll put on the dog

just for you, Elsie.

That a boy. It's breaking my heart,

but I'm gonna do it for Elsie.

That's swell.

Thanks, Albert.

You're the second-nicest boy

I know.

Hmm.

Oh.

What's the matter?

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