In The Land Of Women

Let's be honest with ourselves.

I think we always knew

this wasn't gonna work out.

Carter...

...I care about you.

Very much.

In a way, I do love you

and I don't wanna hurt you.

Carter, you have to say something.

We haven't stopped talking

since the day we met.

Excuse me. Are you...?

You are. You're Sofia Bunuel.

Oh, my God.

We're, like, your biggest fans ever.

I've seen Sprawl, like, a million,

zillion times. I own the DVD.

That's really sweet. Thank you.

- Can I get your autograph?

- Well, yeah, sure.

Just write, "To Todd.

You're a pathetic f*ggot

and I would never get with you."

Okay. Yeah.

Thank you.

Listen...

...I hear what you're saying.

But you've gotta hear me.

All I know is that I need space.

I don't know what's gonna happen.

Maybe, eventually, who knows?

Nobody knows.

But right now,

I need you to give me that space.

Fine. I wanna do that. I wanna give you

all the space you need.

I just--

I don't want you to break up with me.

- I have to go now.

- Please, will you just--?

Will you not leave me here like this?

Will you stay and talk a little bit?

I can't.

Goodbye.

You have one unheard message.

The following message

has not been heard.

It's Avi.

I read your script last night.

You know, this is supposed to be

premium soft-core erotic- -

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I just came to get some... .

And I wanted some... .

Are you--? Are you crying?

Oh, a little.

I was just talking to my mom.

I think she's got big, big problems.

She hasn't exactly been

firing on all cylinders.

No, she's convinced she's dying.

- Is she sick?

- I don't think so.

The doctor can't find

anything wrong with her.

But hearing her sound

so scared and helpless, I just--

I felt so sorry for her.

Anyway, I'm gonna fly out there

in the next few days and deal with it.

I should go there.

- I'll go to Michigan. I'll stay with Grandma.

- What about your job?

I write soft-core porn.

I can do that from Michigan.

Doesn't really require tremendous effort.

Besides, it'll give me an opportunity to write

that thing that I've been wanting to write.

About Genghis Khan?

- No, that other thing.

- About your high school?

Don't say it like that,

because it sounds moronic.

You've been saying you were gonna

since you were 15.

The only way I'm actually gonna do it...

...is if I just get out of L.A.,

get away from my life.

Wonder how Sofia's

gonna feel about that?

I think she'll be thrilled.

She just broke up with me.

Sofia dumped me.

Are you kidding me? When?

Hour and a half ago. Been in traffic.

- Maybe it's just a--

- No.

It's over. She's gone.

Oh, sh*t. Sh*t.

- Would you please hold it together?

- Unbelievable.

I just can't handle you acting

like this is the end of the world.

I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry.

It's just she's so beautiful.

She's so funny and great, yeah.

Oh, Carter, oh, God, I'm sorry.

Honey, how are you doing?

Are you all right?

No.

I know this is gonna sound

like something that a mom has to say...

...but it is true, you will be all right.

I mean, these things, you know,

take time.

Sometimes a really long time.

I mean, I'm still trying

to get over Rodney Portchnik...

...and that was 12th grade.

Don't tell me that Rodney Portchnik story,

please.

I'm just saying that you will be all right.

Women have always been drawn to you,

Carter, ever since you were a little boy.

And one day when you least expect it,

you're gonna meet a really great girl.

I don't wanna meet a really great girl.

I don't wanna meet anyone.

I just wanna be alone with my grandma...

...and her cat.

You're such a freak.

Are you going out tonight?

No. Maybe. Why?

It's Friday night.

You're going out with Gabe Foley,

aren't you?

Shut up.

I have to live through you.

I'm too young to have a life of my own.

Yeah, we're still not talking about this.

Whatever. Be that way.

Lucy? I'm in the kitchen.

How was your day?

Fine. What's up?

Nothing.

Well, something, actually.

It's not a big deal, though.

Then can it wait? Because there's

some stuff I gotta get done.

I went to go see Dr. Bennett today.

Why?

I found a nondescript kind of...

...lump in my breast.

- Oh, my God.

- We don't know anything yet.

It's very possible that it could be nothing.

And even if it is something...

...it still could--

It just could be nothing.

Mom... .

So your dad is going to take me

over to Ann Arbor on Tuesday morning...

...for some tests.

- I should come with you.

- No.

No. L-- I just want you to go to school.

Okay, we're not gonna treat this

like it's any kind of big deal until... .

Okay?

Yeah.

Lucy...

...everything's gonna be all right.

Really.

Hi, Grandma.

Whoa, Grandma. Grandma.

It's me, it's Carter. It's your grandson.

Agnes is my mother, also your daughter.

Hey.

I can't believe I'm still alive.

I can't believe I lived

to see your face again.

Thank you. I'm so glad too...

...although I probably

wouldn't have put it that way.

Do you think I can come inside?

- Through the door.

- Okay.

- Where's the cat?

- Dead.

- Can you cook?

- A little.

I haven't eaten anything in three weeks.

- Really?

- I had some pasta.

Okay.

When I'm dead...

...you want this house?

- I'm sure it's not that simple.

- It's my house.

I can give it to whomever I choose.

Well, then, thank you.

I guess we'll see.

I'm starving.

- Hello?

- Hey, I'm here.

Thank God. Carter, this is the worst idea

you have ever had in your life.

I know.

You've mentioned that several times.

- Okay, I'm coming.

- No, you're not.

Listen, let's just give it a try, okay?

I still think this could be

exactly what I need right now.

Just kind of regroup and get in--

Someone is calling for you.

- Hello?

- Carter? Is that you?

- Avi?

- I'm in the hills now.

- Damn it, my service sucks.

- How did you get this number?

I have my ways.

Your mother gave it to me.

Listen, we have an emergency.

We gotta talk now.

You gave him the number?

Now I have to do this. I'll call you later.

I'm walking on the set.

I've got a girl in this one, tush so hot

and tight you could fry an egg.

Beside the point. She has a problem.

She doesn't understand and neither do I...

... why her character would have sex

with the guy installing her DSL...

... since she's already having an affair

with her yoga instructor.

You said you wanted a scene...

...where she seduces the guy

who's installing her DSL line?

Yeah. I don't think I can sell her that.

Anything else?

How about this, man,

she really wants high-speed Internet?

We're being funny now?

Listen, the character, Monica,

is a sexual compulsive, okay?

Because of a traumatic childhood,

she's turned on by illicit sex.

It's the only way she can orgasm,

that's it.

That's just a phase. You get over it.

Grandma, would you

get off the phone, please?

Where the hell are you?

I'm out of town for a few days, okay?

I can't talk right now.

I'll get you the new script by Monday

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