In Which We Serve Page #7

- Damned nice of you.

- Made any more filthy vapours?

- Shut up, Guns. I've had enough of that.

I thought it looked very attractive, all that

dense black smoke belching from the funnel.

- I'll thank you all to lay off it.

- Never mind, Chiefy.

Old Tremoyne went one better

at about ten o'clock.

- I thought she was on fire.

- Bring me some food, Mitchell.

Have your sparkers picked up any titbits

about the war?

Not since yesterday. Pretty bad show.

My young brother's in the BEF.

He wasn't far from GHQ in Arras.

- God knows where he is now.

- The whole thing's been a lash-up.

You all know what we've got to do,

don't you?

The whole British Expeditionary Force

is falling back on Dunkirk.

Now, in peacetime, as you know, there's

a lot of leg-pulling between the services.

But the soldiers are our brothers in arms

and it's up to us to get'em off

so they can live to fight again.

Let them see how much we admire

the way they fought. And don't forget,

the success of our evacuation is measured

by the smallness of the military casualties,

not the naval ones.

The soldiers are our guests,

and their lives will be in our hands.

(Dive bomber approaches)

(Explosion)

(Dive bomber roars overhead)

Gangway, please

Gangway. Here we are. Excuse me.

Mind your backs.

Here you are, cock.

Wet and warm. Don't examine it too closely.

Hold on, Joey. Hold on.

Here you are, mate.

Try dipping the biscuit in the cocoa.

You can't hurt the cocoa

and you can save your teeth.

The champagne will be along in a minute.

That'll be hot, too.

Come on, Joey, up this way.

Mind your backs, please.

A woman's work is never done.

Here you are, mate.

Coming up. Here you are.

Here, don't you want none?

Can't hold it, son. My hand's gone wonky.

Half a mo. Here, Joey,

give us a couple of them biscuits.

- Here, don't gulp it, now. You'll choke yourself.

- Thanks, son.

(Bomb whistles)

(Explosion)

(Gunfire)

Why did we never think of this for elevenses

in the mess? It's damned good.

It's just Bovril rather heavily laced with sherry.

(Explosion)

Port 20.

How's the old country looking now?

I feel as if I've been away for years.

We've been away quite a while, too.

We put in up north every now and again

to refuel.

The country's looking much the same as usual

the last time I saw it.

Gentle, you know. Not exactly smug,

but not exactly warlike, either.

There'll always be an England, eh?

S u bboso t h at's as good a convv ct o n as a ny

- A good deal better than most, sir.

- What?

A good deal better than most...

(Drowned out by dive bomber)

Here you are, chum.

Here's a nice cup of cocoa.

Want a biscuit?

Go on, leave it. He might fancy it later.

I never thought I'd be so glad

to see a cup of cocoa.

That's right, chum, have another go.

Come on, it's better with your boots off.

What a swallow! Lovely. Have some more.

We're getting quite close.

Good old white cliffs of Dover.

Look better with the sun on them.

Still, can't have everything.

- Damned lucky to see them at all.

- Quite right.

Haven't had a chance to thank you, Kinross.

The Navy's put up a fine show.

I hope you don't think we're not grateful.

- Perhaps you'd care to dine one night.

- Thanks. I'd love to.

We'd better get below, Jasper,

and start lining up the troops.

I expect you'll be wanting to push off

as soon as possible.

You've struck rather a busy day.

- Goodbye for the present.

- Forgive me for not coming down.

- Goodbye, sir. Thanks very much.

- Goodbye. Good luck.

- Just ordinary Bovril and sherry?

- Just ordinary Bovril and sherry.

Good. Thanks.

Battalion... sling your arms.

Battalion...

...'shun!

Turn to the left in threes.

Left... turn.

By the right, quick march.

Left, right, left, right.

If I wasn't so tired, I'd give them a cheer.

And that's no error.

Ready to slip, No.1?

All ready, sir.

Let go aft.

Hold on to your spring, for'ard.

Slow ahead, Starboard Pilot.

You'd never think there was a war on.

But there isn't. Not just for a minute, that is.

We've got five more whole days.

Flat calm.

Looks like a piece of grey silk.

My auntie had a dress that colour,

and she sent it to the cleaner's

and it come back all spotty.

Funny to think this is such a little island,

isn't it?

Mm.

He's got France now,

and France is only 20 miles from England.

Makes you think, don't it?

Mummy, Trafalgar won't eat sausage roll.

That's because you spoil him so dreadfully.

Look, Bobby. That one diving is a Hurricane.

No, it isn't, Dad. It's an ME 109,

like the one they brought down last Tuesday.

Don't speak with your mouth full.

What a perfectly lovely day it's been.

Lovely for us, I mean.

- I suppose that's very selfish of me, isn't it?

- Extremely.

I can't believe it's so dreadfully wrong

to forget the war now and again...

when one can, just for a little.

I think it's very clever of you, with all hell

breaking loose over our defenceless heads.

I made the most tremendous effort

and pretended it wasn't real at all.

They were toys having a mock battle

just to keep us amused.

That's the most shameful confession.

Sheer escapism.

I don't care.

It has been a lovely day.

The sun's been shining and the country

looks so green and sweet and peaceful.

And you are on leave,

even if it's only till the day after tomorrow.

Teddy, I wonder where we shall all be

this time next year.

A lot might happen between now

and this time next year.

(Guard's whistle)

Take care of yourself, my darling.

It was a good honeymoon while it lasted.

Tweedledee smiled gently and began again.

The sun was shining on the sea,

shining with all his might.

He did his very best to make

the billows smooth and bright.

This cocoa gets thicker and thicker every night.

It's warming, anyhow, sir. Lines the stomach.

Well, it's practically porridge.

There goes another lot, sir.

Looks as if poor old Plymouth's

going to get it again.

Well, I will say one thing for that bit of fish.

There may not have been much of it,

but it was tasty.

It's that Mr Morgan. He always favours us.

It's Freda that gets round him.

The moment we got into the shop,

up he comes with a chair as if we was royalty.

Oh, he's all right,

if only he wasn't quite so nosy.

- How are you feeling, dear?

- Fine, thank you.

Did that letter from Shorty cheer you up?

I wish he was home,

and I wish that ship would get a bit damaged,

not so that anyone was hurt, mind you,

but just so as he could get a little bit of leave.

Never mind, dear.

Men must work and women must weep.

That's what I always say.

That sink's stopped up again.

It never rains but it pours.

We'd better get Mr Luton in.

He was blitzed out last week.

Don't know where he's moved to.

- Anybody seen my scissors?

- Yes, I've got them. Here they are.

(Air-raid siren)

Oh, here they are again!

Bit later than they were last night.

(Siren continues)

I wish you'd go down to the shelter, Freda.

Please don't start all that again, Auntie.

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