In Which We Serve Page #8

You know I hate being shut up down there.

It makes me feel sick.

I'd much rather stay up here, I would really.

But in your condition, I honestly think...

It's no use, Mother. Leave her alone.

It's all very fine you being calm and collected,

but I'll tell you one thing here and now,

my nerves won't stand much more of this.

You can go down to the shelter.

Nobody's stopping you.

Try as I may, I can't understand why

you won't shut up the house and evacuate.

I've told you why till I'm blue in the face.

(Footsteps outside)

When you could go away somewhere quiet,

it seems just plain silly to sit here and ask for it.

Could go away! Where, I should like to know?

Well, there's Dorothy for a start.

She's got a spare room.

Thank you for nothing. I've slept in it.

It may be a bit poky, but it's safe.

Once and for all, Mother, will you

do me a favour and shut up about this?

I've told you how I feel and that's that.

This is Walter's home, and he expects

to find me in it when he comes back on leave.

What do you suppose he'd think

if he turned up unexpected

and found the house locked up

and me hiding in the country?

He might only have a few hours.

That'd be a nice thing.

You could let him know where we were,

couldn't you?

Oh, it's "we" now, is it?

I thought there was a catch in it.

Kathleen Hardy, how can you say such a thing

to your own mother?

(Bomb whistles)

Well, I'm sorry,

but you make me tired sometimes.

I'm sure I'm only trying to be sensible.

What about the garden and Walter's bulbs

that he's so proud of? Who'd look after them?

Bulbs don't need any looking after.

They just come up.

(Bomb whistles)

(Explosion)

Come on, Freda. Under the stairs you go.

Your chair's all ready for you.

Oh, I'm all right here, Kath.

Just do as you're told, there's a good girl.

We'll leave the door open like we did before

so you won't feel lonely.

- Oh, Kath!

- Come on. I'll bring your sewing.

The light's quite good in the hall.

(Rumbling)

(Explosion)

That sounds like a land mine.

No, just an ordinary HE.

Land mines make more of a rumble.

(Rumbling)

I don't like it, Kathleen.

It's no use pretending I do.

I know you don't, Mother. Nobody does.

But there's no use in making a fuss, is there?

Cheer up, there's a dear.

Are you all right, Freda?

Yes, thanks.

If you're cold, I can run up

and get you an eiderdown

I'm quite warm.

We'll have some tea in a minute, anyway,

just to keep us going.

(Bombs whistling)

(Explosion)

Right you are. Back.

Carefully, now.

Whoa. Back. Slow.

Whoa. Whoa.

(Explosion)

(Explosion)

Tell Walter...

Tell him I didn't want to leave the house.

(Footsteps)

Nurse?

Nurse!

Is it all over?

Yes, dear.

It's all over. Don't worry.

Mother and child doing well.

(Air-raid siren)

This is the fourth time in three months

we've put into this dead-and-alive hole.

Don't worry, cock. We'll be off again tonight.

I know. There's no need to rub it in.

But I'm chock-a-block with this place.

Well, where could you go

if you could get ashore?

Look at it. Nowt but sheep and seagulls.

Not even a tree.

What do you expect in the north of Scotland?

A blinkin' casino?

There must be one bottle of beer in Scotland.

Just one wonderful bottle of beer.

Well, here comes Posty, anyway.

Edgecombe, Blake...

There you are, Shorty. Hollett.

Stick it on the table, will you?

My hands are wet.

- I expect it's a bill from my tailor.

- Mackeridge.

- Only one?

- That's right.

It's from my young sister.

After months on the North ruddy Sea,

all I get is a letter from my young sister.

Shut up grumbling for a bit, can't you?

Cheer up. It may be bad news.

- Oh, dear, more trouble.

- What's up?

Some fathead left the coal hole open.

My old woman fell down it.

(Laughter)

Joey! Joey!

It's come. The baby's come.

It weighs 7lb and it's a boy.

Here, listen to what she says.

"It was born in the middle of a blitz..."

What's the matter?

Kath Hardy.

Kath and her mother.

- The whole house went and they got killed.

- Mrs Hardy?

Yes. My missus was living with them,

you know.

I wonder if anybody's told him.

They hadn't got any kids, had they?

No, they ain't got no kids.

Well...

I suppose I'd better go and see if I can find him.

Hello, Shorty.

I er... just popped along

to see if you had any news from home.

Not so much as a postcard,

but that's Kath all over.

All the years we've been married,

I've never known her get a post right yet.

Have you heard from Freda?

- Yeah.

- How's she doing?

She's all right.

Why, what's the matter?

It's Kath, Walter.

She and Mrs Lemmon.

You see...

They was all in the house together and...

it got blitzed.

What do you mean?

Kath got killed.

Both of them did.

Freda was all right. She...

She was under the stairs.

Oh, I see.

So, er...

I thought I'd better come along and tell you,

seeing that...

Thanks, son. I'm much obliged.

I'm much obliged.

I think I'll just go out on deck for a bit.

Righto.

- I'm glad Freda's all right.

- Yes, she's fine. We er...

We've got a son.

I'm glad.

Congratulations.

(Seagulls cry)

She's going, sir.

Three cheers for the ship.

Hip, hip, hooray!

Hi hi hooray!

(Aircraft approaches)

Look out. They're coming again.

Dark object floating off starboard bow, sir.

Looks like a raft.

You're right, Yeoman.

Stand by to pick up survivors.

Aye aye, sir.

(Coughing and spluttering)

Keep up your spirits.

I believe they've arrived at last.

(All shout)

Looks like one of the old flotilla.

(Cheering)

(Joey plays Roll Out The Barrel)

# We'll have a barrel of fun

# Roll out the barrel

# We've got the blues on the run

(Cheering)

(Ship's siren)

Thank you.

- I'm damned glad to see you, sir.

- Thanks, No.1.

Captain sends his compliments, sir.

Thank you. Tell him from me, I warned him.

He won't get command of this flotilla yet.

It was an extraordinary bit of luck finding you.

The Chief Yeoman spotted you.

We were about to give up.

- How many of my men have you picked up?

- 90, sir. Some are badly knocked about.

- Where are they?

- Between decks.

- The dive-bombing's been pretty incessant.

(Alarm)

Here we go again. Anybody got any Flit?

- Anybody happen to know where we're going?

- Alexandria, I expect.

Join the Navy and see the world.

Looks to me as if it's going to be the next world.

It's all right. Don't move.

(Dive bomber approaches)

- Glad you're OK, sir.

- Thanks, Fisher.

We were getting a bit worried about you, sir.

- Nothing like a good swim before breakfast.

- That's right, sir.

Snotty, give me a piece of paper and a pencil.

It's... No.17.

Just as you turn out of...

turn out of the high street.

All right. I've got the address straight.

I'll let her know.

Thank you, sir.

All right, son.

Try it a little louder, son. I can't quite hear.

24... Gr... Greek Street.

All right. Don't worry.

I'll write and tell them they can be proud of you.

(Bomb whistles)

(Explosion)

Of all the persistent bastards!

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