In Society Page #4

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Why did you have to remind me

of Bagel Street?

My husband was killed

on Bagel Street! You hear?

My husband was killed

on Bagel Street!

I don't understand this. I wanna go

to the Susquehanna Hat Company and...

Susquehanna Hat Company?

Is that a Susquehanna hat?

That's the same kind of hat my

husband was wearing when he was killed.

He wouldn't have lost his life if

he'd have been wearing a good hat...

when that safe fell out

that 15-story building!

But no! He was wearing a hat like this one!

That's the cheapest grade

of straw I ever saw!

Oh! My husband's dead!

He's dead.! He's dead.!

He ain't dead, lady. He's hiding!

Now, listen! Just a minute.

That's two hats you've broken.

You know how much you owe Derby Dan?

How much I owe Derby Dan now?

Fifteen dollars.

Fifteen dollars.

And stop insulting women.

All I asked her is

where was Bagel Street?

Bagel Street!

Bagel Street! Don't ever mention

that name! It drives me crazy!

Bagel Street! Oh!

Wait a minute. Hold that

still! Give him back the hats!

Take that box! Go down there and

find out where Bagel Street is.

Hey, Eddie, how much do

I owe Dan now? $22.50!

I'm gonna try just one more. Be

careful with that one, will you, please?

Wait, I've got an idea.

I'm gonna run back to our shop...

and get some of those

little business cards of ours.

We can give them away to those

society people up in Briarwood.

Very good business idea. But find

out where Bagel Street is, please!

Okay, I'll ask anybody.

I don't care.

Excuse me, mister. Could you please

tell me where Bagel Street is?

Bagel Street? Don't ask

me where Bagel Street is.

A terrible thing happened to me

on Bagel Street.

I was walking along,

minding my own business.

A safe fell from a 15-story

building on my head...

and killed me!

A safe fell 15 floors, fell on

your head and killed ya? Yes.

Then as long as you're dead, there's no use

asking you where the Susquehanna Hat Company is.

Susquehanna hat! That's the hat I

was wearing the day I was killed!

And you ask me about... That's

the kind of hat I was wearing!

Oh, no! Eddie!

And you asked me!

You're asking me about...

I'm so sorry.

I... I think I've

broken your hat.

You think you've broken it?

Yeah.

This is the fourth Susquehanna

hat... Susquehanna hat...

Hey! What's the matter here?

What are you doing to my place?

Hey, police! Help! Help!

What's going on here? This big fellow

is trying to kick the little fellow.

My friend!

A tough guy? Come on!

You can't take me to jail.

Oh, no?

I'm dead. You can't take me to jail!

Oh, yes, we can. Come on, my boy.

He's crazy!

He's crazy.

What can I do for you, Albert?

Luigi, how can I get

to the Susquehanna Hat Company?

Susquehanna! Susquehanna!

Luigi, what's the matter?

Susquehanna!

Luigi! Luigi!

Luigi! Luigi! No!

Luigi.! No.! Luigi.! Luigi.!

Luigi! What are you doin'?

- Luigi!

- Susquehanna! Oh! Oh. Oh.

Beautiful out here, isn't it?

Wonderful.

It would be heavenly if I could

only get used to you driving.

Oh, I get it.

In the taxi business, you drive.

What is all this mystery about

you? It's no mystery to me.

Here we go again. You're Elsie

Hammerdingle, queen of the cabbies.

Yet I met you at the Van Cleve

costume ball. It doesn't make sense.

Peter, how about

letting it go at that?

Just for this weekend.

That's all right with me.

Oh, you men are all alike, Eddie. Oh!

I clean and slave here eight hours a

day and you guys bring in all the dust.

Oh, you men!

Shush. Shush.

My goodness, I never seen anything

like this. Take it easy now.

Eddie, this is the nicest thing

you did for me today.

What's that? When you

saved these hats for me.

Ah, sure. Sure. I think

there's only one left in there.

Hey, Eddie.

Nice job.

I think I'll just try just one

more on. You can try one more.

But what excuse are we going to

give to the Susquehanna Hat Shop?

Susquehanna!

Take it easy!

This is a fine time to lay down!

I wasn't laying down!

Clean the place up.

Clean the place up!

Sit down, Eddie. Rest.

Sit down. Rest. Take it easy.

Susquehanna!

I mean, I...

Get it! Get it! Get it!

I got it! I got it!

Come on.

Get out of there.

Get out. Get out. Down this way. Hey!

Stop it!

Oh, no!

How are you, Pipps? Fine.

Thank you, sir. And you?

Fine.

Peter, I'm delighted.

The weekend wouldn't have been the same

without you. Now, run right to the pool.

Gloria is putting together a musical

number for the lawn party this afternoon.

That's fine. We'll go right over.

"We"?

You know Elsie.

How do you do, my dear?

I don't believe we've ever met.

Of course you met Elsie,

at the Van Cleve costume ball.

Oh, one of their horsey set. Well, any

friend of Peter's is welcome to Briarwood.

Will you be quite comfortable? Oh, yes,

your butler showed me to a lovely guest room.

How charming. I do hope you'll

enjoy your weekend. Thank you.

Come on.

Let's find Gloria.

Rehearsin', rehearsin'

Those sweet "I love you" phrases

Rehearsin', rehearsin'

On how to sing his praises

Diggin' up new adjectives

That ought to fill the bill

Learnin' little "magictives"

To give his heart a thrill

Rehearsin', rehearsin'

To make my kisses balance

Reviewin', reviewin'

My most romantic talent

I've even learned gin rummy

But I wish I knew the score

'Cause he's the one in person

I'm rehearsin' for

Rehearsin', rehearsin'

Been practicin'my crooning

Rehearsin', rehearsin'

The act of perfect swoonin'

Gettin' set for golden tans

and Sundays at the beach

I'm even brushin'up

on my holdin'hands

To keep you in my reach

Rehearsin', rehearsin'

To make my kisses balance

Renewin', reviewin'

My most romantic talents

I hope my technique pleases

He won't think that I'm a bore

'Cause he's the one in person

I'm rehearsin'for

Peter!

Hello, Gloria.!

Now the weekend is a success.

Thanks for those kind words.

Elsie and I drove up together.

Elsie?

You know Miss... Oh, of course.

You sang at the Van Cleve ball.

That's right.

You wore a cab driver's outfit.

It's certainly a relief

to get out of that uniform.

I can't get over this place.

It's so beautiful.

I'm sure your estate

is just as large.

No, we live over the grocery

store. Am I hearing things?

Hallucinations. She thinks she's a lady

taxicab driver named Elsie Hammerdingle.

Not even a hyphen between

the Hammer and the dingle.

What, no hyphen?

That's just too, too whimsical.

But, if you care for that kind of humor, from

now on I'll be Gussey Pumpernickel, lady janitor.

This way, gentlemen. Uh, are you quite

sure you've come to the right place?

Oh, yes. We have

an invitation, mister.

Oh, you needn't call me mister.

I'm the butler.

Okay, Mr. Butler. Here's the invitation.

She give it to us right there.

Yes.

Thank you.

Here's your room, gentlemen.

I hope you like it.

Like it? Who in the world

wouldn't like this room?

You mean this one room

for the two of us?

And another thing, who cut this

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