In the Crosswind Page #2

I ran to it but you weren't there.

And then suddenly

it was already summer.

And I still ran and called out

but only the wind blew

and the leaves rustled.

You weren't anywhere.

I was spent and started crying.

Your saw was on the ground.

I wanted to pick it up

but then you suddenly jumped out

from behind a tree

and laughed, pushing me down.

And I shouted

that you can't do that ever again,

you can't disappear.

But you just laughed.

And I told you to let go.

But inside I didn't want you to.

You started kissing me

and you kissed all my tears away

and I asked if they were salty,

but you said they're sweet instead.

Like drops of apple juice.

Your head lay on my breast

and I promised myself

that I'd never let you go

so that you wouldn't disappear again.

But you untied my dress and...

And then the apples were already ripe.

We were lying on the ground

with ripe apples all around.

Suddenly a branch full of apples

snapped under its weight.

And I said to you, see,

the trees weren't pruned because of you.

Why did you have to disappear?

You asked me not to be cross,

sighed and smiled.

Heldur, I think I've never even told you

that you have a beautiful smile.

But then you didn't say anything

anymore.

And when I looked in your direction

again,

you weren't there anymore.

It was autumn instead.

Damp and dark.

I stood under the apple tree alone.

Under our wild apple tree

that grows in the middle of our field.

I woke up

and shivered.

Heldur, I promise

that whatever the future brings,

I won't ever be cross with you.

Where are you, Heldur?

Come already, let's go home...

Dear Heldur,

the years after the end of the war

haven't brought the changes

we hoped for.

Even though deep down

everyone is still homesick,

we now live more in the present

of the days given to us.

We've learned to get along even with

those we don't want to associate with.

I have tried to walk the line, too.

Relations and connections count.

Even more than the little money.

Most of the women

are looking for the security

of being under the protective wing

of the chairman of the kolkhoz.

You can't fault them for that.

I've fulfilled all my work quotas,

even more than what's required.

I manage pretty well.

They lined up the best workers

in the rajon's wall newspaper.

They left my name out.

Apparently it's not customary to print

enemies of the people on paper.

Our brigade leader got so mad,

swore to set things right

at rajon headquarters.

He came back

with his tail between his legs.

Still he praised me for my work

and promised to keep me in mind

when they hand out bonuses.

I can use that little something, too.

I've been waiting for months already

for an answer

to my request for information

about you.

We hear that as long as Stalin is

in power, we won't get away from here.

But I promise that...

when I get permission, I'll find you.

I think about you constantly.

Maybe...

you've been released

and you're somewhere...

in the expanses of Siberia and...

Many Estonians here

have started new families.

I don't wish to do that.

I'm thinking about...

our little Eliide.

Those days haunt me.

The days before they took us away.

Those last days in our homeland.

I'm haunted by that decision that I made

on behalf of the rest of our family.

It seems that the years have taken

everything else with them...

I still think of those letters

we sent to our relatives.

I'm looking

at our free wild apple tree now.

The hay around it is chest-high.

Its branches no longer

look towards the sky.

Instead they droop towards the ground.

Does it long to enter the soil

where its roots are hidden

or does it still hope

to burst into bloom?

If people look like their choices

then tell me, Heldur,

who do I look like,

that I took the two of you the chance

to see those blossoms once again?

Who do I look like

that I thought it was right

not to flee across the sea.

The courage to believe

that we wouldn't be taken away...

The courage to stay home.

The loveliest years of my life

passed as if standing still.

Regretting that we didn't flee

when we had the chance,

holding all our lives to ransom.

Heldur,

we finally got a few days off

at the beginning of March.

We fulfilled our work quotas

ahead of time to earn it.

Hermiine now belongs

to the chairman of the kolkhoz,

they got married.

He proposed to many of us,

me, too.

Finally, Hermiine agreed.

We got to hear music and laughter

for the first time in ages.

There are others besides Hermiine

and the chairman

who have found each other.

It's easier together.

People need one another.

Regardless of the times we live in.

Fortune has smiled on me as well.

I was able to ask

for a month's wages in advance

since I had exceeded my work quota,

and they gave it to me.

And I bought myself a cow.

Heldur, now I have my own

milk and butter on the table.

I even have enough to sell some.

You're probably thinking

how can I manage with a cow.

But I've learned to do

all kinds of jobs here.

My heart is filled with joy

that I don't have to ask around

the village for milk anymore.

Everyone came to see the cow

when she was brought to my yard.

The men from our brigade helped

to bring her over.

How she studied me

with her big eyes...

She surely didn't understand my joy.

Hermiine got the chairman,

I got a cow.

At the wedding reception,

the Estonian women joked

that mine is more purebred.

And they predicted that

our life together will be easier...

With a great sorrow

we announce to the Party

and all the working people

of the Soviet Union,

that on 5. March at 9.50 pm,

following a serious illness,

the chairman of the Council

of Ministers of the USSR,

and the secretary of the Central

Committee of the Communist Party,

Josif Vissarionovich Stalin,

has passed away.

We will not forget him.

He will remain in our hearts forever

as a token of our gratitude

for that eternal bliss

that we, the Soviet people,

have had the good fortune

to experience first

in the history of mankind.

All the people of the world

are jealous of us for that.

We swear to bear

with honour and forever

the standards of Lenin and Stalin

and to save the peoples

of the rest of the world

so that they could enjoy

the same good fortune

that we enjoy here.

And the whole world

will become one big family.

These years after Stalin's death

have brought us changes

that we longed for.

The chairman of our kolkhoz

was sent to the far north

as punishment.

Since he married

an enemy of the people.

And also because

he used Stalin's plaster bust

as a hat stand.

Word in the village was that they'd been

looking for an excuse for a long time.

Hermiine was sent to a labour camp...

I really don't understand

what kind of country this is.

This autumn they've started sending us

back to our homeland little by little.

They're gradually

issuing passports as well.

Since I was in the good books

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes