Ingrid Goes West Page #7

- Do you understand?

-Come on, baby,

-you can do this.

-This is a f***ing warning!

You know this bag

is see through, right?

F***!

W-wait. No, no, no, no, no.

Don't shoot me.

Why the f*** you didn't stop?

I can kill you. You drag me out

to the f***ing desert

- with a f***ing paintball gun.

Stop!

- Hey.

- - Hey.

Um, this is gonna sound weird,

but have you heard

from Nicky at all?

No, why?

Is everything all right?

Not really.

We haven't heard

from him since yesterday.

I think his phone may be dead.

Maybe he flew back to Paris.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

I don't know.

I'm just worried about him.

I'm sure he's fine.

But... do you wanna grab

a coffee and talk about it?

No, I can't right now.

Sh*t. Sorry, my mom's

calling me. I gotta go.

- Okay. Well I'm at--

last minute escape

to j. Tree. Hashtag, blue.

Hello?

It's five o'clock

somewhere.

Hello.

Hey.

Wasn't expecting you.

Where are you guys?

- We're at dinner.

- Oh, cool. Um...

Yeah so, it's so weird.

I know you guys

were in Joshua tree

and actually here, randomly,

on a yoga retreat.

- So I figured we could all--

- we're not

in Joshua tree.

- You're not?

- - Taylor doesn't wanna

see you anymore.

Put Taylor on the phone.

She doesn't want

to talk to you.

Okay.

Um...

Should I call back tomorrow?

Is that a better time, maybe?

Nicky told us everything

about the phone, the kidnapping.

If he hadn't tried

to blackmail you,

you'd be in jail right now.

You understand?

- Ezra, wait.

- - Don't call here again.

- Hello?

Hey.

You've reached Taylor.

-Leave a message.

Hey, it's Ingrid. So I just had

the weirdest call with Ezra.

And I just feel like,

we should talk about this.

I don't know what

Nicky told you guys,

but the fact is,

he's definitely lying.

I mean, he was probably

drunk or something, so...

I don't know,

but it sounded so insane.

So just call me back

so we can talk about it.

Okay. Please call me back.

It's Ingrid.

Hey. You've reached

Taylor. Leave a message.

--Hey! Me again.

Um, haven't heard back

so I'm starting to worry.

I mean, this isn't like you.

Call me back, okay?

Okay.

Hey. You've reached

Taylor. Leave a message.

--Hey, it's me, again.

Remember me, Ingrid?

Ingrid, patron of the arts.

Ingrid, with the truck.

Ingrid, who saved

your f***ing dog's life.

The least you can do is pick up

your f***ing phone, you b*tch.

Hey. You've reached

Taylor. Leave a message.

--Hey, it's me.

I was totally kidding

about all those messages

that I just left.

It was a joke.

Gotcha.

Yes, I'm so angry at you.

It's me, Ingrid, I'm mean.

I'm just kidding. So...

Anyway, I'm gonna be around

probably for another hour.

So I have one more thing to do.

So give me a call.

Oh, my god,

that's you calling in. Hello?

Listen to me, you psycho.

If you don't stop this sh*t

right f***ing now

I'm calling the f***ing cops.

Do you understand?

It's three

in the f***ing morning.

-Just leave us the f*** alone.

The voicemail box

you're trying to reach is full

and cannot accept new messages.

Goodbye.

Oh, no. No.

You okay, miss?

I'm fine.

Oh, okay.

Well, it's pretty hot out today.

You might want

to get out of your car

-and get inside, you know--

-i said I'm fine.

Okay, alright.

Whatever you say.

You see that house over there...

Twenty-two,

flamingo Lane.

Which piece of property

is it you're interested in?

-Twenty-two, flamingo Lane.

-Okay.

Unfortunately...

The people that live next door,

they already put an offer on it.

No.

I've got several other pieces

of property

I'd be happy to show to you.

That's $50,000.

You can count it.

Sorry, but you must have

a credit card or checking

account to open an account.

I already have

an account.

That belonged

to the previous tenant.

- You have to open a new account.

Can you just, please,

give me one more week?

Ma'am, if you don't open

an account in the next 24 hours,

we're gonna have

to shut off your power.

Now, we do offer a payment plan

for those experiencing

a financial hardship.

F*** you, okay.

F*** you, a**hole.

F***.

You piece of sh*t.

Not enough.

Wanna take something off?

Can't I just have it, man?

Come on, it's Halloween.

Nah.

- Fine.

Oh, f***.

Come on.

No. Oh, co-- come on!

What the f***!

Goddamn it!

So, I got a job back east

and actually we will end up

selling the house.

Yeah. It's gonna be

a concept designer for Levi's.

Well, that's the opportunity.

Watch it, f***ing dick!

Ingrid?

I-- I literally just saw you.

Whoo!

-The f*** is she doing?

-Boo!

Happy Halloween.

What the f***

are you doing here?

No f***ing way!

This b*tch again?

Piece of sh*t.

I'm calling the cops.

No, you don't-- don't--

you don't have to do that.

I'm not gonna hurt anyone.

I'm not gonna do anything. Okay.

I promise. I just needed

to charge my phone.

You're not welcome here

so get the f*** of my property.

Can we just talk about this?

I literally have nothing

to say to you.

Please, just give me

five minutes. Okay?

And I promise that

I'll leave you alone.

I just...

I just wanna talk about it.

-Let me handle this, okay.

-No, it's fine, baby.

-It's okay.

-Okay, it's fine. You got it.

Five minutes. That's it.

Okay.

Come on.

Okay, are you going to say

what you wanted to say?

Why are you

acting like that?

It's just me, Ingrid.

I'm sorry. Are you--

are you actually insane?

'Cause you do know Nicky almost

died because of you, right?

I thought we were friends.

-We had so much fun together.

-Oh, my god.

Ingrid...

We were never friends

because everything

about you is such a f***ing lie.

You just are some weird freak

that found me on instagram.

And that's basically

all this has been.

Everything about me is a lie.

Okay, well...

-What?

-Everything about you

is a f***ing lie. Okay.

-It is.

-Okay.

Your brother is a drug addict.

Your husband is an alcoholic

who f***ing hates you.

And you pretend to be

some cool L.A. chick,

but you're full of sh*t.

Ezra told me everything, okay.

He told me that

when you moved here,

you were lame and basic,

and you had no friends.

You were just like me.

You know what, Ingrid, um...

I was, uh,

actually never like you...

Because you are

a sad and pathetic,

and very sick person,

and you need professional help.

Game over.

Forgot something.

Phew!

Sorry about that, everyone.

- Everything's okay.

- Everything's cool.

Hey guys! It's me, Ingrid.

I've never done

this before, but...

I didn't have

anyone else to talk to

so I figured, why not.

I just wanted

to tell you guys that...

Basically everything

I've posted

in the last couple of months

is a total lie.

I haven't been living, some

like, glamorous life in L.A.

I'm just...

A loser.

I'm pathetic.

And I know

there's something wrong with me,

but I don't know how to fix it,

and I don't know how to change.

And I just...

Don't think I can change.

So maybe I'm just...

Maybe this is just who I am.

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