In the Loop Page #7

BOB ADRIANO:

Excellent.

LINTON:

And the committee. We need to excise

the reference to the committee. Ah.

Here’s the mention. From you. You did

not mention it was your mention.

BOB ADRIANO:

No sir.

LINTON:

Shall we demention that?

BOB ADRIANO:

Yes sir.

31 INT. STATE DEPARTMENT - DAY 31

Liza is working at her desk, Karen in her office. Chad

comes to Liza’s desk, but keeps peering into Linton’s

office.

CHAD:

Have you got the transcript of

Caulderwood’s ‘transformational

diplomacy’ speech?

LIZA:

No, Linton hasn’t left to play squash

yet. He’s four minutes late, Rainman!

This must play hell with your

Aspergers.

CHAD:

Okay. Does that mean you don’t have

the transcript?

LIZA:

I do have the transcript.

(does some computer stuff)

There, I’ve sent it down to print on

the laser on floor three.

CHAD:

Why didn’t you print it here?

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LIZA:

We have a printer here? Silly me.

Sorry -- my bad, Chad.

Chad looks into Linton’s office. Linton has a squash

racket in his hand and is talking to Bob Adriano. He

looks about to leave.

LIZA (CONT’D)

You not getting your printout?

CHAD:

Sure, I’m getting my printout.

Chad, keeping an eye on Linton, heads for the door.

He’s almost there when Linton starts to leave.

Chad sprints like a lunatic back across the office to

his own desk, picks up a brand-new squash racket in a

brand-new bag, and sprints back to Liza’s desk. Starts

looking at something nonchalantly on the desk.

Linton passes on his way out with his squash stuff.

LINTON:

(re. Chad’s racket)

You play, Chad?

CHAD:

Sorry? Oh, yes sir, matter of fact I

do play.

LIZA:

Really? I never knew that.

LINTON:

How about a game? I like a younger

opponent, it makes me feel like I’m

wearing a hat made of endorphins.

CHAD:

Sure thing sir.

Linton and Chad walk out. Liza calls after Chad.

LIZA:

You’ve still got the price tag on your

squash bag, Chad.

Chad looks at his brand-new bag. The price tag is still

on. He gives Liza the finger. She gives it back.

32 INT. WASHINGTON AIRPORT - DAY 32

SIMON:

There will be a car won’t there?

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TOBY:

Oh God yeah, of course.

They walk slowly looking at the various cabbies and

chauffeurs holding signs.

SIMON:

Did you book a car?

He’s looking panicked - then.

TOBY:

Here we go.

There’s a guy with a sign that says ‘England Government

-Simon Forester’

SIMON:

‘Simon Forester?’

TOBY:

(to the taxi guy)

Hi we’re the Simon Foster party?

The driver takes their bags and they follow him.

SIMON:

It said Forester. What if there is a

Simon Forester?

TOBY:

It’s fine, it’s ours. I mean is there

a Simon Forester in the Government?

The England Government?

33 INT. LIMO - DAY 33

Simon and Toby are heading into Washington. Their car

is accompanied by two police motorcycles.

SIMON:

(re :
the limo)

I almost feel like there should be

hookers. Do you know what I mean?

Really, here, we should have hookers.

TOBY:

(thumbs up, on his mobile)

Hey Gav, I’m in a f***ing motorcade!

DRIVER:

You want girls?

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SIMON:

(terrified of things

getting out of hand)

What? Oh no. God no. No no no no no. I

was just - I was just joking. I don’t

want hookers. I hate hookers. I mean

not in an aggressive way. I’m just not

interested.

(uncomfy beat, then)

But thanks. Thanks very much.

34 EXT. WASHINGTON HOTEL - DAY 34

They get out of the limo, take in the hotel facade. Not

bad. Pretty f***ing good.

TOBY:

(pulling out his mobile)

I'm sending a photo of this to Gav and

those agricultural losers. Remind them

there’s more glamorous things than

trout farms and rabies.

35 INT. WASHINGTON HOTEL - DAY 35

They walk in. Oh. Right. Not so impressive then. Not

crappy. Just very bland and ordinary.

TOBY:

It's like a hangar for businessmen.

36 INT. WASHINGTON HOTEL ROOM 36

Simon and Toby enter hotel room, pay porter, admire

disappointing view from window.

37 INT. STATE DEPARTMENT. KAREN’S OFFICE - DAY 37

Karen, Liza and Linton are among those seated round the

table. Various staffers are standing, including Chad.

And Bob Adriano.

KAREN:

Which brings us on to Any Other

Business.

LINTON:

I actually have another appointment.

KAREN:

‘Appointment?’ You’re playing squash,

not having a CAT scan.

(MORE)

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KAREN (CONT'D)

But, I’ll keep it brief so you can go

play with the boy of your choice.

LINTON:

Don’t cheapen it Karen. It’s a noble

art.

I believe I've flagged everything I

needed to discuss. As I usually do.

KAREN:

(putting her hand over her

mouth, mocking Linton's

gesture from earlier)

Or everything you're prepared to

discuss. I understand you’ve started

up a new committee, what’s it called?

LINTON:

What makes you think that?

KAREN:

It was mentioned in our London

meeting.

LINTON:

You must be mistaken. I've read the

minutes and I’m afraid I’m not aware

of what you’re referring to.

KAREN:

I was there, it's in the minutes.

Liza shows Karen the minutes. Karen realises it’s not

there.

LINTON:

You obviously mis-heard.

KAREN:

I misheard the word ‘committee’?

LINTON:

Karen, I can't vouch for your hearing.

Maybe it was another word. Say...

Khomeini.

KAREN:

You’re sitting on a Khomeni?

LINTON:

There are lots of words. 'Kansas

City'? 'Kitty'?

BOB ADRIANO:

Itty?

LINTON:

'Itty' is not a word, Bob.

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CHAD:

‘Commissary’?

LINTON:

Very good, Chad.

KAREN:

Okay, why don’t you just recap for me

all the committees you’re on at the

moment?

LINTON:

Sorry, Karen, you appear to be

bleeding from your mouth.

She is. But she doesn’t want to leave the meeting.

LINTON (CONT'D)

I don't mean to be rude Karen but that

is a tad... repulsive.

Karen gets up to go. It’s awkward, she’s boxed in and

has to clamber over the others to get to the door.

LIZA:

Do you want me to come with you?

Liza follows Karen out. Chad takes Liza’s seat.

LINTON:

I don't like to see a woman bleeding

from the mouth.

CHAD:

No.

LINTON:

It makes me think of Country and

Western music. Which I really can't

abide.

CHAD:

(what?)

Yes! Ha ha! Exactly.

Linton sees his chance to take advantage of Karen being

out of the room.

LINTON:

Actually while we're on Any Other

Business I do have a few points I'd

like to resolve.

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38 INT. STATE DEPARTMENT - BATHROOM - DAY 38

Liza is pulling handfuls of tissue. Handing them to

Karen who is dabbing her teeth.

KAREN:

Where are at you at with the

committees?

LIZA:

I got it down to two. The Aims and

Policy Alignment Committee. Here - put

some down your front - you don't want

it to go down your... And the Future

Planning Committee.

KAREN:

Well, it’s not the first one. I set

that one up. Does that really sound

dull to you? I thought that was a good

name.

LIZA:

Right, no, it is a good name.

KAREN:

Okay, find out if it is definitely the

Future Planning Committee.

LIZA:

Okay. Okay. Right, listen, I might go

and do that. You’re not going to shout

at me if I go and do that are you?

KAREN:

I’m not a f***ing monster Liza, okay?

Will you stop implying I’m some kind

of monster. I’m just someone whose

assistant finds it difficult to multi-

task.

39 INT. STATE DEPARTMENT - DAY 39

Liza heads out of the toilets to see Bob Adriano ahead,

quite a long way.

Bob!

LIZA:

Bob Adriano stops and turns.

Liza.

BOB ADRIANO:

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