Inbred Page #4

- Tim, help me with his legs.

- Sorry mate.

- That's gonna teach us

- What happened?

- Those lads attacked us in there!

- What lads?

- It's locals. And the way he threw out.

- What did they do to want us threw out?

- It's only me and Sam, making two of us.

- They were burning animals.

- And they attacked you say?

- F***ing inbred c*nts started it.

- Hey! But not all c*nts from around here.

The man is dying, please!

Why don't we call the

police, don't you see?

- Yeah, Wilf's on the phone. Now!

- We need to clean it.

We need to take his trousers off.

Alright pal. I'll give you

something to ease the pain.

Give me that!

Hey! You dark bastard!

You ...f***ing bastard.

F***ing ... bastard.

Don't give me that sh*t, what.

You!

And then f*** it up Fridays.

I didn't do now.

Didn't do know.

The book, you f***ing scoundrel.

What f***ing not?

He did fell over. He got a

life in something on my own.

He ripped them down both.

You what?

He even scold Bathius.

- Then he tripped up and he cut himself.

- Huh, he fell over.

- It won't grace!

- Why didn't you say so?

Anyway, can't take them here.

Put the word out. About an early show.

Free admission. And then scrunchions.

Right. I want this place

spotless. Feed him to pigs.

- Ah, he must weigh a ton, Dad.

- Well, chop him up then!

- F***ing hot in here.

- Dwight, please.

- What the f*** did you do?

- Will you shut the f*** up, Dwight!

Oh, they burning animals, Ray.

They are, then set them free.

You f***ing do gooders.

You know, you and your spark of

a girlfriend are f***ed, you know that.

For f*** sake, Dwight!

We are all going to f***ing die

if we don't stick together.

Do you understand me, eh?

Think of something! We've gotta get

out of here! They're gonna come back.

Ah, I think I can get us out of here.

Do you see something really sharp.

Anything. It's too thick.

It's gonna fit in the

lock. It's too thick.

- Tim

- What?

- Have you got anything?

- No! I f***ing haven't.

Think then!

- I have a ...

- Perfect. That's perfect.

- Come on!

- Be patient.

- Come on, hurry!

- Calm down.

- Look at me. I'll ...

- I'll poke a giant if you want!

- Okay calm down, it's okay.

- Come on!

Come on.

Well, that's a lot ladies.

- Let's say it's their ...

- Any one want this?

God!

I hear there's a show tonight.

Can I come?

- Don't know. Can't hear you, Ron.

- Will you ask your dad?

- I'll ask. No promises.

- Okay you do that. I might see you later.

Tonight?

Excuse me. Come on Turkish.

We're going to a show.

Look what he did.

Which one?

Please, we don't understand why

you're doing this. What's going on?

What the f*** is happening?

We have not done anything.

- Alright, love, alright.

- Please let us just go.

- I don't understand!

- Just shut your f***ing cake hole!

Or do you want to be next? Is

that it? What do you reckon, son?

- No, save her for a bit. She is ...

- No. Stop.

F*** off!

Whatever you want with us, please leave

us alone, please. Please leave us alone.

Sam!

Let me go, I say.

Sam!

Open this f***ing door!

Hurry up.

Get him over to the barn.

Help! Someone.

Somebody come help me, please!

Get off me please!

Let me go!

What are you doing?

Damn it!

Get off me!

I swear, I won't...

How you guys doing?

What's he doing?

You're crazy f***!

Your father, he was best.

He knew how to put on a show.

Put real pizazz into it.

Please, let me go. I won't

tell anyone. Just let me go.

What is wrong with you?

The laughter. And dancing.

I do a good job.

Too messy.

Talking of you bastard.

Jesus. Why don't you let me go?

You f***ing ugly bastard!

Watts, you can go.

What you gonna do?

What are you doing?

I'm going to make you famous, lad.

What's wrong with you?

F***ing mad!

Help!

I need help. Help!

Let me tell you all

when I wake up this ...

Day by, bygone

Went outside his king and

started to stake a claim

Day by, bygone.

Pulled down father's pants,

and chopped off both his legs...

Open this f***ing door!

Oh f***. F***!

Oh man!

What do you want me doing?

What the f*** is going on?

And took his gutsy wife

and buried her alive...

Day by, day bygone.

Get my shirt ready for the second show.

This one will be covered in sh*t.

Day by day bygone.

Oh, you beautiful, beautiful

people. Except for you.

It's not your face or

your neck just grown up?

Only joking.

No, but seriously folks, it's great to

be back with all the familiar faces.

And exciting news.

A little birdie tells me we've

got shows lined up all week.

Same time, same place,

etcetera, etcetera.

So, without further ado,

on with the show.

Leave me alone, please!

You see up in the nose.

Let's see what can fit up there.

- Bastard!

- Calm down, please Tim.

- I can't.

- It's not gonna f***ing work, mate.

And it's worth a try, yeah.

It's worth a try, mate.

Oh, f*** out of here.

- Don't shout, please!

- We gonna get the f*** out of here, Kate!

Do you like that?

Thank you very much.

Nearly got it.

Come on. Come on.

Come on!

One for you.

And one for me.

One for you.

And one for me.

- Hello Wilf.

- Hey Ron.

I hear there is a show on today.

I bet it's a good crowd?

Ahh, just a few.

Don't be enough room for

one more, would there?

Sorry, Ron.

Jim said, they don't take

to your f***ing little rat

after what happened the last time.

It won't happen again.

I've left the little fella at home.

Don't take this personally, Ron.

Now, f*** off.

- Fork best there?

- The best.

- Maybe next time.

- Maybe next time.

Alright.

One for you.

And one for me.

Help!

Shut up. Okay,

don't say anything.

The door is open now.

Wait now. Wait there.

Well, what is there for all

of you to see about, eh, eh?

Now don't go away, because we've got

a bonus attraction coming over next.

The house special.

Right after this intermission.

We've been expecting

requests. So don't be shy.

Hey, get another one now.

Get the sh*t brother and

get that bookey off your head.

Hey, you!

Come on, what you waiting for!

Go!

- Dwight!

- Dwight!

Move! Run!

Dwight!

What the f***!

Dwight! Come on!

Stay the f*** down!

Dwight!

Come here you bastard!

Kate!

F*** it! Go!

Come in.

No!

Kate! Come on.

Fighter!

Stop it!

Come here little girl.

Come to Wilsie.

Dwight!

Kate, come on!

Go to hell!

Dwight!

Dwight!

- Where did they go?

- They took the hook road.

- Don't get stabbed next.

- What?

- Don't worry about that.

Taste that.

Get that sh*t to me father now.

I clean up.

Go get the others, piss.

Bring 'em back.

We gonna f***ing eat well tonight.

Keep coming! Come on!

- Stop!

- Come on!

Come on, we gotta

get back to the cottage.

Are you okay?

- Watch you step.

- Yeah.

- Come on!

Come on, Cole. It's about

timing in that light next.

Get the wig on him.

Aunt Sally.

You ready?

Away then.

Gentlemen, ladies, and Angus.

You have had your first course, but that

was shite compared to the main attraction.

I give you the not quite

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